My mother-in-law has always had issues with me marry her only child. She has been very possessive over my husband his entire life and is very controlling.
Ever since she found out we are having our first baby she has been making a lot of comments like, “How is my baby doing?” and “How is our baby today?”
I don’t know why it bugs me, but it does. I know she is excited because this is her first grandchild, but this is my husband’s and my baby and she doesn’t own our baby.
Did you have family members who did this? Do I just ignore her like I have been doing and let it go? I am afraid her possessive behavior is just the beginning!
2007-03-07 08:37:36 · 12 answers · asked by PrettyWifey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Girl, just wait til she insists on being in the delivery room!! I could literally write pages about my feeling & experiences on this subject but I will try to keep it short & just say that when you become a mom, even if the baby isn't born yet, you learn to become more outspoken real quick! You can do it in a way that will get your point across, like joking, and if you do it enough she will get the hint. I had this same problem & after a few times saying "that's MY baby" parents, grandparents, & in-laws finally backed off.
I know you're going through a world of emotions right now. Its all normal & most of us have been there.
As far as if her being in the DR with you comes up, just tell her "we'll see", then don't let her in when the time comes. Then she won't speak to you until she figures out she has to go through you to get to the baby, LOL!
GOOD LUCK!
2007-03-07 08:56:20 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. I got a lot of how is THE baby doing? Our baby sounds more personal I guess. I think it might have bothered me when I was having my first child. I too had a controlling mother-in-law.
I'm surprised she doesn't say "How is my grand-baby doing?".
I think if my mother-in-law said "How's MY baby doing?" I would answer "Your GRAND-BABY is doing fine."
Babies do ted to escalate issues with in-laws. I just kept politely drawing clear lines and encouraging appropriate behavior from Grandma (kind of like parenting!)! After a while she got it. It takes a few years. My mother-in-law and I are close now. She learned that if she treats me respectfully, we can be friends.
I've been married 22 years, and my first child is 21!
2007-03-07 16:51:27 · answer #2 · answered by Karrose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nip it in the bud..every time she says "my baby" just throw in "yes, your grandbaby"....just keep toe to toe with her and every comment she makes repeat yours....she'll get the hint that this is your child not hers and by NO means let her in the delivery room, this is you and your husband's time to share the birth of your baby. She sounds pushy and if you don't lay the ground work she'll take over. Be rude now because it'll only get worst with her telling you how to raise your child. Your husband should support you on this 100%, stand firm or you'll be her mat to walk all over.
Good Luck and congratulations on your pregnancy.
2007-03-07 16:48:40 · answer #3 · answered by Cyn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, I completely understand! I felt the same way with my mother in law, and even got very defensive when they'd watch me breastfeed (since she never breastfed). You're right, her possesive behavior is just beginning, and you need to let her know you're the momma right away. But dont do it rudely, just let her know that just like she loves her son, you love this baby. And just as she raised him how she wanted, and wouldve felt threatened by anyone who wouldve called him theirs you feel the same way. She'll respect you more when you speak softly and put it into perspective to her.
2007-03-07 16:44:45 · answer #4 · answered by NestleGirl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was raised to have set. My advice to you is stand your ground don't burn the bridge but gaurd it. I have had the out laws give unwanted advice and I let them know hay its great you are spending time with the kids there my not yours and I will raise them as I see fit. most of the time its not that nice of wording. don't get me wrong they are great people but there has to be a line. sure the first kid your going to have alot of questions and conserns. let them know now not later.
2007-03-07 16:47:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't help but to laugh but that's the way it is when you marry an only child. It doesn't happen like that all the time though.
2007-03-07 17:51:45 · answer #6 · answered by NicOOd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is going to be butting into your lives until her death. This is the tip of the iceberg. Wait till the thing is born! You're going to get the same parenting "advice" ad infinitum!
2007-03-07 16:40:51 · answer #7 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's happy with the baby, You need to tell her how you feel and that expalin to her, if not, she's going to keep on doing it.
2007-03-07 16:46:17 · answer #8 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
now w/all that said;; how is MY baby doing today? is he kicking a lot?
2007-03-07 16:52:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hun, be happy she is so accepting of your baby... she loves it like her own... it will be spoiled and cared for...
2007-03-07 16:43:17 · answer #10 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋