One time when I was home visiting my folks, my mom asked me to set the table for dinner. I opened the refrigerator and taped to the inside of the door was a risque picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built, but scantily-clad young woman.
"Mom, what's this?" I asked.
"Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to over-eat," she answered.
"Is it working?" I asked.
"Yes and no," she explained. "I've lost 15 pounds, but your dad has gained 20!"
2007-03-07 07:06:13 · 15 answers · asked by Mary 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
lol..it is really funny..ha ha ha ha..great joke..thanks for the laugh
2007-03-07 07:43:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good eating joke:
Try mine:
I like cooking and eating chicken. I like fish too, but chicken is my favorite.
In the freezer, I have chicken wings, chicken thighs, chicken breasts, and chicken tenders. Somewhere in the back of the freezer is a whole frozen chicken. And I think, but can’t find it, chicken livers too.
I know that I would not have to buy any chicken for at least 3 months. I really think, deep down, that I am saving the chicken just in case the FDA finds a way to recall all chicken.
So what do I do? I buy a Cornish hen, marinate it in brown sugar, salt, and black pepper and smoke it in my BBQ.
But that’s not the story.
I woke up this morning (thank you very much, Jesus) and felt something tickling the back of my neck. I reach back and picked up a few feathers. I thought that the feathers came from my pillow. It is very old. My Mom gave it to me when I was two. I won’t throw it away. After all, it is my “Hugger”.
Later that day I went to my Barber in Sacramento. I could see him in the mirror. He had a strange look on his face. I thought maybe I was getting more warts on my beautiful body!
He asks me: “Bob, are you eating a lot of chicken?” I tell him that I cook and eat chicken 4 or five times a week. He tells me: “You better stop...feathers are growing on the back of your neck!”
I asked Galento (he is supposed to be my Guardian Angel) what the heck are you going to throw at me next? He tells me: “ You haven’t seen anything yet. If you don’t want the feathers, start eating more fish and you will start seeing scales. If you continue to eat chicken...I may turn your big nose into a Beak”.
Thanks a lot Galento! I guess that I will have to start eating lots of spinach. But, I’m thinking, that he is thinking, “Popeye”!
The "Sunshine Man"
2007-03-07 08:29:06 · answer #2 · answered by bob P11 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ha Ha! Funny! 10/10!
2007-03-07 12:25:55 · answer #3 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two men were stupid enough to be walking through Central Park late one night and saw four toughs coming toward them. "This looks bad" said one "I think we're going to get robbed". "You're right" said the other, "by the way here's the $500 I owe you
2007-03-07 10:04:41 · answer #4 · answered by Buck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cute!
2007-03-07 07:13:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
BUT he has spilt loads of weird liquid too!
2007-03-07 07:12:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's funny :)
2007-03-07 07:23:53 · answer #7 · answered by skibunny402 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was lovely!
2007-03-07 08:10:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
..thats a good one.....or he could have ended up an alcoholic...
2007-03-07 07:22:44 · answer #9 · answered by chillie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha ha ha ha he he he he he funny
2007-03-07 07:34:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋