what to do about a mother having a convicted sex offender in front of her children?

Question

My friend's fiancee's ex-wife is dating a convicted sex offender! She knows about it and still sees him. She has 2 daughters in her home and won't let the father see them. We think she is trying to make sure the children won't say anything to their father about this. The 7 year old is peeing her pants. To me, that is a sign the sex offender is doing something to her! CPS won't go over to the mother's house and check it out. What can I tell my friend to do about this? The father and mother go to court I guess next month. Please, I have been trying to look for information for her, and then I thought of this! Give me some honest answers everyone! The police said they can do a welfare check and that's all they can do, unless when they do the check they see something suspicious.

If something is brought to my attention that involves a child possibly getting hurt, I feel it is my business to help as much as possible! That's just like saying you have a friend that's in an abusive relationship and you don't say anything! There are so many children that get scarred from things like this, or end up dead!

It involves multiple acts of children under 13. That's what it says on the National Sex Offender website about him.

Answer 1

It sounds like you have covered the bases. Child Protective Services and a welfare check by the Police.

Is the convicted sex offender still on probation or parole? Could contact with these children be any type of violation of his government sanctions?

A "sex offender" is a broad title. Not to lessen the situation at all, but it's very likely his conviction had nothing to do with children. a "sexual predator" is a higher classification under the law and a more dangerous individual.

Answer 2

I'm surprised CPS will not investigate based upon the complaint of wrong-doing at the residence. However, CPS may also be "walking on thin ice" should someone make an allegation of wrong-doing solely based upon the fact that the mother is dating a convicted sex offender. That in of itself is not a valid complaint.

The complaint should state that a noted difference in behavior has taken place since the convicted sex offender moved in!

Additionally, this is an issue that should be handled by those involved with the immediate family. Though there is no question of your loyalty to your friend....you are an outsider providing "heresay" evidence which doesn't amount to a lot of credible information.

I would make every attempt to learn of the childrens fathers location to make him aware of the situation as he DOES have a right to know what kind of environment his children are in!

The police can make a "courtesy" check but are extremely limited to that allowable by law whereas CPS has more freedom to investigate.

The father SHOULD have some sort of legal order in place to allow for visitation. Hopefully if something is amiss the children will talk to him. If not....pursue CPS and law enforcement vigorously or contact your local District Attorney's Office.

Best wishes!

Answer 3

If the sex offender committed crimes against children and was found guilty,then it is illegal for him to be within such and such of feet of them. They are not suppose to be around schools etc. Your friend's fiance needs to go to the police, tell them this person's name, what crimes he has committed in the past against children, and tell them he fears for his children's safety. Also, does the father of the children have visitation rights? If he does, then, he needs to take the police with him, along with his court order for visitation, and pick his children up. The police "must" abide by a court order. There is nothing the mother can do about it. It's the law. When the father goes to court, he or his attorney needs to inform the judge about the sex offender being in the house with the children. The father also needs to do some investigation of all this. Get documentation on this offender's crimes. Print out a copy of what info you found, find out where he lives,( is he a registered sex offender?) find out where he works. Get pictures of this guy going in and out of his ex;s house. Hire a private investigator. Call Children, Family, Services. Call Social Services. Call the State's Attorney's office. Call anyone you have to that you think may step in and help. I feel for these kids and the mother needs to have her head thumped for being a selfish idiot.

Answer 4

I'm not sure about the response you had from CPS, but if that person is on probation and/or parole, they are not allowed to be unsupervised with any person under the age of 18. You may want to call the probation and/or parole department in your area and try to get help through those channels. If you truely suspect that this person may be harming these children, do not stop until you find someone who will listen.

Answer 5

I feel for you. My own daughter has moved in with a convicted sex offender and I have her children. I have had them since her son was 3 months old and her daughter came home from the NICU. He is not either child's father but she says she loves him. Because she moved in to his home and he is under supervision for having sex with a 14 year old several times when he was 20 it is easier for us to keep her children from her. He is not allowed around any children at all. Your best bet is to get a photo of him at the house or with the children and then call his P.O. If my daughter's boyfriend comes anywhere near a child he is looking at 16 more years of prison. She is upset because her sisters don't want her or him around their children.

You are going to have to get some type of proof and then call the authorities. Don't listen to people that tell you to mind your own business. Every ones first priority should be protecting the children but you cannot do that without proof.

Answer 6

If you have called CPS and the police my only advice is to watch for other signs of abuse. this is a good web sight for that http://www.stopitnow.com/warnings.html#behavioral. If you do see signs of abuse contact the schools the children attend or if the father can at some point see his children, take them to a physician. if they see signs of abuse they by law have to report it, then CPS would have to intervene

Answer 7

If all else fails, contact the press. Those muckrakers love to uncover dirt, and if there is any, they will. If there is a problem, once it hits the 6 O'clock news CPS and the police can no longer be complacent. If there is not a problem, you could be dropping yourself in it, and deep. Other thought is that the 7 year old ought to be in school, so contact the school and suggest they be extra vigilant. They know many of the signs of abuse to look for.

Answer 8

If this guy is in fact, a convicted sex offender, he has a parole/probation oficer assigned to him. As a possible condition of his parole, he should have no contact with kids. Call the stste police or the county sheriff and express your concerns to the operator. She will connect you to the appropriate office.
If it is determined that he is to have no contact with kids, rest assured, someone will be by.

You might also want to google whatever state you're in and see if there is a registry of sex offenders online you can see.

I bring up this story to illustrate shortcomings by the police and CPS:



Dad yanks boy from accused mom's care
Man dropped off son unaware mother faced captivity charges
By Brad Zinn/staff
[e-mail]

STAUNTON — This past Sunday, John Myers handed off his 7-year-old son to the boy's mother, Heather Tomlin, a typical routine under the terms of a custody agreement. Only this time, he had no idea his ex-wife and her husband, Steven Tomlin, had been arrested two days earlier on charges of child abuse, ensnared in a captivity case involving the couple's teenage daughters.

No one — not from the Augusta County Sheriff's office, not from Augusta County Child Protective Services, not the Tomlins themselves — informed the Myerses of the arrests.

The Tomlins are suspected of imprisoning Steven's biological daughters, ages 15 and 16, in separate, barren bedrooms, sometimes for 100-day stretches during a 14-month period. Authorities said windows were nailed shut, door locks reversed, and that the teens were provided with nothing but a box spring, mattress and a portable outdoor toilet. Kitchen cabinets also were kept locked. The teens were allowed to attend school, according to the sheriff's office.

Monday night, nearly 24 hours after last seeing the Tomlins, Connie Myers was watching a local television newscast when she first got word of the arrests.

"We were horrified," she said.

The Tomlins, of 58 Old Hermitage Road, are each charged with two counts of cruelty and injury to a child. Arrested Friday, the couple quickly made bail on Saturday after a magistrate set bonds of $5,000 apiece. By Sunday evening, two days after authorities removed the teenage girls from the Tomlins' home, they drove away from the pre-determined drop-off point with the 7-year-old boy in tow.

The Augusta County Sheriff's Office said it had no knowledge of the boy's existence until Tuesday. Investigator Lt. Glenn Hanger said deputies responded to Hermitage Road on a complaint involving the two teens. He said had there been any evidence of wrongdoing concerning the 7-year-old boy or any other children, "I'm sure the officers would have pursued it."

When asked if deputies inquired about other children living in the home, Hanger referred the question to one of the arresting officers, Cpl. David Lotts. He could not be reached for comment.

Elizabeth Middleton, director of Shenandoah Valley Social Services, said in a child removal situation one of the first questions posed by an agency caseworker is, "What does this family consist of?" The agency, though, did not dispatch a caseworker to the scene and didn't send a representative to the sheriff's office, opting instead to work the case by phone. Middleton would not say if the Tomlins were asked about additional children under their care, or if they were untruthful in their answer to the question.

"I cannot talk about any specific case," she said.

On Wednesday, Sheriff Randy Fisher described the child as a "very, very part-time resident." Thursday, Connie Myers disputed that characterization and said her stepson, because of the custody agreement, spent an average of 17 nights a month at the Tomlins' home.

After hearing news of the arrest Monday night, the Myerses frantically contacted the sheriff's office and Virginia State Police to no avail. A local magistrate told them child protective services wouldn't be available until the next day, according to Connie Myers. Finally, on Tuesday morning, John Myers was reunited with his son.

Hanger said a protective order has been issued against Heather Tomlin, who will not be allowed to visit the boy unless supervised. He said there are no signs of physical abuse involving the child.

Connie Myers said the boy hasn't spoke of the girls' alleged captivity, nor has he been asked about the topic.

"We feel it's enough trauma moving him from one house to another," she said. "We're going to leave that to the professionals."

Answer 9

Well, the father should definitely try to get full custody. If he cannot do that, at least go for split custody so the whore (and any woman that puts her boyfriend before the welfare of her kids is a whore) and her pervert boyfriend cannot take the children out of state or something like that to keep them from the father. He should also talk to a lawyer, I am sure he has options in a case like that.

Edit: I see some perverts (or women who love perverts) gave me "thumbs down". Maybe you'll be the next victim, then let's see if you support sex offenders so much.

Answer 10

What kind fo sex offender? Did he rape a senior citizen? Did he molest a child? There are many kinds of sex offender.

If his crime involved children, I'm sure that a stipluation on his parole is no contact with children. Check into it. CPS or the probation/parole board should intervene in such a case.

If he raped an old woman, to be honest, the kids are probably safe.