Is it ok to ask a guy if he has been tested clear of STDs, etc?

Question

just wondering how to have "the conversation" when starting to have sex with bf for the first time? am i being extra paranoid by wondering about these things, (like whether he is sleeping with anyone else, whether he has anything against using condoms, etc) should i assume he would be decent or should i ask these things just to be clear?

Answer 1

Always ask. If you can do something as personal as sleeping with someone then you can ask them this.

If he respects you then he will have no problems using condoms.

Come straight out and say these things to him as if you are ready to speak him about these things then you are ready to sleep with him.

Good luck and look after yourself

Answer 2

No you are in fact being very smart about it. I never thought about it when I was younger, but now it means life or death. You should have that discussion before you ever have sex with someone for the first time. My girlfriend and I didn't talk about it specifically, but by the time we decided to have sex we had asked enough questions to trust each other and know that neither would let the other get hurt. Don't think of it as a bad thing. Think of it as the safe thing. You're talking about your life.

Answer 3

It's definately important to ask. I would start off a conversation about things that you consider important. Naturally sex would be important to both of you. Ask him about his history. The important thing is using condoms! Even though they protect you from most STDs they do not protect against everything and condoms do not cover all of the private area. A note to consider if he is anti-condom, STDs aren't the only thing to worry about. If he has failed to use condoms, it is entirely possible that he may have a child or children out there that he may or may not know about. While he is telling you about his history, open up and tell him about yours. It's equally important and only fair.

Answer 4

Ask!!! There is always a chance that he will lie. Always use condoms. If you suspect that he's not clean or if he's cheated, stop having sex and get tested. One way to bring it up is to say that you are nervous and that you would feel more comfortable if both of you went and got tested for STDs. Most health departments do free or cheap testings. If he doesn't want to do that or respect your wishes, then leave him. It's your body and you will have to suffer the consequences if he's not clean. Do not compromise on this.

Answer 5

Only problem with asking is will he be willing to tell the truth. Best to not even think about having sex with the guy until you know him so well that you have his medical history memorized. Well not quite that well but you get the idea...and NEVER have sex without condom. If he says he doesn't like them walk away!

Answer 6

if u are unsure bring up the conversation a different way. tell him that one of your cousins found out that he has an std then say oh my god i cant believe he has an std he is always safe. your bf will hopfully start to talk about gettin tested then u ask him if he has he will not be as offended as you only brought up the topic cuz your cousin has one.

Answer 7

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK! You will regret it for the rest of your life if lets say, you get aids. You have to be careful anymore. It's okay to ask. If he respects you he will understand, and he should. He should be asking you the same thing. Even if he hasnt been sleeping around while with you, he could still have it. Even if it doesnt LOOK like it, he could still have. It doesnt matter if hes really nice or hot or whatever it is about him, anyone could have it & no one could know.. even him. So if he hasnt been tested, tell him to go get tested. you, yourself, should always be safe. look out for yourself. please take my advice, dont be another welcome matt to STDs

Answer 8

If you are intimate enough to include sex, there is no reason why you can't ask a question of the intimate nature. Make your own judgment as he can lie!! If you are very concerned & worried, my advise don't rush into things until you get to know him a lot better.

Answer 9

Ya really should ask him ..MAKE YOURSELF VERY CLEAR before ya let things go.. remmebr that it is you who have to suffer if the guy has STD. say if he has HIV, than ya can get yrself pissed.. if you want to have a nice time without worrying about any consequences... rubber is not 100% safe nor any other barrier techniques. and, if you don't want to ask straight, ask him to get a blood test which includes everything.. like that.. or may be ask him to donate blood (e.g. as a rememberance for yr love,anniversary or birthday etc..).. some centres ask ya to have a blood test on STD via blood and other infections before blood donation(so, he can't lie eihter!!).. ya know, i emphasis on STD via blood as it may include HIV and it is ,as ya know, incurable up to this point.. other STD like syphilis,etc.. ya still can help wth a lot of treatment if u still get infected.. herpes , e.g. won't kill ya unlike hiv!

Answer 10

Why were you on a date with the former guy? I fail to make certain how the former guy could be worried that you gave him something from the hot one until eventually you've been courting them both in some unspecified time sooner or later. If previous guy is so worried about his well being, he could take responsibility for it and get himself examined, no longer count number on his ex to do the attempting out for him. you're clean, and that is large! save it between you and your modern-day boyfriend. The previous guy needs to be to blame for his own well being and save his disparaging comments to himself.