I also would like to learn about how Aaron's rod turned into a snake and ate Pharaoh's servants' snakes.
Church science holds the key to many such mysteries, if I'm not mistaken...
Question: Anybody know how to get a degree in church science, and how long it takes?
I shall confound the atheists!
2007-03-07 07:31:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
We, the elders of the Church of The Seventh Day Opportunists, are currently enrolling students in various courses of Church Science - leading up to a Disassociated certificate, a chaste-bachelor's degree or even a PhD.("Poof! Here's the Deity") in advanced Creationism, Faith Healing and Creative Reality Evasion.
And you are on the right track. Not only will you be able to prove how the sun stood still, but you will also learn the secret of how our spherical planet had four corners, how to load more than a million species of nematodes into an Ark, the finer points of living inside a whale, and many, many other mysteries that empirical scientists are ignoring at the risk of their souls.
By they way, we have an easy payment plan. Keep in mind that we are in the end-times and it's silly to plan too much ahead.
2007-03-07 07:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by JAT 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ah yes, church science. The reason those stories are mysteries is that they are myths. No science can prove it if it didn't happen. A phrase like church science implys that the church and science are somehow partners, when the reality is that the fathers of modern religion have traditionally forgone scientific proofs because they preferred the power their myths gave them over people. While the study of the church can give you insight into why these stories are important to faith, it will not use science to do so. Nor will it use science to prove that a rod turned into a snake. I mean come on people, in this day and age are we really going to believe that a stick was somehow magically morphed intoa living breathing snake? Nah.
2007-03-07 15:40:11 · answer #2 · answered by imnotachickenyoureaturkey 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You just have to find a school that teaches "church science". You would probably have to learn other things too. I would stick to the other things for a while. You don't seem to be ready for the serious work of God. ATM.
2007-03-07 15:34:50 · answer #3 · answered by great gig in the sky 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get a degree in Art.
2007-03-07 15:34:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask Kent Hovind, Doctor Dino. He has all sorts of made up degrees from different unaccredited schools.
http://www.drdino.com/
2007-03-07 15:44:52 · answer #5 · answered by MishMash [I am not one of your fans] 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tons of colleges offer a 4 yr degree just like any other college does.
let alone, colleges and schools as we know them today were founded by bible studies.
2007-03-07 15:39:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could I just state jokingly, knowing your joking of course,
that speaking for the atheists, o no! I'm shaking in my boots.
2007-03-07 15:44:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you really think this worth the efforts then you need serious help my friend. I suggest you seek help about your career
2007-03-07 15:35:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What an excellent idea !
It can't take more than a minute or two and a few bucks to get one
I'd love to hear how he did that !!
2007-03-07 15:34:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know, God is not really up to miracles. We make it so important. We want to focus on miracles rather than the precious gift god always give to us -
2007-03-07 15:35:38 · answer #10 · answered by The Catalyst 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋