I'm getting married in 3 weeks but...?

Question

...am scared. Is it normal to feel a bit overwelmed?

I won't have any family there, but my fiance has said he will be my family from now on...

I just wish I had family there, that's all, I guess.

Am I selfish for wantring that?

I'm adopted. I don't know my 'real' family.

My adoptive mother refuses to come to the ceremony.

I should add that I've only got my adoptive mother and not other family really. She's not fallen out with my fiance, she just doesn't approve of me getting married full stop.

I've no other family. So my side of the church is going to look pretty empty!

Answer 1

Your wedding will be one of the most emotional days of your life... and you are not selfish for wanting your family there. It is normal to start feeling overwhelmed. It is a big in your life. I'm sorry you and your adopted mom can't work this out so she will come to the wedding. Your fiance is right... he will be your family from now on... and you should rejoice in that. If it makes you feel any better, there were only 3 people from my family at my wedding. Just remember this, when those doors open and you see him standing there... everything else will disappear. I don't think I even realized anyone else was there with us. Just keep looking in his eyes the entire time... it will ease your mind and keep you from getting anxious. Good luck and congrats.

Answer 2

Hey, sorry to hear your mom won't come to the ceremony. Is your marriage creating a conflict between you and your family? Perhaps it has something to do with the way you're feeling. Your husband will be your new family, yes - but the original family is still very important! Of course you want your family to be there and share in your special day. I'm not sure if they're not coming because of some special circumstances, or because they're opposed to your marriage? I live in a different country than my family (on a different continent, actually), so the only person from the family who came to my wedding was my dad. But it was because of the practical issues, not because the rest of the family did not support me in my decision. I don't know if it might be normal to feel "scared" before the wedding; I've never felt scared, and I'm on my third marriage. But I hear some people get nervous. I hope it all goes well for you. Congrats.

Answer 3

This is totally normal. You feel overwhelmed because it IS overwhelming. Getting married is a big step to take alone, pile on wedding preparations on top of that and honestly, I am surprised that most girls dont suffer nervous break downs. Not having family can make it even harder because you dont really have anyone to lean on. Your fiance saying he is your family is all well and good, but he doesnt replace the mom or sister factor, which is probably what you are really missing right now. I'm sorry you dont have that support system. And wanting to have it doesnt make you selfish in the least, you are a normal girl. I hope at least, that you have a really good girlfriend, every girl needs one of those, and if you do, I am sure she is more than willing to give you a shoulder to lean on or just an ear to listen if you need one. Or, maybe you could call your fiance's mom, I know it really isnt the same since she is his mom, and not yours, but I am sure she would be thrilled to lend any kind of support that you are wanting right now.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

You are not selfish. It's perfectly normal to be overwhelmed. Yes, your fiance will be your family from now on, but that doesn't mean you still don't have other family. You say you're adopted and that your adoptive mother isn't coming, do you have anybody else from your adoptive family coming? Maybe you should register on one of those adoption websites and show your interest in finding your birth parents. Your birth parents may already be registered looking for you. Don't be sad, sweetie, we understand your wanting family there, but try to look forward to your new life with your husband.

Best wishes.

Answer 5

First of all, congratulations on your upcoming marriage! Please know that it is completely normal to feel a bit overwhelmed and anxious before getting married, especially if you will be moving away from your family. It is a big enough decision without the added stress of adjusting to a new environment.

EDIT: I'm sorry, I just saw your additional details...apparently I misunderstood your question. If it is important to you that your adoptive mother be present, and yet she refuses, why do you think that is? If there is some conflict between your fiance and her, you might want to decide if marrying him right now is worth potentially damaging your relationship with your family. Her reluctance to accept the marriage could be a sign that she sees something you don't. Only you can decide if her reasons are worth postponing things. Good luck with your decision!

Answer 6

Most brides as well as grooms have pre wedding jitters. It is totally normal to feel overwhelmed. If you want your family there, invite them. It's up to them to come or not. You aren't selfish for wanting it. It's your special day, so make it the way you want it to be. As for your fiance saying he will be your family from now on, depending on the situation between you and your family, he could have said it to show you his love and support. You said you were adopted and your adopted mom isn't attending the wedding. What about the rest of the family? Dad, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles? If you and your family had a falling out over your relationship and wanting to marry your fiance, then it's their choice to attend or not. It's sad, but sometimes you have to make a choice between loved ones. It's never easy, but you make the choice you feel is right for you and stick to it. GOOD LUCK and CONGRATS to both of you!!!!!

Answer 7

Family is not really necessary as long as you love the one your with that is the main thing. Congrats and have a great wedding day be happy and yes it is completely normal to feel a bit overwhelmed.
Your not being selfish you are acting like a normal person that wishes they had family to be there on that special day.

Answer 8

Its normal to be nervous, but why will you have no family there? If it is because of any conflict between him and them then maybe you should think very hard about whether you are doing the right thing. If this marriage is causing you to lose your family, which obviously you dont want to do, then maybe its not worth it. Is his family going to be there? If they are it will make you miss your family even more.

Answer 9

No, I understand. I'm getting married on March 17, 2007. I feel the same way overwhelmed. You have soon to husband there, that's all that matter!! Congratulations and best wishes.

Answer 10

Well it is a big dedication on your part. I moved as well for love and i don't have family here either. I do complain sometimes, and feel lonely, but i think to myself how much lonelier and unhappy i would be without him. I'd rather have him than anybody else. Good luck