Are single mothers still looked down upon when dating.?

Question

Im a single mum to a 4 year old.(My husband died aged 35,two years ago) Im only 28 myself so im curious to know whether men actually see us negatively.By the way,lots of us single mums have good careers and financial independence so im sure we shouldnt all be classed as wanting a father figure for our kids.What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

if a guy looks down on a single mother, then is that guy worth bothering with in the first place?

Answer 2

My thoughts are that the kids have usually suffered enough trauma and drama when they lose a parent, so to start dividing your attention between other men and dating and pursuing a love life might add more distress to the kids.
On the other hand, since your child is so young, there are many years ahead where a stable, secure family with 2-parents are going to be a huge blessing. As a single mother, you need to be extremely picky, and clear about what/who you will allow into your life. The typical social dating of your youth isn't really the way to go about it today.
If you don't want a father figure for the kids, what do you want? A good time on the town?

Answer 3

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Answer 4

No we are not!! I am a single mother of 3, age 23, and no one down grades me because of my children. I work two jobs and go to school. I have my own house, car, and do my best to take care of my three. If anyone down grades single parents, whether the single parent is male or female, then they really need to get a grip on life. I have been told that single mothers are very mature and they have the mother's instinct, when it comes to getting out of situations and illnesses. In my town, the true females (which are the ones that are usually single mothers) are the ones that are always on the top 10 list to grab and marry. And not to brag, but I am one of them! Just because you have children, doesn't mean that you aren't smart or should be outcasted because of it. If a guy really likes you, your child shouldn't be a reason why he doesn't want to date you.

Answer 5

I am a single mum of 2 boys. I am 27 years old and a mature responsible adult, so i see no harm in going out on a date, and neither do most of the people i know. You always get the odd few who think its wrong, but they are the same people who say that single mums are setting a bad example coz their kids dont have a male figure in the house, not father figure, male figure!!

Dont worry about what people say, as long as you are sensible, safe and make sure that your child is the same, then enjoy yourself dating. You are not just a mother, you are also a girlfriend (hopefully!)

Good luck

Answer 6

Any man that would look down on a single mother (just because she is a single mother) isn't someone worth your time anyway.

A good man would judge your character as a whole based on how you conduct yourself and what sorts of decisions you make in the present. Any man interested in you MUST be willing to accept and live with the consequences of the decisions you've already made.

Good luck in your search, very sorry to hear of your loss.
Barry

Answer 7

Regardless if your looking for a father figure for your child or not that's how a guy is going to think. If you are going into a relationship you should look at as something that is going to last. By dating a single parent you have to take the child into consideration. It's not a bad thing, but obviously the guys who aren't prepared or do not want kids are not going to come running to your door.

Answer 8

Hi

I am a single mother and some men do not want to get involved because they feel that if you are not with the babies dad that he is still somewhere in the picture. They want to avoid the drama at all costs .

The way I see it if they can't accept my children then they can't accept me either . I am sooo sorry for your loss but I am sure that there is someone out there that is sweet and patient and will accept you as well as the child because it is a package deal . You cant have one without the other .

Answer 9

After being in a long-term relationship I suddenly found myself back out in the dating scene. At my age, 42, I found that children are often part of the package. I just make sure to include them in some of the activities we plan. It's a different world than it was when I first started dating in the 70's. Single moms are out there for all kinds of reasons and that does not automatically preclude them from the "dating pool."

Answer 10

I don't look down upon single mothers, especially if they don't portray themselves negatively. I have met some single moms that basically use the system and are only looking for men they can trap into fatherhood.

I find it attractive for a single mom who is looking for someone for her first, but who is still looking towards their future.

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