Ive been working in the Department as a secretary/admin for a year and I find this lecturer (whos very hot at 41 with kids) very attractive. There is definitely sexual chemistry between us. How should I approach him, that I just want sex from him? I know he finds me attractive by the way he gazes at me. Hes also quite a shy guy and very intelligent and articulate and hes leaving work in July.
I am a University graduate with a degree so Im not dumb and am fully aware of the repucussions. I cannot help nature - this attraction is really intense. I want this man so much (just one passionate night of sex). I would just like to know how to go about asking him....By the way - Im a Scorpio ;)
Hes leaving in a few months so shall I give him his present now?
2007-03-07 06:38:18 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If this is the married man you were on about last week, since you already have a boyfriend, I would say, once again, let it go.
No offense intended, but some things are just not worth it.
--That Cheeky Lad
2007-03-07 09:39:25 · answer #1 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You previously asked a question saying that the women at work don`t like you and don`t want to `go around` with you. Now you ask this question,( when you already know without asking us ) what the answer is. Do you think that the women at work know something about you that you don`t? Perhaps one day you will be married and have two or three children, and some smart *rse girl who works with your husband, decides that she would like to have him. When she does and you find out ( as you will) You will have your world shattered, you will want to die, you will have an ache inside of you that will never ever go away, this man you loved and trusted has had sex with a slapper and smashed the lives of you and your children, Your life will never be the same again,when trust goes in a marriage there is nothing left. You say you are intelligent, then act that way, and leave someone Else's husband alone.
2007-03-10 13:49:04 · answer #2 · answered by Social Science Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life IS too short.
Too short to blast away a marriage.
Too short to blast away a family.
Too short to blast away your own dignity.
This is called Temptation. And Temptation is not worth blasting away an entire family and yourself. It WILL fall back on you -- long and hard -- in the days and years ahead if you give in to it.
You may not be able to help your attraction, but you CAN help what you do about it. You may think this is "just sex," but when it comes to interferring with a married man with a family, there is no such thing as "just sex."
Give in and you're hurting generations of people. Be a woman of character and dignity, and you'll benefit for years. So will his family.
You say you're not dumb. OK. You say you know the repercussions. Do you really? Have you actually analyzed the situation and considered all of the possible results? Have you considered chaos theory? How about chemistry? Were you aware that the hormone released with intimate sexual contact actually creates a bond between partners that becomes extremely difficult to break -- like, in say, a few months from now? Is that the "present" you really want to give this guy? Or yourself?
Be "character smart," not just "book smart" on this one. Your decision will affect countless numbers of people's lives -- it's not just about you and your attraction.
2007-03-07 15:07:13 · answer #3 · answered by Susan C 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should read the Bible and see what God thinks about fornicators and adulterers. Adulteries a serious sin which in ancient Judah was punishable by death.
You say you are not dumb but you have failed to learn from 5000 years of human experience and the effect adultery had on others lives and even more so there relationship with God.
Davids affair with Bathsheba literally was one of main contributing factors in the evil of Solomon (Davids son) and the division of the 12 tribes of Judah from under 1 God...not to mention the severe pain and agony it brought about in Davids life...literally almost destroying him (if it wasn't for Nathan the prophet saving him) not to mention what that 1 affair did to generations of his children and his family and the lives lost in the other family due to davids selfishness. Yeah it happens like that almost everytime learn for yourself if you must. Then you will know why God takes adultery so seriously in the bible....well what do they say if you aren't smart enough to learn from the mistakes of others then you will be forced to learn the hard way. I just hope the mans family and children don't suffer horribly from your selfish actions, maybe even lose their father or mother because of the legal system. You will definitely get what you deserve and then if your still alive after it all
then you can remember these words i'm telling you and know the truth that results from a selfish act such as what you are planning.
"The wise learn from there own mistakes the truly wise learn from the mistakes of others."
2007-03-07 15:40:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grow up! Scratch that itch with someone else other than your married lecturer. Think about the man's wife and kids. Show some personal restraint and respect for them and yourself. What happens in the dark usually finds its way out into the light. One night can have serious and long lasting implications.
2007-03-07 15:22:50 · answer #5 · answered by born2run 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a 41 year man and if a 25 year old woman wanted sex with me I wouldn't quibble about the age difference. Go get him! (assuming he's already married of course)
2007-03-08 14:28:11 · answer #6 · answered by seamer100 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First tease him give him some peeks, then when your done driving him nuts just set him up for it. I had a employee do this to me, she started teasing me with short skirts and sexual questions and I was going home and thinking about it all night. After a few weeks of this she came over to drop off something and only had on a long T shirt . I invited her to look at and sit in my new truck I couldn't even make a legible conversation at that point.She had me so worked up I just took it, I was standing outside the truck and she was laying on the truck seat and her feet were on my shoulders, need I say more? She was younger and gave me a memory I will remember all the way to the grave. Maybe this will give you some ideas of what to do to make it special. And I'm Shy! so you have the control over this.
Have fun and good luck
2007-03-07 15:23:27 · answer #7 · answered by frosty62 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Let us say that you are married, and madly in love with your husband, and have no intention of ever cheating on him? How would you feel if someone came up to you and suggested having just a physical affair?
Or, how would you feel if someone appraoched your husband?
So before you act, put yourself in the other people shoes, and think about how your actions might affect them.
That should give you your answer on what to do and how to do it.
2007-03-07 14:45:06 · answer #8 · answered by elcydd01 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Getting involved, sexually, with someone who has kids is different than having a sexual fling with someone who is unattached. I'm sure at 41 he is looking more to settle down than to just have sex with someone who he works with.
2007-03-08 05:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its apparent that the attraction is mutual, then by all means let him know what you want. If he's not interested, he will say so. He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do.
You need to let him know up front that its going to be purely sexual and that it won't happen again. If he can live with that, then by all means have a ball!
There is definitely a difference between sex and love and some people know how to seperate those two. They are the ones who enjoy life to the fullest.
If things don't work out with him, call me and I'll help you out!!
2007-03-07 14:42:39 · answer #10 · answered by K B 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋