My husband's brother and his family gave me a used airline bag (the ones airlines give away for free when travelling business or first class) for Christmas. The bag contained used socks; earplugs and a used toothbrush covered in toothpaste and muck. The bag itself was stained yellow due to age. I mentioned this to my brother-in-law and he apologised immediately, he explained that his wife kept presents and recycled them, she must have just grabbed this for me without checking it. I subsequently received a call from my sister-in-law saying that she had paid good money for the bag and was very angry, no apology. My mother-in-law was annoyed with me for mentioning it and said that I should have just thrown out the bag and forgotten about it. Was I wrong in pointing out that they gave me a used toothbrush for Christmas ?
2007-03-07 09:57:10 · 30 answers · asked by pacshore 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No people have to learn the etiquette of regifting.
2007-03-07 10:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by Li 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you were necessarily in the wrong... It was certainly tacky of them to give you such a present. I don't see anything wrong with recycling gifts, but it goes against the grain to recycle used gifts. I am sure your SIL didn't realize there was a toothbrush and dirty socks in the bag, or I am confident she wouldn't have done so. I would imagine that they are being rude because they are embarrassed. YOU didn't do anything wrong, and other than them not being willing to accept they make a tacky mistake, they didn't do anything horrible either. I wonder if there is some way you can make a joke of it. Perhaps put a half eaten sandwich in the bag and give it back with a thank you card... or something like that. I'd try to have a good sense of humor about it all. It is pretty funny after all (not a thoughtful gift, but something you can laugh about later).
2007-03-07 18:03:30 · answer #2 · answered by Susan B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all thats disgusting behaviour, your brother in law wasn't offended, it seems to be a lot of womanly bitching. Speak to your sister and explain what you found. Show her the bags contents if needs be. I t may have been less hassle to not mention it, but i think you were right to stand up for yourself! look on the bright side, if you never get another gift from your brother in laws family! its no great loss!!!
Get your husband to speak to your mother in law and explain that you only metioned it to your brother in law as you were a little confused and assumed there had been a mix up, there was no malicious consent in it.
Good luck, im sure it will all blow over!!
2007-03-07 18:06:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you weren't wrong - the gift wasn't what they intended to give you, and they are your family, so they should be understanding of this little mix-up. You could have just thrown the bag away and forgotten the whole thing, but I don't think it was a real faux pas to mention it... your sister-in-law committed the worse breach of etiquette by trying to force-feed gratitude down your throat.
2007-03-07 18:07:13 · answer #4 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she doesnt like you for some reason.... jealous maybe........for what I dont know.
The sister in law got mad because she knows that she is wrong
and the mother in law took her side just to add drama to the situation...... you weren't wrong. I say keep the bag as is...
same box.......re-wrap and give to the sister in law for her birthday.
Or better yet........ be the bigger person and forget about it.
Move on. Show the family that you are above stupid high school drama and whatnot......thats what I would do. If it comes up again.....simply say........misunderstanding no biggy....really.
And if for some reason something like this happens again......
right then and there hand it to your sister in law (in front of everyone) and say oh this must be yours......sorry I opened it.
2007-03-07 18:06:30 · answer #5 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,
You shouldn't complain about something that was given to you. You didn't spend money on it why worry about it. I would have just done the same kind of gift the following year. I get lots of gift i can't use or don't like but i don't throw it in their faces. Especially when it comes to family. I hate that i get asked for receipts so they can return it. It makes me feel like why even bother.
You messed up and got your husbands family upset at you for a used gift. Was it worth it? if it wasn't then you knew the answer before you even asked.
2007-03-07 18:06:19 · answer #6 · answered by dodgergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR HUSBAND should have been the first to mention this to HIS FAMILY. He should have defended you on this and not have allowed them to get away with it. This is his family and you are his wife. He should be the protector of your interests. He shouldn't have left you alone to deal with this.
Even if you were the first to mention it to your brother-in-law, he should have spoken to them, too. He should tell his brother to tell his wife that if she doesn't have any better gift to give, she may as well not give any!
Your mother-in-law has a point but here again, your husband needed to step in and defend you.
2007-03-07 18:06:12 · answer #7 · answered by JADE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, recycling gifts, pro's/cons or not, a used bag, toothbrush etc.. is just nasty. You were right in bringing it to their attention. Hey, you might be the only one to get a new gift next time. Hope all works out.
2007-03-07 18:01:36 · answer #8 · answered by dadknows 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It's best to just say Thank You and throw it out. It's this type of problem that makes people hate Christmas and Brithdays too. Don't worry now though. We have all been through some problems with gift-giving. It's hard to be on either end.
2007-03-07 18:16:00 · answer #9 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I woud be conserned that they have mental problems. If I was given those things I would be confused. You were completely right to say somthing. About the good money part, that was a way to make you fell bad. Logicly, who would buy expensve USED personal items, and give them as a gift? Honesty, NO ONE!! Go scream at whoever was mean enugh to do that to you.
2007-03-07 18:20:31 · answer #10 · answered by ****** * 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL!
No, you were not wrong. I think it's hilarious. She was mad because she was embarrassed, as she should have been!
It's ok to re-gift but, hey, try to make it personal by adding something else and please check to see if it has old dirty socks or toothbrushes in it first!!!!! LOL If I were you I would give her something very similar next Christmas. Get the point across.
2007-03-07 18:02:52 · answer #11 · answered by Keenu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋