alright, my almost two year old daughter throws tantrums multiple times a day over just about everything. from her favorite movie being over, to not being able to reach a toy, ect. my question is .. what is the best way to handle temper tantrums? is this the terrible twos kicking in?
2007-03-07 11:15:20 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Timeout! Try it
2007-03-07 11:17:45 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I wouldn't use a time out for a tantrum, although at 2 she is ready for the time out chair or the corner for bad behavior. But with a time out you need to set a limit to the time. I've always done 1 min. for each year that they are old (2 min. in your case). I simply ignored the tantrums. If we were at home I would put her in her room and tell her that when she stops crying and can talk about it she could come out. If we were in a store or some other public place I would leave. I once left a cart half full of groceries in a store. Don't make a big deal about it, this will only cause louder and longer tantrums. Definitely don't give in to her as this will make her think she can get her own way by having a tantrum. I know it will be difficult but you need to hang in there. Once she realizes that the tantrums don't work she won't throw them as often. She still will sometimes out of frustration, but you need to help her to use her words instead of having tantrums when she's frustrated. Don't worry, it won't last forever.
Good luck!
2007-03-07 11:43:39 · answer #2 · answered by Tink 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son was the same way, and to be honest I wish I had done things differently. People told me to just ignore him. So I did and it only frustrated me more which in return would upset my son more. So I started to put him in Time out, I would not say anything to him while he was throwing his fit because he would not be calmed down enough to hear me anyways (and I did not want to get all flustered with trying too), I would walk away and then once he started to calm down I would come back, put him on my lap and talk to him. Saying things like "what just happen" "are you ok" "that was not nice, what happen" "are you mad?" I know that sounds simple but after time he would not throw tantrums as much. Every parent has to find their own way of dealing with things, and what others do may not be right for you. Try to read your daughters signs first and then go from there. Good luck to you!
2007-03-08 01:10:55 · answer #3 · answered by Ladybug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm no expert, but am a "veteran" of two two-year olds. Every kid is different. With one kid I would throw a tantrum too, when she figured out that her fits would be equaled by mine - she stopped. The other would stop when I broke out the video camera, except for the first time. We played it for her so she could see what she looked like. She would start tantrums, but they quickly ended when the video camera came out. My brother would leave the room. It seems without anyone to perform for, my nephew would stop the tantrum.
So, as I said, each kid is different. Experiment, find the trigger and stay on it.
2007-03-07 11:29:19 · answer #4 · answered by Icicle Works 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To handle anything with kids remember two things, you are only in control of yourself, and they aren't doing it as a personal slight. I know you know these things but they are easy to forget when faced with a full-blown brawl. Her behavior is normal, it should be celebrated, she has reached a decelopmental stage where she recognizes what she wants and is frustrated with her own impotence. Normal and part of growing do not make it any quieter or easier, nor do they make it acceptable. My younger baby is just now 23 months and we are going through it to. The first thing you need to do, is respond to her feelings but don't fix the problem for her. Don't attempt to ignore a blood-curdling scream, the baby will call your bluff every time. Go ahead, go running, but don't fix it, sympathize. "Janey, are you okay? Oh, I see, you can't reach the elephant, you must feel frustrated." She will likely be screaming too loud to hear you but that is how you would want someone to respond if you screamed. Then show her how to fix it. Help her find her stool to reach the toy. If her movie is over, tell her what to say, she may not be able to say it but if she came to you and started babbling, it would be better than screeching. "Oh, your movie is over, come and get me. Tell me movie over mom." Then fix the movie for her. Make sure she hears the words she should use instead of screaming hundreds of times a day. She legitimately feels that the world has fallen apart, putting her in time out will only increase her feelings of helplessness and impotence. Help her learn to find a solution or to ask for help instead. Respect her feelings and see things her way now and you will reap the benefits through to the teenage years. Good luck sister.
2007-03-07 11:39:58 · answer #5 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the terrible twos!! Good luck. I have a six year old that still acts like she is two.
I also have 9 year old twins who didn't go through it as much as the youngest.
What worked for me was being firm and unbending. If I said they would lose their toys then they did. With my twins this worked perfectly. They were very well behaved after a few tantrums.
With my youngest--well I am still working on that but she has gotten better.
Be patient. It will probably end shortly if you are consistent and direct.
Try to ignore her--as hard as it is and NEVER, EVER give in to her demands (I think that is where I went wrong with my youngest.)
2007-03-07 11:25:17 · answer #6 · answered by intewonfan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is most likely throwing the tantrum b/c she can't communicate or just doesn't feel understood. Assure her that you understand her by repeating what she wants and explain no you can't watch Elmo right now
. If she persists, say to her "when you calm down then we can talk"
Good luck b/c she will stand her ground but so must you before it only gets worse.
2007-03-07 12:34:12 · answer #7 · answered by spnshchic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe in terrible TWO"s. NOw before anyone gets upset I don't think it starts at 2! lol My girls both started well before 2, more like 15months & are both still at it & they are 3 & 5. Granted the 5 yr old is not nearly as bad as she used to be but she still ahs her moments. THe best thing I have found that works for us is to ignore the behavior. Just turn around & pretend like you didn't see her throwing that fit. After a few times, they look around & stop. lol
2007-03-07 11:24:22 · answer #8 · answered by mamabens 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she is learning about control. it is her way of demanding attention. Divert it by watching for the build up signs. Don't spring things on her suddenly, show her ways of having control with out tantrums, eg shall we get dressed now or in 5 minutes?
She panics when her favourite film is over because she doesn't understand it has finished. sit with her and 5 minutes before then start gently telling her quitely that it is about to finish. learn to turn tantrams into giggle times. the trick is knowing when to divert attention and when to ignore it.
2007-03-07 11:27:41 · answer #9 · answered by snapdragon747 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her often so she learns words. She maybe can't express her feelings except with anger. Go to her and say 'I can see how upset you are over your movie ending'. Do you spend time with her, or does she entertain herself? Get down to her level and tell her to use her words; I'm sad, I'm mad, etc. Show her that you're there to listen to her.
2007-03-07 11:20:49 · answer #10 · answered by cowgirl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
by advice is to ignore her while she is throwing her fit because the more attention you give her while she throwing her fit. give her lots of appraisement when shes not throwing her fit she will learn when she not throwing a fit she gets more attention then when she throws a fit. good luck
2007-03-07 11:23:17 · answer #11 · answered by this name 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋