I need a SUPERNANNY!!! PLEASE HELP!!!?

Question

I have 3 children. 2 with ADHD and 1 3 yr old. I am a 27yr old single mom. Any suggestions on how to stop the fighting, hitting, and lieing on eachother? THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

1. Early bedtimes for plenty of sleep-- at least 10 hrs. for the older two, 11-12 for the 3 y/o.

2. Consistent routines for all. Dinner at the same time every evening, homework, bath, bedtime routine. In the morning, up, dressed, breakfast, chores, and out the door (in whatever order works best for you).

3. Consistent consequences for poor behavior. Lying/tattling for petty stuff at my house means the liar/tattler gets in trouble. "He called me stupid!" will probably mean the tattler loses a privilege. Fighting over a toy/game/activity will likely mean BOTH (or all) children lose that privilege until they learn to get along. Hitting or aggressive behavior is a no-warning offense. EVERY TIME they must have the same consequence. That's why grounding doesn't work well-- it's a fairly vague punishment to add days or weeks to a grounding that's already in effect, you know? Whether you choose a Time-out or a spanking, stick with it EVERY TIME.

4. More exercise. Sports, walking the dog, a trip to the park after school every day, whatever it takes to get these kids' energy a little more spent. School recess and PE are a joke these days. My non-ADD/ADHD kids don't get enough exercise to keep them from going wild when they get home! Definitely get them outside more, and for days when they can't go out, play Simon Says or something with lots of jumping jacks, hopping, and such. You will get some exercise, too, and everyone will have a great time together! They don't have to know that you're doing it to help wear them out... ;)

You have lots of great suggestions here, but it all boils down to YOU putting the effort into correcting their behavior EVERY TIME. It's a LOT of work-- you will be doing nothing but constantly parenting these children for weeks until they learn/accept that you are not settling for it any more. After you get them in line, though, things will be so much easier and run so much more smoothly! You will be amazed that you ever lived like you did before.

Supernanny probably isn't coming to your house to help you solve all of your problems, but you CAN do this all by yourself! Be firm, be resolved; set limits and enforce them militantly. And do make an extra effort to catch them doing good, and praise them for it. This is just as important as anything else above.

Good luck! You are going to do a fantastic job!

Answer 2

All Children and Children with ADHD need a lot of Structure, Boundries and cosequences for negative behaviors. and praises when they a getting along well. If you hit your brother then you loose a privledge. may it be a the game system, 30 min of a favorite tv show. Phone time. if it becomes real bad maybe a upcoming play time with friends. Your 13 year old should know the difference beteween right and wrong. You'll need to clamp down on his behavior before he really becomes out of control teenager and doesn't respect you. Please don't treat him like a the younger children that doesn't help the situation any. Remember to give him limited freedom from the younger kids. Alone time will help him not to become annoyed with the younger children. In turn you should see some improvement. Tell the other children not to bother him during his alone time. .

Answer 3

I know exactly where you're coming from. I have three boys ( 8, 6 & 2) the middle who is ADHD. The whole sitting in the corner thing worked, but only for a limited time. I decided to become creative. I got a chart and put their names on it and got a whole bunch of stickers. Everytime i caught one of them fighting or hitting i took away an electronic or some kind of toy. i know my boys are big on the gameboys and stuff, but whatever your kids are into, take it away and put it somewhere where they can see it but can't reach it. In order to get that toy back, they needed to get 5 stickers, 1 sticker for every time they helped one of their brothers. At first this didnt work and i went as far as taking almost all of their toys and unplugging all the televisions in the house. They got it then that i was serious and it took them a good week and a half or so to get all their toys back. The boys rarely do anything to eachother now. If you decide to do this, make sure to follow through or they'll see right through you. Good luck!

Answer 4

I don't know if this is your situation but the only time I go crazy with my boys is if were in the house alot and they don't run that energy off. Trying taking them outside to the park to play and run off as much energy as possible. Also be observant what are they fighting about? Try and eliminate what they are fighting about. Hittting, I'm not going to act like a saint and act like my children don't hit eachother, remember to choose your battles wisely. I don't interfere with every argument or hitting match with my boys but you have to step in at times. Tattle telling is so common with children, I have rules which some people may or may not agree with, only tattle if it's something serious is what I tell my kids like an emegency, somebody's bleeding, or not breathing. Lying on eachother, get creative my kids think I have a hidden camera in the house so I get the truth all the time if I'm not sure who's telling the truth. First off lying is a ground rule that isn't tollerated in my house, and will act on it everytime staying very consistent with the consequences of lying. Also I know that you just can't tell everytime so that's when I tell them that I'm going upstairs to press rewind on the video tape and I will see who did it. Before I go upstairs I give each child a chance to tell the truth and if they don't they know the consequences for lying. By the way i'm 27 years old too I know times can get stressful.

Answer 5

I think the best way to teach children anything is by rewards. Perhaps you could write up a chart to put on the fridge and give each child a sticker when they do something right. When a child collects a certain amount of stickers they will be rewarded. Even with something little. I think persistance is nessacary, be firm, even when it is so much easier to give in. They will soon learn that doing the right thing benefits them. As well as you.

Answer 6

Wow, that's a tall order, but I can give you one suggestion, I used it to get my son to stop arguing about bedtime.
For every minute I spend dealing with him when it's bed time (you know the antics, arguing about what time his friends go to bed, dragging his feet in the bathroom, not getting pj's on right away, playing in bed, etc.) I send him to bed that much earlier the next night.

The other suggestion I have for you is be consistent. Just start over, make a list of rules, explain consequences, and tell them there's a new sheriff in town, and start that moment enforcing the new laws. It will be a few days of misery, but if you are miserable now, you owe it to yourself to try a different tactic.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

Unfortunatlly being a single mom and them being able to do the things they do already it will be difficult to curve the behavior because they think they can get away with it with you. I am sure it will be difficult but you need to put your foot down. Take away favorite toys for an extended period of time, I like to think it is still ok to spank kids, take TV privilages away, etc. I am not sure what you have tried so far. Good luck

Answer 8

You need to find a church 1st of all that you can get involved with that does mommy day out. that way you have some time for yourself. trey to get the ADHD ones in some type of sport that they wear themselves out at from practice. I have ADHD and I remember exercising till i was exhausted to calm down. something productive like soccer, baseball, football, softball etc. try it, it may go you wonder and give you a little time with the youngest

Answer 9

You and the father need to come up with a plan to parent these children.
If you choose not to involve the children's father(s) then maybe it is best that you move back in with your own parents. You could use the support. The kids need love, attention, discipline and time with caring adults.
Good Luck.

Answer 10

Dont you ever watch supernanny? Stop letting them run all over you and make a naughty spot...keep them there till they stop lol...and be serious not angry...kids like it when your angry they thinks its a game, so dont feed that. Be confident, and consistent. Also give them some natural sedatives, like turkey ect...to calm thier asses down. Meletonin works too...crush that up and give it to them...they will sleep like angels..(oh and melatonin is something your body creates natrually, getting extra melatonin wil not hurt them.)