Why is that after an argument, when I apologize to a family member, think I'm starting it back up again?

Question

I always thought that apologizing meant squashing the situation.

Answer 1

some people just can't except a persons apologies.
sometimes things happen and you think that you are past it only to find that it is thrown back in your face when you least expect it.
so all you can do is say ' I'm sorry' and hope that they are mature enough to accept it and move on.
all you can do is try, and because you have ,your job then ,is done. that is, as long as you don't continue the 'bad behavior' that got you the need to apologize in the first place..

Answer 2

If your apology takes the form of some variation on the theme of "I'm sorry I said/did what I did, but you..." that attempts to justify what you just said you were sorry for, then your family member has a good point. You are bringing it back up.

A real apology takes the form that follows. "I am sorry I said/did [whatever it is your apologizing for]." No attempt to rationalize or distribute blame, no mitigation attempted. Just an apology.

A lot depends on the way you present the apology, too. "Well, I'm sorry, too bad so sad!" in an angry or whiney tone of voice, with body language that indicates that you really aren't sorry, is almost a challenge.

You might want to examine what you are saying when you present your apology, and the way you say it. That might make all the difference in the world.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, most of the time we make excuses for our actions as we apologize. Don't do that. Just say you were wrong for xxx and that you hope they will forgive you. It's in their court after that.

The other side of the coin..some people are too hot headed to accept an apology and will want to reiterate the whole thing. Just repeat your apology and ask for forgiveness.

The reason people resist accepting your apology is because it will require them to own their wrong doings in the argument. They are placed in a position where they need to apologize as well. And that is uncomfortable.

Sometimes walking away after your apology will give them time to let it sink in.

Answer 4

It depends on the tone of your voice and how soon after the argument you decide to apologize. Leave the room and let everyone cool off and then apologize later. Make sure they know that you are sincere.

Answer 5

I recognize the reality which you attempt to make this paintings. inspite of the undeniable fact that, your loved ones is nice and you're incorrect. The spouse has a background of becoming fake quotes and using the police and courts against her enemy. you ought to not MAKE me babysit any toddler of hers, not to point an 8 twelve months previous female!! you purely suggested older kinfolk on your question. Older and WISER kinfolk, i'm guessing. do not make your drama your loved ones's drama. somebody must be left outdoors the penal complex to bail individuals out.

Answer 6

Perhaps it's how you're doing it. Oftentimes people feel a need to clarify their position when they're apologizing, and that's just going to start the discussion up again.

The only safe thing to say, until things cool down, is "I'm sorry." Period.

Answer 7

Probably because of the way you're apologizing. Try saying "That argument was my fault. I'm sorry." Then don't say anything else about it -- no explanation, no observations, etc. That will be better.

Answer 8

I know I sometimes bring up what I was mad about again in apologizing or they bring something up and the apology is forgotten. Best thing is to use "I" statements. I feel angry when this happens (rather than saying "you are" or "you did").

Answer 9

It depends on how you apologize. It needs to be sincere, you need to acknowledge why you did what you did, and you need to tell them that it won't happen again.

Then, make sure that it doesn't happen again.

.

Answer 10

Hey!Your Avata looks like mine!