My fiance got in a stand off with me. He refused to listen to me, then got in a bad mood and walked out of the room. I had told him that I could not take picking up after him anymore. I cleaned our place til very late at night. The next morning he woke up and left his towel hanging on the door, handcream on the table, blanket thrown in a heap on the sofa, etc etc etc. He even told me it was unimportant to put his dish in the dishwasher. (after I cooked him lunch). I do so much from cooking every meal for him, ironing his clothes, you name it I do but he says these things I ask are small and unimportant. If they are so small why won't he reciprocate just to make me a little happy? He said he got in a bad mood cause I nagged him. I feel taken for granted, used and frustrated that to even ask the smallest things ends up in an enormous fight. What do you think?
2007-03-07 10:15:57 · 14 answers · asked by theartisttwin 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Welcome to relationship world.
:P
He's a slob, love him or leave him baby!
(but don't think you can change him...)
2007-03-07 10:19:21 · answer #1 · answered by pepper 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should let it go. If you're not working then you should definitely be doing all of that anyway. That's your job. Also, if he doesn't mind a few things laying around then why should he make sure it's immaculate all the time. If a few things lying around or a dish in the sink bothers you then you should fix it. Maybe it would be a problem if it was disgusting what he was doing but it sounds to me like you like things very, very neat. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm the same way. But you have to understand that not everyone is and if you want things done a certain way then you have to do it yourself. If it really is something that you can't deal with I would suggest not marrying him. It's silly to fight so often over household chores. In the scheme of things it's really not a big deal.
2007-03-07 10:32:33 · answer #2 · answered by dil7827 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So don't do it. Leave things as they are. Make him cook his own meals. Make just enough for you when you cook. Don't pick up after him. Then when he needs something, it's not there. He will figure it out sooner or later.
Yes, it will suck for you to have to live that way, just don't invite company over. haha.
If all else fails, do some serious soul searching and decide if this is the way you want to spend the rest of your life.
I can tell you FIRST HAND, that if you are not 150% sure about a marriage, DON'T DO IT. It usually will end up being the biggest mistake.
Fix what's wrong, then think about it.
2007-03-07 10:21:21 · answer #3 · answered by Allycat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think life is too short to argue over meaningless stuff. Stop picking up after him. It is your choice to walk around after him cleaning up his mess. I realize that you like things to be neat and clean, but would it really hurt to have handcream on the table or a towel on the door for a day or so? I think if you quit for a couple of days, then he would notice and realize all that you do. It sounds like you take good care of him but don't let this stuff cause arguements. It's just not worth it. Choose your battles wisely.
2007-03-07 10:34:34 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some guys expect that a woman do all these things...particulary if she is a stay at home wife/mother. he works all day...you do chores day and nite for him. so many women are working these days that of course its unfair for a guy to expect to be a pig and waited on hand and foot and not help out. he will only make the feelings you have for him go sour and resentful and lose that emotional connection women need to get in the mood. sorry guys, its true! so if ur a working gal...dont pick up after him so much, if youve got a child and he doesnt help out....get some outside help...hire a maid once a week...send the shirts out to the cleaners. look for ways for others to do those things so you and he can spend nice time together cuddling. peace
2007-03-07 10:24:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its only going to get worse. Once you are married he is going to feel like it is his right to have you do everything! You are the woman and that's only the woman's job. You need to really put up a fight about him doing his share so that he doesn't get worse after the marriage!
He is taking you for granted, don't do these things for him and see how he feels about that
of course if he had to do his own cooking and cleaning he wouldn't be able to take you for granted. If it takes you living in a slight mess for a while for him to get the picture that you are his equal not his mother then so be it. He needs to be taught a lesson and it appears the hard way is the only way that will teach him!
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!
2007-03-07 10:25:25 · answer #6 · answered by tweedy778 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh it is needed. people will lie and say that bosses dont care relating to the way you seem, of direction they do! some people have actual gotten jobs because of the fact whilst in comparison with a various individual, they seem extra perfect. and its so unhappy too because of the fact there are such particularly some stable women of stable character and morals, who won't be the main suitable finding, yet they could be super carriers for a kin and sophisticated working and different stuff. regrettably, too a lot of people ignore character and pass straigt for seems. yet to no longer be harsh, in case you have been strolling down the line and observed a enormously lady and on the different area you observed a no longer so beautiful below undeniable jane type, i guess you could maximum likey choose for the gorgeous lady. they're in simple terms extra noticable and stand out for a extra perfect reason.
2016-11-23 14:05:09 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I think is you have a spoiled brat on your hands. His mama did those things and now he expects you to do the same. Do not marry him if you cannot live with him. His behavior is inexcusable... he wants a wife who is also maid. Don't settle for that crap, or you will grow even more miserable. He says these things are " small and unimportant".... that right there tells me something about his character and what he thinks your role should be.
2007-03-07 10:24:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe me, unless he grows up it'll only get worse! If you have explained to him how much you feel neglected and maybe even used if he doesn't help you with the work, and he can't see if, you have two choices: take him like he is (cause ya' can't change guys) or look for someone who is more caring. They say your guy will treat you like he treats his mother...
2007-03-07 10:25:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you have a terrible relationship. Let him live alone for a while ... he'll learn how much work it takes to clean up after him!
2007-03-07 10:19:56 · answer #10 · answered by Kristi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think ur right, u do all the cleaning, cooking, etc....and he does nothing to help at home. then why dont u stop doing what ur doing for him and maybe that will teach him a lesson.
2007-03-07 10:21:27 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋