Want to be with them. My ex boyfriend dragged me around for years playing these mind games with me. One minute he wants us together and I'm the one, the next he doesn't know what he wants. I've let him go and decide what he wants so many times and never chased him or forced him to come back. The last time this happened ended with me now being pregnant with his child. He still has no answer on whether or not he wants to be with me and now he says the decision is hard because he recently met someone he likes that has made him feel differently. I feel like a fool. An idiot that has been waiting on him to step up and be with me, and he decides what we will or won't do. Why are guys like this? Why does he tell me he loves me and anything is possible yet does this to me? I was there when he had nothing. By his side through everything. His family loves me and is excited that I'm having this baby. I was there for years yet he has a hard time deciding between a girl he just me and me? What am I supposed to do now that I'm pregnant? Why do guys do this and when does it end? What can I do to make him regret treating me this way? Serious answers please.
2007-03-07 08:25:26 · 8 answers · asked by tmmygrl210 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry lady but this guy was not going to buy the cow cause he was getting the milk for free! It did not matter whether he abused you or not you were still there for his comfort and use with no repercussions for his misbehavior. Now that child will pay the price for both of your irresponsibility. You should have slapped the guy flat on his back years ago ant told him make up your mind!
2007-03-07 08:32:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you are going through this. I bet it is very hard; you feel heartbroken and betrayed. You have all the right to feel that way, because that guy is very inmature. I don't know why guys do this and yeah girls do it to guys too but not as often and not as cruel...don't get me started on that...anyways. The point is that now you are going to be a mother. Your baby is what matters now. Your baby has nothing to do with his dad's inmature, incosiderate, and crazy ways. Your baby didn't ask you or him to make him. I want you to start thinking like a mother. As a mother you stop caring for yourself and your son or daughter becomes #1. So, do you think is healhy for your baby to live in this kind of drama? seeing his dad mistreat, humiliate and not value his mother? I think your baby will be very unhappy if you keep letting this man in your life as a partner (BF/husband/fiace). In the future your child will copy his dad's ways of not treating women well. He will be angry, depressed and might not even adapt well in school. Do you want this for your child? Gosh I hope not. Find the strenght to keep this guy away. If he says he loves you ok, but he has got to prove it and show it with actions. For what I read he is not proving his love at all! He is running after women for the sex and maybe because with them he doesn't have to be commited. Now, one thing he needs to descide is wheather he is going to be a father figure. He has to be that baby's father but he DOESN"T NEED TO BE YOUR PARTNER. You can be a single mom and be perfectly fine. In other words, whatever the arrangement is through the courts he has to know that if he doesn't change his ways he has NO place in YOUR life. However, he does have a place in that baby's life, if he wants it ofcourse. Don't force him either. Remember, your baby was already in the book of life. He/she is not a mistake. If God chosed you to be that baby's mom is because he knows YOU can handle it. Even under the circusmtances you are in now, God knows that everything is going to be ok and that you will make a great, loving mom to that baby. I have no doubt in my mind that you are going to get through this. Be strong, turn your back on that guy who has turned his back on the woman who is carrying his child. Now, if you want this man, if you trully love this man have faith. Turn all your problems over to God and leave the consequeces to him. Girl, everything, absolutely everything is possible with God. Pray and tell him exactly what you want and then have faith and wait patiently. He listens, trust me, please trust me he listens and he is faithful. Take Care. The best wishes for you and congratulations on being a future mommy!
2007-03-07 08:54:36 · answer #2 · answered by EV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I am sending you a big hug!
The thing to do now is get on with your life and your childs future. If you are in Canada, start looking at improving your education now before the baby is born. Take a student loan out it is worth it. Check out schools that have daycare facilities, whether college (college can be for upgrading too if you need it) or university. If you are in another country check out what is available right away.
You can attend school while you are pregnant. It is no ones business, go by Ms., I do. Then when it gets near your time, take off a couple of semesters. You may not want to go back right after baby is born, but go back, and use the day care facilities as soon as your child and you are ready.
The nice thing about on campus daycare is that it is usually of high quality and you can peek in there anytime you like to check on baby. It takes a lot of strain off you and baby!Smile!
Get what ever support from family you can but stay idependant. People may try to convince you to give up your child. Sometimes that is the right choice, but not always. You can do this. Put your support systems in place and blast off! It is hard I won't kid you but it is doable. It is a lot harder being in a depressing job that you know isn't going to support you two well.
I am a divorced single parent of three boys. I had some good schools behind me but I went back to school again when I seperated. I am heading back yet again for another degree. It does a world of good for your self-esteme. It also helps you get some perspective and it can open a lot of doors.
I used daycares. It can be a good experience. I am a devoted mother and take no nonsense from anyone about being a single parent! Being a good parent is about being a good person that works at the family dynamic. I love my children like nobody else!
It is better to put the time in at school than a low paying no where job! So don't feel too guilty, you will be a role model to your child.
A lot of very successful people men are the product of single parent, single mother homes. We don't get to hear that side nearly often enough!I have heard guys on the media thanking their mom's, mom raised me on her own kinda thing...I get this from her!
As for why men act this way, well men need to be raised to be good people. I have seen women let their boys just order them around and I have seen them go at them as if they are trying to break their spirits. Wrong on both counts. I have seen parents undermine each other and men pass on the wrong stuff about being guys...you teach your kids, male or female to take responsibility for their actions, to have empathy for others, to love themselves, to be nurturers and workers, to be honest and real. You get the idea I don't care for gender roles. True.
Oh there is the regular anxt, but you work through it and teach good communication skills to your kids. My family isn't perfect don't get me wrong. But, if I am sick or discouraged, boy my sons are on it with wizdom, support and a cup of tea!I know they are going to be good men.
When a man has it together wow! Men can be amazing people. Your fella may have some problems that require diagnosis. There are a lot of FASD adults around as an example and there really is no help for them as adults. Maybe find out a little more about what this man was like as a child or teen since you are good with his family. Understanding is very helpful for coping with things like this.
Some men just do this stuff because they can get away with it and some are actually taught that women are chatel and they have the right to do what they want with you. Very ignorant types and dangerous.
Anyway darl'n you deserve better and so does baby. A better situation I am saying. You have to make your own destiny. Most women are not taught that. I am still growing back my wing feathers and they are looking beautiful!So sight your star and get to work. He may try to come back agin especially if he sees you doing well but is it worth it?
You get on with finding out what you can really do and a real man will show up. Be careful though when one does because often we get into subconscious patterns picking men and the wrong guys oickup the scent. That doesn't mean you don't deserve the great guy or that you arenot great. You just doj't register them on your radar.
So get a little councilling. Go secular councilling. If the councillor isn't a good fit try abnother one until you feel you are getting helped.
Better no marriage than a wrong match. Be healthy both of you!
Spread your wings and fly mom!
2007-03-07 09:14:26 · answer #3 · answered by Jamie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has major relationship issues and possible mommy issues, as well. He might have a girl on the "side", as you elude to, that he is actively seeing. How could you get pregnant?
2007-03-07 08:29:23 · answer #4 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an abortion.
Leave him.
Find a good man.
Love is so replaceable. A good man is hard to find. MOVE ON.
He doesn't love you. You will find a good man much easier if you don't have someone else's kid on your arm.
Get out fast.
2007-03-07 08:29:06 · answer #5 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, dear, if you want to make him regret treating you this way, give him full custody of the kid.
And stop dating these Kevin Federline types.
2007-03-07 08:33:32 · answer #6 · answered by Brian 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your an idiot all the way around. First you let him manipulate you and lie to you. B, you allowed him to control you. Three, you didn't use protection when you allowed this loser to screw you and get you pregnant. Come on, stop asking stupid questions and just hire someone to take him out.
2007-03-07 08:30:31 · answer #7 · answered by yuertydef 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Women do it to men too.
2007-03-07 08:28:00 · answer #8 · answered by styler 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋