I'm being bullied and dont know what to do!?

Question

I'm being bullied at school. It's all because im "supposedly" gay, even though im not. Although i act it. It doesnt mean i am.
I get the **** taken out of me every day by some person. Sometimes the same people, sometimes people ive never spoken to before. I go to a school where doing anything unlike what everyone else is doing is not accepted. So you end up with a bunch of chavs that all talk the same, walk the same etc.
I have never considered it actual bullying but it sometimes gets to the point where ill sit in class and not work and just think about it and i dont want it to end up affecting my work as i am doing GCSE's at the minute. I have no self confidence and i can never pluck up the courage to tell my head of year.
Please no simple minded answers like "Dry your eyes" or "Punch them in the balls"

Answer 1

It will help if you can speak to someone about it, keeping it inside is not doing you any good, have you told your parents. They may not understand, but emotionally you are going through hell, and if you don't talk about it, you could have problems, not just with you GCSE but throughout you life. Don't bottle up, please talk to someone.

You are going to grow up into a lovely young man, you are sensitive, you sound a bit like my son, fortunately my son didn't have to go through what you are going through, his friends and fellow pupils at school accepted his sensitivity.

All I can repeat, is please speak to someone, you are nearly there as you are asking others to give you advise, speak to your parents and your teachers if you can, please don't bottle this inside you. You are being emotionally bullied, and this will take longer to recover from than physical bullying, believe me, I suffer both as a child, and I still feel hatred to the person who emotionally bullied me, because I never talked about it.

Good luck with your GCSE's and speaking to someone.

Answer 2

Sorry to hear that you are being bullied, I've been there and it is very hurtful.

There is lots of information about dealing with bullying at school at Supportline. There are also lots of links to organisations who can help. Why not have a read through the article here: http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/bullyingSchool.php

Supportline also has an article on improving self-esteem, which might help. The article is here: http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/selfesteem.php

There is a free online Self-Confidence course that may be of interest to you here: http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/

I cannot really advise you on how to cope with the bullying - I got through it the only way I could which was to ignore everything that was going on around and get my head down. Your GCSE's are very important, and if you are having difficulty concentrating as the bullying is affecting you, then you do need to speak up. You don't need to talk to the head of year, you can talk to ANY teacher, you can even write a letter to a teacher. It doesn't mean much saying that it will pass, and I know how annoyed I used to get when people said that. I just want to make sure you know that in the 'adult' world, things are much better for us that think for ourselves and do our own thing.

You could also consider getting a self-help book from the library - there are loads out there. One I found helpful was 'Feel the fear and do it anyway'. Most libraries have this book.

If your self-confidence is really bothering you, you can talk to your doctor about therapy or cognitive behaviour therapy. The doctor is there to help you, and they can recommend lots of support groups and self help groups in your area. Low self esteem is a big problem, and it takes a lot of hard work to overcome, but it is possible. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is very good - its more than 'empty positive thinking', it teachs you to analyse your thoughts and challenge those thoughts that are distorted and wrong.

Hope some of this helps, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to email me.

Answer 3

You know what? I went through the exact same crap when I was in High School. People called me gay and I was not and am not gay. I look back towards my High School years as a big game. That's all it is. I know it's hard. Now, a lovely wife and four beautiful children later and lots of friends from church, I see how evil and unkind people can be. My only advice to you would be to ask your parents about changing schools or perhaps look into home schooling or independant study. You shouldn't have to put up with that crap. A lot of this junk kids are taught in the home...I teach my children to be kind to everyone and that I better not see anything to the contrary...whether they are fat, ugly, weird, whatever, they are to treat all people as a beloved son or daughter of God and deserve to be loved. I want you to know, my friend, that you have a Heavenly Father that loves you. Take some time with Him. He'll fill up that void that the world is putting in you. He'll take it away and make you feel whole and loved. Good luck my friend. I promise, it will get better. It did for me and I look back on those few short years as a somewhat of a joke, and yet a learning experience to ALWAYS be kind and loving to others.

Answer 4

I was bullied a lot in high school. Anyone who meets me now doesn't believe it but it's true. I attracted a lot of the bullying now that I look back. I used to be very confrontational and a smart mouth.Teenagers can be very cruel as well, so now that I'm 32 and those days are far gone, my suggestion is to be low key. I would ask your parents to help you switch schools so you can get a fresh start and adopt a new attitude. That worked for me, but we moved because my mom lost her job. We lived in Long Island and moved to Queens. When we moved to Queens, I was so low key that I don't think anyone from that high school even knows me. I only had one friend and tried to keep to myself as much as possible. I hate to say this, but there has to be something you're doing that is attracting this attention.

Answer 5

Tell someone about it. If it keeps up it's harassment. That's when you can get the police involved. They may pick at you and say things like you're for telling someone, but that makes you the bigger person in this kind of situation. No kid should ever have to stand for being bullied. Everyone is their own person. I hope everything works out for you. Be strong and keep your head up!

Answer 6

Sorry you are having such a hard time but i think your problem is YOU are an individual , and obviously stand out from the "Chavs" you describe, I hope you can continue to carry on being the individual you are . Be strong, and if you feel you need to talk to someone then a parent is the first step. Take care...

Answer 7

You must tell someone, I know it's hard. Tell a teacher that you know you can talk to, talk to your parents. Reporting it is a big thing because you may worry about consequences from the bully, but you can't let them stop you leading a normal life.

They are cowards don't forget. And if you do this it will make you stronger.

Answer 8

Wether you are or not you still should'nt have to go through this. Even though you don't actual call it bullying, not physically anyway-but mentally it is. You should be able to have a tutor who you trust and you can talk to, who will listen and help sort it out descreetly. I hope it is resolved soon so your work is'nt effected

Answer 9

The people who are kicking your *** are afraid of you becoming more popupalr or powerful than them so they suppress you. They also don't know how to be themselves and are jealous and angry at you because you are yourself (evidently).
In order for it to stop and for you not to be anxious about it in the future, the next time it happens, whoop the guys *** but do it sooo bad that those who see it or hear of it would never think of doing it again. Don't kill them, just do it bad enough to get everyone to agree to lay off.

Answer 10

it is a form of bullying but your going to meet people in life who will treat you in this way,i no its easy to say don't bother what these narrow minded people think but as long as you no who you are does it really matter, but if it starts affecting your school work maybe you should talk to someone about it.