I love to Laugh so whats a good joke?

Question

I don't care what it is just make me laugh!

Answer 1

A blonde walks into a store.
Curious about a shiny object, she asks, "What is that?"
The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."
The blonde then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
So she buys one. The next day, she brings it to work with her.
Her friend says, "So you got a thermos. What you got in it.?
"Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."

Answer 2

Ok 2 jokes,

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven. Don't step on the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity with this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment as the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages
to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.
Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on...very tall, tan, muscular, and with good hair. St. Peter chains them together
without saying a word.

The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being with you for all of
eternity?" And the guy says, "Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped
on a duck."

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One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up you’re A*se!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.

Answer 3

Im not racist, I just heard the joke 2 days ago.
What do you call 2 black people standing together?
TWIX.

Answer 4

1 guy walks into a bar
the other 1 ducks

Answer 5

you love to laugh.

Answer 6

ok..whenever i see an amputee about to be hanged i yell out letters lol...if u dnt get it ill explain it more in depth..try to see the joke visually