He says that being in jail has him so messed up mentally that he's acting crazily. He accuses me of cheating but i give him no signs of cheating cuz i'm not. He's super controlling. He always thinks i'm up to no good. He thinks i'm gonna do him dirty. When he's mad he calls me nasty names. He wants me to get his name tattooed very big on my arm ( i already have his name on my lower back) and he says if i do this, he won't trip anymore and he'll calm down cuz then he'll know i love him and won't cheat though i am very loving and cool with him and he should already know i love him. I visit him five days a week, write him all the time, take all his calls and put money on his books. I fell i am an affectionate, cool, good girlfriend. He says he wants to marry me. Each time he gets crazy with me tho, he just says "sorry" and says he doesn't mean what he says. But it still hurts.
2007-03-07 08:53:09 · 18 answers · asked by SUGAR 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are a very smart girl to be questioning this relationship. You have mentioned several things that no person should ever have to deal with, especially from someone who so called loves you and wants to marry you. For starters DO NOT tattoo his name on your body. Unfortunatly you have already done it once. Tattoos can easily be covered these days. It sounds to me that he feels that he owns you. You put your name on your property, not on your girlfriends back and arm. He obviously does not trust you if he is falsly accusing you of cheating, and he obviously has no respect for you if he calls you nasty names for no reason. Just remember sweetie, never settle for second best and do not let people treat you poorly. You are smart for questioning it. I hope you make the right choice. You know what is best for you. Good luck.
There are plenty of fish in the sea. You don't have to go for the sharks. The guppies are kind of cute too.
2007-03-07 09:15:22 · answer #1 · answered by molsoncanadiangirl101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I don't really understand how someone can be controlling from jail. I think its more likely that you give in and do what he says, even when he doesn't beleive you.
Honey listen, people don't change. If he is jealous, irrational, and mean to you now, he will be when he gets out. Jail didn't make him that way. He *IS* that way.
My advice: Break up with him now. Give him time to get over it before he gets out so he doesn't turn into a freaky stalker. And if at any time you feel threatened by him, TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS and call a shelter or the police. Don't let yourself become another statistic. You sound like a smart girl. Don't fall into the "But I LOVE him, so if he's a jerk its ok" trap. You are better than that.
2007-03-07 17:09:30 · answer #2 · answered by cyranothe2nd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O sweetie...you like so need to tell someone about this. I know you love him, but he's crossing the line. You don't have to put up with this. He has an anger problem and he needs to get help. Give him 2 warnings...telling him that if he doesn't straighten up you'll leave. I know it's easy for me to say, but it may in fact be your only option. Jail time may have affected him, but you can get out. This is a personal problem, i just hope my advice has helped.
Good Luck
2007-03-07 17:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by sugar & spice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I read your note, it reminded me of a person I dated years ago. I didn't find out until after being with him for awhile that he'd been in jail for 5 years.
You seem like a nice person. Let me ask you a few questions, and perhaps in answering them inside, you'll be able to answer your other questions.
How long is he in for? What was he like before he went in? One thing I've learned, and unfortunately relearned, is that most of the time people don't change from who they really are.
What are your feeling about his lack of trust? Are you independent? Would you want to live with someone for the rest of your life who would always have these characteristics and never change?
Once tattoos go on, they never come off. One thing I do want to voice my opinion on is that I really think it's unfair of him to ask you to do such a thing. Just think...you'd be stuck with it for the rest of your life.
2007-03-07 17:05:50 · answer #4 · answered by Jan O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your looking at a co-dependent relationship when he get's out. Are you sure you can deal with this behavior cuz it won't go away. If he does not trust you now...he's just not going to trust you ever. Although he might be a great or sexy guy he is controling. Please, find yourself a confident man who will respect you and love you and trust you no matter what.
2007-03-07 17:04:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What the hell are you with this punk for? (Ever thought about that?) What exactly do you love about this jerk? (Give that some thought , too)...and what kind of relationship can you have with a jailbird anyway? Please don't ruin you life and marry the guy. Where are your friends? family? ANYONE that will talk you out of doing this to yourself. Can't you see how awful this guy is for you???
Believe me...he means everything that he says...he is a bully and has got you scared to death. THAT IS NOT HEALTHY. You are a piece of property to him. Do yourself a favor and RUN!!!
2007-03-07 17:06:36 · answer #6 · answered by Ms Kamm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on all this guy will do is drag you down and he is just using you. How can you be attracted to someone that has no confidence and can not even trust you.... makes you think he did something wrong. Also he has no goals in life looks he is in jail....
2007-03-07 17:03:10 · answer #7 · answered by TCUhornfrog87 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly sweety, I think this fella's got some issues that he has to deal with on his own...Sounds to me like he's one of those guys that will end up beating ur ***. And why are you obeying him like a little puppy dog?? Maybe you should take this time to be away from him....it could very well be a good thing...
2007-03-07 17:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by hiiiiiiii 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never ever ever get someone's name tattooed on your body... because the breakup will be painful... in more than one way! ;) Also, don't bother with someone in jail. Break up with him (or at least threaten to), and tell him if you're single when he gets out, and treats you better, you'll consider dating him again.
2007-03-07 17:01:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh great......you've got a boyfriend in jail that has control, anger, and jealousy issues. What other red flags do you require? He's no good and if you do get his name tattooed on you like he's requesting go right ahead and get this tattooed on your forehead "STUPID"
2007-03-07 16:57:29 · answer #10 · answered by Bride23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋