Imagine that you dated someone for 9 months. He broke up with you once because he thought you cheated. You worked it out. You had other issues and by the time he broke up with you again, because he again thought you were cheating, you didn't care anymore and were glad to be done with it.
Three weeks later there is another guy that you have known for a while and you like him very much. He likes you very much. You told him about your previous relationship and all of a sudden he is getting cold feet because he feels that you might be on the rebound and this scares him. You understand, but at the same time, you feel that you are not on the rebound and you don't want to lose this guy, because he is one of the most amazing people you have ever met.
What do you do? Is it possible to be over a nine month relationship so quickly?
2007-03-07 07:52:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also, I am an adult in my thirties, not a teenager.
2007-03-07 07:56:15 · update #1
I did NOT cheat, I was accused of it.
2007-03-07 07:57:01 · update #2
it takes some people their whole lives. and some people no time at all. it sounds like you were over it before it even ended.
2007-03-07 07:56:49 · answer #1 · answered by sleepless in irvine 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I do not like the phrase, "Get Over." Truthfully, I think that we just learn to accept the situation for what it is. Accept the feelings, and accept the fact that it just didn't work out.
Maybe you have accepted that that 9 month relationship just didn't work out. So there's nothing wrong with that.
Now as far as rebound goes, I say you that you give yourself some time. This way that you can prove to this new guy that you are in it for the long hall and he isn't just some rebound.
Hopefully that helps!
--Vae
2007-03-07 07:59:20 · answer #2 · answered by Nevaeh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe not right away, but people try to move on in life. That's all you can do sometimes. Sounds like he has moved on now and you need to as well. Loving someone isn't always enough. Some people seem to bring out the worst in each other, including insecurity, constant fighting and hurt, which you know isn't good for anyone. Once someone is with someone else you have to respect that relationship and don't cheat. Respect it the way you would want your relationships respected.
2007-03-07 07:57:30 · answer #3 · answered by Paul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is. Everyone is different. A meaningful relationship can take a long time to get over, but from the sounds of it this one was more hurtful and the guy was very needy and jelous. Just make sure you are not denying your feelings and give yourself time to sort things out. Weird though, don't guys like girls on the rebound?
2007-03-07 07:57:33 · answer #4 · answered by smileforawile 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got to the stage in a long term relationship where i didnt care either, and i still dont. Meeting a new guy really helped me to forget about it! Only you truly know if you still love your ex, but the fact that you know you dont want to lose this new guy shows you have some feelings for him, so you should tell him! Tell him how amazing you think he is and that you dont want to lose him but take it slowly so nobody gets hurt. If this guy really likes you he will stick around to find out.
2007-03-07 08:01:46 · answer #5 · answered by armygirl613 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. if the relationship was failing for a long time anyway.. it seems that you were preparing yourself for the end of it and have been in the process of getting over it for a while. i just broke up with a guy i was with for two years and honestly felt as i loved at one point in time. i didn't/don't feel bad at all after two weeks because we had problems for a long time and broke up a few times, even.
you should explain to this new guy that your relationship with him is hardly a rebound as your last relationship had been over long before you broke up.
2007-03-07 08:00:04 · answer #6 · answered by nelo c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone makes mistakes, so put the last relationship down as a mistake and move on, if this particular young man you like is showing interest then show interest back, if he's a nice guy and you have some thing in common, he'll want to get to know you more and make his own mind up without any help from anyone
2007-03-07 08:00:03 · answer #7 · answered by gone! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you that after 7 years I am not over my boyfriend we broke up 3 months ago we were together for 7 years and I am so not over him I am trying everything in power to get back together with him... I know there is a way to fix us... In your case if your boyfriend really loves you he will back to you... That is if you want him back... If not then you would move on and find someone else.. It is possible to be over someone after 9 months but if you still have feelings for him the one you were with for 9 months then your not going to heal its going to take time just as its going to take time for me to heal but I dont think I need to heal cause I am sure we will end up back together... You need to think about what it is that you want... I wouldnt try to find someone so quickly though I am not...
2007-03-07 08:10:02 · answer #8 · answered by starrynightbreeze2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nine months is a short, but long time to spend with someone. We can share quite a bit in nine months time. If you try to force him out of your mind......, it will never happen, you will have an on going battle in your head and no man will be comfortable with you. Why dont you just hang easy and give it time before you start dating again
2007-03-07 07:58:02 · answer #9 · answered by georgia k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust me. u can be over a 60year relationship in a matter of days. if u didnt really feel something for the other person. tell the guy that all u want from him is to trust u. and reasure him that u think he is an amazing guy
2007-03-07 08:04:31 · answer #10 · answered by axis-s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible, because people change and you fall out of love with them. Just tell him that he's not a rebound, and that you really do want to be with him. Hopefully, he will understand.
Good luck
2007-03-07 07:57:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋