Can I move out with my dad, even if my mom doesnt want me to?

Question

I cant stand living with my mother, she is fat and lazy and doenst do anything for herself. She never wants to talk to me of go places or do things and even if she did, I wouldnt want to because she is such a terrible person. Her and her rotten boyfriend. I want to go and move with my dad. My dad actually wants me to move in with him. He has an awesome wife and a wonderful step son. My mother nor stepfather went to college but my father and stepmom did and I think that because I plan on going, it would help me to go stay with them. We have awesome chemistry, we can like talk and then hours just fly past. My mother doesnt want me to leave because she is on welfare and then she would have to work. She is just using me and I am tired of it. I dont even think that she really loves me. My father wants to go legal but she doesnt so she can get that welfare money. I am 15 now and I think that I am old enough to decide where I want to live. What type of legal action do I need to take?

Answer 1

It says in their divorce papers who has sole custody. Now i am assuming it is your mom because you are living with her. Now, If your mom does have sole custody DO NOT just go live with your dad. You mom could sue your dad if you do that. Your dad would have serious reprimands. You are not of legal age to decide where you want to live. If you really want to go live with your dad your dad will have to contact an attorney. He will have to take your mom to court if she is not going to let you go. You will then, more than likely, talk to the judge one on one and you tell him that you want to live with your dad. He will ask you why and all sort of questions. Be amture and answer truthfully. You have to show that you are mature enough to make your own decisions. If you go in there and just bash your mom he probably won't let you move because you are not acting mature enough to make your own decisions. And after that it's up to the judge.

Answer 2

IF you live in the U.S…

YOU can’t take any legal action. Your father can petition for custody. He might or might not get it.

Frankly, if I were your mom, I’d let you go, because you sound like a complete jerk.

“down” is wrong. Emancipation is not an option in this situation for so many reasons.

“joycee” is wrong. You can’t just move in with your Dad, and if you do, he can find himself in all kinds of legal trouble.

“tammie” is wrong. In NO state can a 16-year-old move out. The legal age is 18.

I'd suggest that you don't take advice from the kids on here that don't have a clue what they're talking about.

Answer 3

Remember that sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. I only have what you said to go on but would believe you would be better with your father. I also believe you are old enough to make that kind of decision but the problem is you are still a minor and if not allowed you can't make that decision even if your decision is correct. Maybe if you are lucky your father can work with the courts and get custody of you. I wish you luck and hang in there as you will soon be 18 and can them make the decision.

Answer 4

There are probably many things that you don't understand yet. I'm not protecting your mother or against her. You are old enough to make a decision to live with your father or mother. But if you decided to live with your father, try not to hurt your mom by saying what you said in your column here. Because you may find out later in your life your view may not be 100% accurate.

Sounds like she has many problems, but then who are we to judge that? We all have problems on way or another. Afterall, she is your mother. Talk to her, let her know that you love her, but also let her know that you want to spend more time with your dad, and you are consiering to live with him, and you would like her blessing, so you two can continue to have a relationship as you grow up.

Answer 5

I think you're old enough and in the court of law, you can decide where you want to live.

As far as your mom is concerned - she's still your mom. Being disrespectful to your own mother is not very nice regardless of her circumstances.

I wish you a very happy and prosperous life wherever you go. Take care and remember to visit or call your mom. Give her some love; she went through a lot of pain and I'm sure she took care of you when you were young (sleepless nights and whatever else rearing a child maybe).

Answer 6

It's sad to hear a son talk about his mother like that. Nothing against you. It's just sad that if she's doing what you say she's doing she doesn't deserve to have you around. What i think you should do is talk to your counselor at school. Explain to him/her that you feel unsafe in the enviorment your in and that you feel that being with your dad would benefit you in the long run. It's a healthier and that you would prefer to be there.
They can probably help.
Or if your father feels that it's in your best interest to move with him he will by pass what your mother has to say and go to court. Forget about the welfare check she might get...I am sure you don't see any type of money from that anyway.
Seriously sweetie...talk to your counselor and see where it goes from there.

Answer 7

The answer will depend on where you live. Emancipation is the big buzz word in the USA, but my understanding of emancipation is that it makes you legally responsible for yourself, not that it transfers guardianship from one parent to another... The rules vary from place to place so much, though, that your best option is to call a lawyer. Where I live, most lawyers will give the first 1/2 hour telephone consultation for free, and there is a local service that will provide the names of three lawyers specializing in the proper area of legal practice. Perhaps this same sort of Lawyer Referral service is offered where you live.

Good luck - I am facing the same sort of events with my stepson shortly - he's 10 1/2 now, and where we live he can choose to come live with us once he is 12. He's so desperate to get away from his neglectful birth mother, he's already counting! (So are we...) We know there's going to be a battle for exactly the same reason - she's collecting welfare and child support rather than getting a job, and will lose her income sources once he moves in with us.

My thoughts will be with you, and I hope all works well for you. Be proud that you know what is best for you and are willing to fight to receive it. That is very courageous and mature.

Answer 8

Depends where you live, I think. Here in the UK you're free to live where you like once you turn 16. But in those US states where the age of consent is 18, things may be different.

Even so, if he's your biological dad, he should be able to invite you to live with him quite legally - unless of course your mother's been officially granted custody of you. You should check with a lawyer what the position is - maybe ask your dad to come with you.

Answer 9

Well , depending on where you live but usually 16 is legal age to move out the house .Of course I don't encourage that ! Sounds to me like you want to be with your father so try this ...Sit Mom down and tell her that you love her alot but would like to be with your Dad right now.There comes a time in every boy's life when he needs a strong male influence.But be nice ,don't get mad even if your boiling inside.BTW sweetie ,your mom can still get welfare even if you leave so don't for one minute think that that woman doesn't love you.I'm a Mom too ,I have a son and I would do ANYTHING to see him happy.For your sake ,I hope that you end up with your Dad as long as you keep your college dream alive and realize that they probably both love you alot.It wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager so I know it's tough .But I think that if you stay strong you'll get what you want.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU !!! (I hope everything works out)

Answer 10

That's a very tough one. You need to see the counselor at your school. They are enormous help to youngsters who have problems just like yours and they have access to a lot of sources for help. Your counselor can show you how to get help legally to go live with your father if that's really what you want to do. Don't think it's going to be easy but from what you've said, it will be worth it.