There was this girl that I chased after for a while but nothing ever came of it, she didn't want to date. Fine. I was still talking to her but much more occasionally, but our schedules were similar and we were friends first, and this allowed us to go out once in a while for some drinks, sometimes to the wee hours of the morning. Now I am dating someone, and I like her a lot and want something serious w/ her. Problem is, this girl still calls like she did before (which I am not upset about) but now SHE is all flirty when I see her and I want nothing to do w/ it. Frankly she had her chance and I absolutely adore the girl I am now dating. How do I tell her to tone it down w/out ruining a friendship? I wonder if there is even a way or if I should even worry about it. FYI- my gf does know who she is and that I used to be interested, so it's not like I am trying to hide anything from her.
2007-03-07 08:58:33 · 4 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would advise you to nip this in the butt......the other girl is only doing it because now you are considered safe to her. She is wanting something she can't have and that is all. She has no respect for your current girlfriend and is pushing the limit. You need to be straight forward with this other female and tell her hey so and so when I was single the flitatious comments were great but now that I have (current girlfriend) I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or problems rising so lets put the flirtatious remarks on the back burner. If you let this continue then you are showing disrespect to your current g/f so I am proud of you for wanting to take care of it.......if the friend does not understand and ends the friendship with you because of this then why would you want to be friends with someone who cares nothing of someone elses feelings......I say you have nothing to loose by taking care of the situation.......
2007-03-07 09:09:24 · answer #1 · answered by Rigssy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my suggestion is just wait a little while and do not encourage her in any shape or form. And if you feel as if you really do need to do somthing simply talk about your new girlfriend. If none of this seems to get through to the girl sit her down and say she's a amazing friend and that you always want to be friends. And if she still doesn't get a clue tell her straight off. Just stop flirting you've had your chance.
2007-03-07 17:06:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, classic move. She basked in your attention and reveled in the fact that someone was after her, and as soon as you shifted gears (gals), she was like, "What the hell is going on? Am I not attractive anymore?" And flirts with you just to reassure herself that you still like her (whether or not you do).
It seems to me like she only liked your attention, which seems like you shouldn't waste your time with her in any sort of romantic involvement (whether random hook-ups or none) - just make sure you keep all platonic pretenses. If she calls and you're busy, don't ask her how her day was, just immediately say you'll call her back. Act more like a big brother to her. Don't go out of your way to do things for her. Make it known that she's just your friend and it should stay that way.
If she continues, you might need to wait for her to approach you, and say something like, "You know the girl I'm dating, I'm in a really good place with her right now, and it's her b-day coming up, any ideas of what to get her?" Stuff like that.
Keep it friendly, but don't make it seem like she's in your Top 5 Priorities list.
2007-03-07 17:07:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her the truth!
2007-03-07 17:02:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋