Pot Luck???

Question

How tacky is pot luck for your wedding reception? I don't have very much money as I'm paying for this wedding myself on one income as well as supporting two babies. Is it terribly tacky to ask guests to bring food if its a casual type affair and not traditional???

Answer 1

A friend of mine had a pot luck reception and on his invitation he put down "Instead of gifts were asking everyone to bring a dish to share after the ceremony.", both my mom and I thought it was a great idea!

Answer 2

That could go either way. Where I live, yes that would be considered extremely tacky. But I know down south and in the west, pot-luck type receptions are fairly common. Maybe the better thing to do is just have cake/punch/coffee. Guests may feel kind of "put off" with a wedding invitation in which they must prepare the food. Perhaps the whole "pot-luck" idea would go over better if you didn't call it a reception (as the word itself implies YOU will be supplying everything) and maybe call it a post wedding B-B-Q. Whatever it is you do, you must supply all serving pieces, plates, utensils, etc, as well as beverages, cake, and hopefully whatever the most expensive food item will be (i.e. the meats,seafood, whatever). Good luck to you!

Answer 3

You are going to hear some say it is tacky and you will hear some say it isnt. It really goes by how formal you want the wedding to be and what type of people will be attending.

I am all for the "family reunion" weddings where everyone brings a dish. I have seen people whose bridal party actually brought all of the food and had one big BBQ at the park. There was more than enough food and some of the family members brought some as well. At my upcoming wedding many of our family plans on bringing a dish to the rehearsal dinner (BBQ) because we have already covered the menu for the reception.

Some cultures do it normally- and no one thinks twice of it. My little sister got married years ago- her wedding food was a blend of everything from swedish meatballs to KFC chicken because everyone either brought a bottle to share or a dish. (she is African American).

If money is an issue- there are plenty of ways you can go about getting married and saving $$ in the process. Either search through YA for past posted questions or you can even email me- i have TONS of ways to save money so you can have the type wedding you want.

I say that while you dont have to make everything, at least try and have the cake and something to drink for your reception, and maybe take your few close friends and family out to dinner (or have a meal at an inlaws house)

Answer 4

Yes, it's terribly tacky. If you cant afford to have a party, then don't have one. Sorry, but in US culture, proper etiquette for receptions is to only have what you can afford - WITHOUT compromising guests standards. If that means you only invite 5 people, then that's what it means. I'd be mortified if anyone suggested I do this and I'd be apalled if I received a wedding invite
that said 'potluck'.

Instead, you can have a potluck party at another time. Do not label it as a wedding reception. You could even label it as a "one month anniversary potluck" or something similar.

But to me, potluck just reeks of a 7 year old's birthday party.

Answer 5

As you can see from all these answers, some people think it's tacky and others don't... and the same will go for your wedding guests. If you ask all your guests to bring a dish instead of a gift, it WILL look tacky.
As a very budget minded woman with a child and one income as well, my suggestion is talk to your mother/mother-in-law/appropriate relative and have them ask certain members of your family (say grandmothers, aunts, etc.) that like to cook if they would mind cooking some dishes in place of wedding gifts.
If that's not an option, I would suggest making a buffet table for your reception. There are lots of affordable options: veggie/cheese/fruit/cracker trays, meatballs, finger sandwiches, etc.

Answer 6

If your potluck involves a very small gathering (perhaps 30 of your closest family and friends), and the reception is at someone's house or backyard, then having a potluck is only a little bit tacky. Most people won't think twice about it. But make sure you provide the alcohol yourself.

But if you invite more than just your closest family and friends, then you're venturing into major tack. It's one thing to ask your grandmother to bring a dish; it's another to ask a coworker's girlfriend who doesn't know or care about you to do the same.

Answer 7

Why are you paying for it yourself on one income? If you mean one income as in HIS income, then okay but if you mean he's not doing anything and not working and you are planning and paying for the wedding AND taking care of two babies..I would suggest you forget the wedding for now until he gets off his butt and helps you. But to answer your question, if it's a backyard deal or a very casual event, I guess it would be ok to ask your "close" friends and family. But you are giving a wedding, they are your guests, they shouldn't be expected to pay for or bring their own dinner. It's a little tacky but if you handle it right (like say in lieu of gifts, please bring a covered dish as we just want to celebrate with you all) it could work. If you ask for a covered dish and expect a gift, I think that might be going a bit far... Good luck.

Answer 8

A wedding reception doesn't have to be a banquet. You should consider cold cut platters that you could buy at the deli in a local grocery store and maybe some of those side dishes like potato salad and use smaller plates to limit serving sizes. That way they'll have room for cake.

Answer 9

Yes, it's tacky. You can have a buffet style catered reception without spending too much money. Try going to a local Italian restaurant and finding out how much for say, spaghetti and meatballs or lasagna. Add some garlic bread and salad and you'll be able to feed a lot of people on a low budget.

Enjoy your wedding.

Answer 10

That's what I plan to do when I get married. If you have a lot of family, more than likely they will be excited to help out. Perhpas I wouldn't ask guests who are acquaintances or not as close, but really close friends and family are perfect candidates for helping get food for the wedding.