How do i tell a co worker i do not want them to attend my wedding?

Question

I work in a smaller office maybe 30 people max. There is one lady in my office I absolutley cannot stand. For example, when I told her about my engagement, she said "now why would you go and do a thing like that?!" Shes just flat out rude. But im going to be passing around a guest list to find out who all from work is going to attend and get addresses etc. But I DO NOT want her to go. What am I supposed to say when the list gets to her? Just say sorry , I don't want you to go? Or just "lose" her invitation in the mail? I don't know.

Okay, maybe i should clarify. She is the only one in my office that i have a problem with. And im civil to her because of the fact that i work with her. our office is very close we will go out together on weekends, or have bbq's etc. Shes the ype of person who will confront me because it will get back to her about invites being mailed and her not recieving one.

Answer 1

I don't think you should pass around a guest list. You should personally go to each person you want to attend and get their address. That way you can avoid talking to her and having to give her reason for why she isn't invited.

Answer 2

First off I would not do the whole guest list at work thing I would just give invites to the people you want to attend if this person has a problem with this then just be honest tell her something like you can only afford so many peole and since she made that wise crack you felt she wouldn't care. Honesty just works or be blunt tell her that you do not wish for her to be at your wedding because she is a stuck up person that you cannot stand period.

Remember this is your day invite the people you like being around why would you invite someone that drives you nuts anyways. Lose the guest list and hand out personal invitations that is my suggestion. Congrats on your big day and have fun if all works out you do this day one time for life.

God Bless and Happy Wishes

Answer 3

Don't send around a list. What I did was sent an email to only those I wanted to come to obtain their mailing address so I could send invitations to their home (don't pass around invites at work). I put everyone on the bcc line so that no one knew who got the email. That way, if someone didn't get invited (and there are those here who didn't) they won't just show up because they know the details. Granted, no matter what you do people will talk and she'll find out she wasn't invited....but so what. It's your wedding, invite or not invite whomever you want. A wedding is supposed to be a happy occasion, why would you want an ole sour puss who you don't like there to ruin your day? But also be prepared to get snubbed by her (or some other uninvited coworker) and just don't let it bother you. As the saying goes, you can't please all of the people all of the time. Congrats and good luck.

Answer 4

You should send an e-mail from your personal account to those from whom you need addresses for invitations. Ask those from work to keep it confidential as the guest list is small and not everyone from work is invited.

If you are friends with the office manager or the HR person at work, you could ask that person to get the addresses of those you would like to invite.

I would NOT send around a guest list at work. This only opens up the topic for discussion at work. If you are inviting EVERY person in your office, except her, then please reconsider. This could burn more bridges than you would like and it might even change her rude attitude if she were invited. Good luck and Best wishes.

Answer 5

Here's my experience:
A fellow nurse I worked with decided that she would just pass out invitations to coworkers rather than send them in the mail since she sees them just about every day. I, however, was not on her guest list. She arrives to the floor and passes out invitations to everyone *except* me, all the while shooting glances at me hoping that I didn't notice what she was doing. I had never really gotten along with this nurse, and would not have attended the wedding even if I had been invited. The way she went about it was tacky, and she could have eased some worry about not inviting me if she would have taken a little more time to plan it through.
What I would have done:
I would go to each person personally and ask for their contact info. I also would send the invitations through the mail rather than passing them out at work, it's just more proper.

Hopefully things work out for you like they did for the nurse I worked with...she didn't want me there, and I didn't want to go! Don't try to hide what you are doing, just go about it in an organized manner, and you should get the guest list you want!

Answer 6

Sorry, but if you are making a big deal about this in your office and being so tacky as to pass around lists, you really need to invite her. It would be terrible if you didn't.

Your wedding needs to be handled outside of the office. Passing around lists (ugh!) and discussing it in the office is inappropriate.

Now that you've let the cat out of the bag and gotten everyone involved, you have to do what's right. That is, unless you want to make her a permanent enemy - rightfully so. What do you expect to happen when she finds out she's the ONLY one who wasn't invited? What would *you* say?

So, if you dno't want to invite her, stop ALL discussions of your engagement and wedding at work. DO NOT pass around any type of "list". Contact each person individually and get their information. But remember, word WILL get back to her that she's the only one not invited, should you choose to invite everyone. And *YOU* will have to deal with that each and every day.

Answer 7

OK--you have got yourself in areal pickle here because you've backed yourself into a corner from which you can't escape without being rude.
Is it possible to not pass around a "list" and instead get a head count by going and asking each person instead? This will keep her from being invited because you don't go and ask her if she's going.
Also, you might want to start complaining now about how small your budget is, how the space is so small and you can't invite as many people as you would like. Maybe then she won't feel slighted that she is not going.
However, you are inviting some people from work but not everyone, and that is eventually going to get back to her and she will wonder why she is the only one not invited. I'm sorry, but that's rude and there's no way around it. The best you can do is act like its not intentional or personal, but justa limitation of space and hope she's not offended.

Answer 8

What I did, was rather than passing a guest list around, I asked people at work individually for their addresses. Do you have a list of phone numbers for the employees you could use? That might make it a little easier. If she balks at you when she doesn't receive an invitation (if she's that rude), simply state that you didn't think she'd be the least bit interested in attending your wedding, since she thought the engagement was such a lousy idea. I'm sure that will shut her up! Or, you could always just invite her. Good luck!

Answer 9

What is best is to pass a list around requesting address information only. Do not ask for an RSVP. This can be requested on your Invitations. Mail Invitations to those you would like to attend and Announcements to those you do not want to attend, or cannot afford to attend. Remember, guests are an expense. Announcements are courteous and do not require any action on the part of the recipient. They may choose to purchase a gift for you but are not required.

Answer 10

Spend the time to collect mail addresses for invitations. Most you might be able to find online or from a phone book. If you're not sure about a person's address, then ask them quietly and in person.

Don't send a list for free circulation around the office.

Answer 11

FIRST OF ALL , I WOULD just be very friendly so as to keep your job especially if she is over you and if not just you won't cause between you and her later on down the road. I would suggest trying to let her down easy by saying i can only invite a few of my friends and my fiance too so... i wanted to invite those that i am really close to hear at work not to say that i don't like you or nothing but because you can only invite so many to this wedding and have a special few you wanted to ask, and maybe even do what this other guy here below me is saying INVITE ,FOLKS WITHOUT BEING SO PUBLIC ABOUT IT THAT WAY YOU WON'T RISK HURTING THIS LADYS FEELINGS. YOU SHOULD TRY TO INCLUDE HER FOR THE REHEARSAL, before the actual wedding !!! HEY CONGRATS ON THE WEDDING THERE. HOPE YOU WILL BE HAPPY ,AGAIN JUST BE KIND OK .