Alcohol vs Non alochol reception???

Question

My parents are 100% against alcohol at my wedding reception. My fianc`e's parents and majority of their family are expecting alcohol, but my father has said he won't attend if alcohol is present. I know it will also "offend" some of my guests, but alot of my fianc'e's family claims they won't come without alcoholic. I know if they really cared about him and I they would come anyway. But I also want him to have his family there...what do I do? Can I have two receptions on the same day? If so, how do i pull it off and what is served at each one...I am so lost..and It's causing a lot of drama.

Answer 1

Why are your parents against alcohol? Is it for religious reasons? Or are they recovering achoholics? If it is for religious reasons, your parents have to understand, that the guests do not feel the same way and if you don't want to have guests at your wedding, just mom and dad, that's whats going to happen. Unfortunately, most weddings and alcohol go hand in hand. It's your day, they have to compromise.

If it is because your father is a recovering alcholic then maybe the don't want it there at all because its too much of a temptation for him, a dangerous situation for him to be in, and that's why he won't (or can't attend). In which case, you might end up buying a ton of non-alcocholic wine, champagne and beer and just act like the bartenders screwed up.

Can you please put down in "additional comments" what the reason is, so I can help you better. Thanks.

Answer 2

I can't believe people actually said they wouldn't come if you don't serve alcohol. You should cancel the wedding and just elope.
Or, somebody can just sneak a bottle in and secretly pass it around, or hide the bottles in the bathroom and the alcoholics can discreetly excuse themselves throughout the reception, run to the bathroom and take a swig.
Or, they can just get drunk before the reception.
Or, just tell the alcoholics that there will be alcohol and don't have any, they might leave but at least you'll have gotten a gift.

And good luck because that sounds like a hell of a family (of drunkards) you're marrying into. Maybe you should have second thoughts, you're not even married yet and you're already having problems with the in-laws!!!

Answer 3

I know you have lots of responses to this, but I had to throw in my two cents. As far as the wedding... nobody has liquor at a wedding, so everyone can come to the actual wedding regardless of what you do at the reception.

If you chose to have alcohol at the reception, those that don't want alcohol don't have to come. You can't make that decision for them. As well, if you chose not to have alcohol, those that want alcohol and won't come unless there is any, don't have to come!

These people are all adults, and may say this now, but you never know what they will do when they actually have to make the final decision.

We had champagne for the toast, and no other alcohol. There was a bar in the restaurant where we had our reception and those that wanted alcohol could go to the bar and get a drink (it was close to our reception room). Some guests even ordered a bottle of wine for the table. We didn't want the extra expense of paying for alcohol.

Good luck, sweetie.

Answer 4

Why would it offend your parents and family so much to have alcohol there? Sorry, but serving alcohol is part of being a good host. I've only been to one non-alcoholic wedding, and frankly it wasn't as much fun. No one at all danced, for example. The whole tone of a non-alcoholic party is just different.

But I seriously doubt that his family won't come if it's non-alcoholic. And it's really a shame that your father would not attend his own daughter's wedding just because alcohol was present.

Elope. Both of your family's are being too demanding here. If they gripe about it, say "Well, why would we have a wedding that no one will come to?" Or, make the decision about alcohol that is right for you and your groom, and don't tell anybody else. Let them find out when they arrive.

Answer 5

I'm not sure where you're having your reception (or if you've picked a spot yet), but many places have rules about the posession/ consumption of alcohol. Our reception was held in a place where it wasn't allowed, and that ended the discussion. Many places will allow it, but only if you pay all kinds of large fees- uncorking fees per bottle, paying the house bartender, state liquor charges, additional charges for insurance against damages caused by drunken guests, etc., etc. It adds up quickly and can easily double the cost of a reception.

I'd go with an alcohol-free reception- it's safer, cheaper, and less likely to put people out. If people don't show because there's no booze, it just shows what's more important to them. I've heard too many stories of drunken wedding guests starting fights, doing embarassing things, and getting into traffic accidents to think it's a good way to celebrate. Would you want it on your heads that someone died because one of your guests didn't know when to quit?

If alcohol is so necessary to your in-laws, perhaps they could host a gathering at their place after the main reception and provide the adult beverages. That way, everyone can celebrate with you at your reception and those who want to celebrate with alcohol can do so as well- but you don't have to compromise your beliefs.

Answer 6

Taking out the alcohol will save a lot of money and will keep from offending some of the guests.
Tell the people that 'won't come if there's not alcohol' that they can bring a flask of something if they really can't stand a couple hours without the stuff.
sparkling cider does just fine for toasting.
Don't do two receptions it's your wedding and they shouldn't decide something that you don't want to do.
and you're right- if his family really cared about him they would come anyways. Tell them you don't want your big day ruined by drunk people falling around or singing dumb things.
Good luck and i'm sorry you're in this position, try to relax and enjoy your wedding.
God Bless

Answer 7

wow that is a problem, maybe you could have 2 receptions at the same time! Like book a venue that has an indoor and an outdoor location. Most people will drink, so make the larger area for those people...maybe you can even have a place on the RSVP to check off whether they will be drinking or not, so that you can arrange seating accordingly. Have signs indicating that "no alcohol beyond this point". And you can split your time between both areas. Relatives will still complain, so when they ask just say it has been taken care of, without more detail.

Answer 8

I think both of your families are being inconsiderate, it's your day and the last thing you both need is stress over the thought of one side of the family not coming and who to choose. I'm pissed and it's not even my wedding we are talking about! How dare they do that to you. At anyrate, there is unfortunately no easy answer. What you can do is count how many drinkers vs. non drinkers and let majority win and hope that which ever side loses will see how childish they are being and show up anyway. Here is another idea that just hit me, instead of having two receptions (which would be VERY expensive) tell the non drinkers that if they don't want to drink, then don't, they can go home after dinner and cake and then don't have drinks available until after dinner/cake (but do serve wine with dinner so that people can toast you, the non drinkers will just have to get over it) then after have the bar open for those who wish to stay and party. If that doesn't work, then you know what, it's their loss. If they can't see this is tormenting you and the most important thing is being there to support you, then maybe it's best they stay home. Take your husband and elope and go far away and have plenty of drinks if that's what you want. Good luck.

Answer 9

I say try and have a brunch, lunch or cake and punch reception earlier in the day when most guests wont be anxious to get drunk oon someone else's dime. If you want to be kind I say have some beer or wine- but keep out the strong alcohol.

if you are paying for the reception, have it your way. If your parents are, i say that you talk to them and let them know that you wont be having alcohol drinks per se, but you will be having beer and wine for the guests. If his parents are paying for it- let them cover the cost of the drinks.

Alcohol is a large cost, many people choose not to have it for that reason in general.

Me though? Well i wouldnt let someone else dictate what I can and cannot have at my wedding. You want everyone to enjoy themselves at your wedding and keep everyone happy. Have a cash bar and just offer the non alcohol drinks to everyone.

You father will always be your father- he cant get rid of you. I personally think that his main thing on your wedding day is that you are happy.

If someone doesnt like your decisions- oh well. Life does go on and they will get over it.

Answer 10

If you are paying for your own reception, then it is your decision. But if it is your parents paying for the wedding, then there shouldn't be any alcohol.

If you're paying for it yourself, then you might think about having the reception at a location that has 2 adjoining rooms. Have an open bar in one room, and no alcohol in the other.

This way both families are happy, and you are having one reception that meets with both parents' approval.