Did I step over the line?

Question

There is a little boy in my son's kindergarten class who is very agressive - he is always punching my son, throwing him to the ground & punching him, he even pulls my son's pants off; takes my son's gloves and hat and throws them high up into a tree They are always laughing, the other kids mom says "don't they play nicely together". I don't care for that form of play, its my son at the receiving end. She never says anything to her son about his behaviour. The other day, she wasn't around, and her son was wailing on my kid, I grabbed his arm and said to him quite sternly, "DON'T..... TOUCH..... MY..... SON". He backed off & now his mother gives me dirty looks & won't talk to me anymore. Was I wrong?

Answer 1

You did NOT assault that child. The first responder is an idiot.

You did absolutely the right thing. What would happen if that kid seriously injured your child. The mom didn't care on cent about the abuse her son was inflicting on your child. I would have done the same thing if my son was that age.

And who cares about the mom. If she ever says anything to you just tell her you got tired of her son behaving like an abusive brat and her doing nothing about it.

Kudos to you mom!!!!!

Answer 2

Normally I would say you shouldn't have touched someone else's child, but this was clearly a case where you needed to restrain him from hurting your son any further. It would be a good idea to involve the teacher in the situation, so she can watch for interactions at school between the two boys. A conference with both you & the other mother (no boys) with the teacher can sort out any confusion between the two of you. The boy's behavior is completely unacceptable, and if she's just standing by watching, and YOU are just standing by waiting for her to do something, your son is the one losing here.

She needs to know that you won't stand for it, the teacher won't stand for it, and if it continues, you WILL discipline her son in her stead, since she can't seem to be bothered with it. (By discipline I mean verbally telling the child to STOP, and sending them to the teacher if they don't listen.) Avoid laying hands on the child again, though, if at all possible. Obviously an outright assault of the kind you already interrupted may need for him to be physically removed from your child. The teacher should do this if they are at school, as she has been trained about legally acceptable ways to break up fights. But if your son is getting hurt, do what you need to do to stop the boy. If the mother tries to press charges, you will have the reasoning that you were protecting your child from further harm. How else could you get him off without touching, if he's not listening to your directives?

Good luck, this is a frustrating problem for too many parents out there, all due to those lousy parents out there who secretly like to think that their kid is stronger, braver, *whatever*, than everyone else's. What they really are, is BULLIES.

Answer 3

You go girl!! If his mom won't say anything, you needed to. You can't just stand by and let your son get picked on. The other kid may not have even known he was doing anything wrong. Maybe now he'll think before he "plays" with other kids like that. You just embarrassed her because you did what she should have done. Make sure to have a talk with your son and help him learn what HE can do to avoid getting picked on in the future. Like speaking up and saying he does not like what they are doing or tell a teacher.

Answer 4

Heck no. You can't just stand there and let some other kid beat up your son. Touching him might not of been a good idea in this day and age, but you were just protecting your boy. I wouldn't have let them play together at all, though, once I realized the other boy was too rough. Don't worry about it, you didn't hurt the kid and now he's leaving yours alone.

Answer 5

YOU GO SISTER!! When she gives you the next dirty look march up to her and tell her to tone her dirty looks down becuase youo don't much appreciate them, and you sure as heck don't appreciate the fact that her son has been throwing around your kid, and if it happens again...IF IT HAPPENS again, she will be very very sorry.

I would also take what you have been seeing to the principal of the school, let him/her know what has been happening to your child, and that his parent doesnt seem to think that it is a very big deal.

As far as grabbing his arm, you were only stopping him from hitting your kid again...you didn't do anything wrong there.

Answer 6

Probably yes. But, I would have done the same thing! I'd talk to the teacher about it and you'll probably find that she feels this kid is aggressive also. On the other hand, - life is full of bullies. Possibly you can use this situation to help teach your son how to or not to treat others. Good luck.

Answer 7

I can't see how that is wrong. I think you had every right to do that because from the sound of it the teachers wouldn't do anything and the mother of the boy wouldn't do anything to stop this kind of behavior and if you talked to the teachers about it and nothing was done then I think you have every right because that's your son getting hurt and it's just not right for them to let things like that happen at school.

Answer 8

The blogbaba considers your behavior justified, if not entirely legal. The issue of criminal behavior among minors is a difficult one, and official authorities are inadequate to deal with the problem. Just from a personal standpoint I believe you may have actually benifited the young delinquent, quite possibly prevented future devient behavior on his part and done him and society a great service. I applaud your efforts in correcting potentially serious difficulty with the child, even if he continues in his behavior, you did alter it in a positive manner without any harm to the child. A parent cannot be expected to ignore abuse to their own child, even if the source of the abuse is another child.

No, you in fact did right, by both your own and the other child.
The parent may be uncomfortable with harsh words, but we still have freedom of speech, and you said nothing threatening, even if your tone and volume were slightly louder than normal.

You were not wrong, you handled the situation better than most would have.

Answer 9

let me start by saying i have three kids between 7 and 25 three of them are boys , all athletic and aggressive. this behavior which is basically a form of bullying is not appropriate and should not be tolerated. although i believe most kids should learn how to fight their own battles sometimes it is good to let the bullying kids parent know that you feel that their kid is a bully,it might open their eyes because i think parents with young kids are oblivious as to how their kids are really behaving.get your kid into wrestling it will toughen him up and give him confidence , keep him active in sports and as many activities as you can all this will give him more self confidence.but i belive yor actions were appropriate, dont allow yor own flesh and blood be abused by anyone!teach him to fight back!!!!

Answer 10

I would say that you stepped over a line when you grabbed his arm. If he was my kid and you had done that I would have given you a piece of my mind. Having said that, his mother should have done something about his behavior a long time ago. Just curious but was anything ever said to his teacher about this behavior, she would have been in a better position to approach the boy about it than you were.