How do I tell someone they're staying too LONG?

Question

My friend comes over with her son to play with my son. The thing is my son gets real bad towards the end of playdates. I want her to only stay a few hours but everytime she comes over she stays for hours and hours I have to constantly punish my son for being bad. I just get fed with my son and I want to get him out of the situation and finally be relieved of the whole thing but how do I convey this to her without being rude. I've been lying and saying I have this or that appointment so that she will leave by a certain time, but I don't want to keep making up stuff. Why doesn't she want to leave anyway my son hits her son and stops sharing after a few hours!?

Answer 1

Why are you making up excuses instead of coming right out with it? The reason you have to keep doing that is because you aren't telling her the truth. Just say, "Would you and Timmy like to come over? Little Johnny is only good for about 2 hours so we'll just do it from 1 to 3." Tell her ahead of time exactly how long you intend for her to be there. When 3 o'clock rolls around just say, "Okay, this has been fun, but I think Johnny has had enough. Thanks for coming and I hope we do this again soon. Can I help you find your things?"

See how easy that is? You're not being the least bit rude.

Answer 2

Why don't you just tell her the truth. If she's a good friend she'll understand. Explain to her that your son can't cope with company for long period of time. Maybe suggest to her to stay for an hour to start with and see how your son cope. The kids are probably tired from too much playing. Accidents happen when they are over excited or hyper active. In my experience a couple of hours of excitement is probably the max for young children.

Answer 3

Be honest, tell your friend that you like the fact that your children have eachother to play with, but after a few hours your son seems to be overwhelmed. Play dates are great for younger kids, but I know my son need some down time after playing for a while. If she doesn't get the hint, then when your son starts to act up tell him in front of our friend that if he doesn't behave his friend will have to leave. If he mis behaves again simply say."o.k Billy has to go home now because you're not playing nice anymore." Then tell your friend that you feel it would be best for the play date to be over for today, and you'll try again another day. Your friend might not even know that she is over staying her welcome. Good luck.

Answer 4

Just tell her your son is tired and wants his alone time. Because that is the truth. Kids need space from other kids too. I'm guessing you have an only child because my friend's kid does the same thing with my daughter when they are playing together and she starts getting tired. Its life. Just explain to her that your son can only handle being with others so long until he needs a break. My friend and I understand that completely. If she seems to get insulted or think that your child needs to behave better, just explain to her that kids get overstimulated especially if they are used to having everything their own. You can only ask them to share for so long.

And maybe she stays because she needs the break from her kid and wanting the company but don't let that make you feel bad about needing her to leave.

Answer 5

I think the best solution is to just be honest, tell her that your son has a hard time sharing/playing nice for an extended period of time so it's best if they only play for an hour or two. Tell her this ahead of time, so she doesn't come over thinking she's going to stay for 4 hours or something. She probably just wants some company :)

Answer 6

I would just be honest, tell her the truth, tell her your little man can only take 2 hours of play time with her little guy before he becomes over exposed, and SHE KNOWS what happens when he has TOO much of play time. SHe obviously doesn't want anyone getting hit no matter whose child it is.

It isn't fair to your son to have to constantly be punished, it's his house, I am sure hes frustrated by the fact that his company doesnt leave either.

Answer 7

Sounds like your friend is using your house as an excuse to get out and doesn't want to go home. Is she a stay-at-home Mom? If so, I can relate.

As for the staying too late....tell her when you make a play date that the date is from 1:00 - 3:00 and that's it....that way she'll know that she has to start picking up his stuff by 2:45.

Answer 8

Sit her down and let her know that you enjoy the company and respect the relationship but as a fellow parent she must understand that kids can be difficult to deal with at times and you need her and her son to come over less so that you can have more time and control with/over your son. Personal time with him is extremely important and can curb his bad behaviour because he may feel overwhelmed and can be acting out for more attention from you and space from that kid. No one likes to be surrounded by others all the time, we all need our personal days.
Let her know that its nothing against her and you two can work out a schedule that allows play dates once or twice a month or something. Give yourselves time to miss eachother and have catching up to do.

Answer 9

I had a similiar problem. My friend also stays to long. My son doesn't get bad but he gets tired - we all do. She would stay late on school nights (they go to preschool) and that really irritates me.

I finally had to say something directly. I wasn't mean or angry but I just said something like, "We really like having you guys over to play but Frank has to quiet down and rest at 2:00 or he is miserable all night." And she got the hint.

Good Luck SD

Answer 10

schedule the hours before she gets to your house. unfortunately, if you want to keep the friendship u'll have to lie. so just tell her. i have have u over for just an hour then i have to do something. let her know that u dont want to make her feel bad BUT. one hour is all that u could spare.