Should I be in sister's wedding?

Question

I do not get a long with my sister. When I was married I didn't want her in my wedding party but obliged after my mom cried about it and said I was tearing apart the family. At my wedding my sister stormed off, called me a B&%h, and made a scene. Now she is getting married and wants me in the wedding party. We've not talked in years, I have nothing to do with her, she has already eloped and divorced once, has a kid, and lives with her new boyfriend. To top it off, she didn't even have the balls to ask me in person or over the phone, to be in her wedding party. Instead she sent some half-assed email. When I didn't respond within 3 days she emailed again and said she needs to know now, otherwise she is going to ask someone else. How do I graciously say no and keep peace in my family?

Answer 1

If you think that she is ashamed of what she's done and truly is trying to make amends, then consider being in her wedding.

If you have no desire in the least, then (graciously) let her know that you did receive her e-mail and you appreciate it, but you have too much going on at the moment to be able to commit to being a bridesmaid. Good luck.

Answer 2

I don't think you're under any obligation to act graciously. She certainly didn't when she asked you through email or when she made a scene at your wedding. You don't owe her a thing.

Just hit the reply button and say, "I think it would be best if you asked someone who you are closer to."

You don't owe her an explanation, and she obviously already has someone else in mind if you back out.

Answer 3

I would just tell her you've got a lot of obligations at this time, and you don't think you can devote enough time to your responsibilites. Let her know that you appreciate her thinking of you; (lie if you have to!) but with time and monetary constraints, this just isn't a good time right now. for all you know, your mom pressured her into asking you as well. Hope this helps & good luck!