how do i deal with this??

Question

okay i had a pretty hard life i was adopted at birth. On April 4th 1998 my adopted momther had died.Of cancer. At that point all i had left was my dad. However i wasnt aware that i was adopted. So my dad couldnt afford to take care of me anymore. And during those times when we lost my mom he became a drunk abusive. Then wen i relized i was adopted i moved in with my biological parents. And now i dont get along with my parents. they think im on drugs and that i have sex and stuff. it stresses me out completely. and like its affecting my relationship with my boyfreind. who i love completely and he is litterally my everything. Not only that but the people i have been best freinds with since i was in diapers are being taken away from me. And im starting to fall apart. i dont know who to cope with all of this besides crying is that what i should do??

Answer 1

((( 1st lots of HUGS to give you strength )))
((Hang in there your answers will come.))

Reach out and find some more positive people to be around.

Can you talk with someone from a local church or do you have a case worker that placed you back with your parents, or even a guidance councelor from your school may be of assistance to you. Ask to speak with them in confidentially, as to what options you have.

I realize from your writing your Mom passed away nearly 10 years ago... have you been to any grievience groups. (( I morned the loss of my Granfather for 10+years, before I was mature enough to come to terms with his death. )) It may be important for to talk with others that may have experienced the same sorrow. (Heed warning, this can be a very painful journey, but it is well worth the time to get intouch with these emotions, and begin moving forward.) We have all been there at one time as our first experience with death of a loved one, can have the most impact in our lives.

There are a great many books written on many of the subjects you are dealing with (sounds like you have a lot going on)adoption, grieving, friendships moving on etc.. Find a good book or two and try reading and educating yourself as much as possible on any of the issues that are troubling you. Read up on how others have overcome, and learn as much as you can from your own experiences.

You sound like a very strong and level headed individual who has had more than their fair share of letdowns. You need to find some guidance to keep you strong, as you find your way through. Stay on track, and keep your chin up. Answers will come just keep searching and work with what is right in your life for today. Take life one day at a time. My prayer for you is your pains start healing sooner than later.

Possibly an Al-teen or EA type meeting may help. Again check in with a trusted teacher or counslor or best friends parent to help you sort this stuff out.

Answer 2

Wow. Talk about double whammies. Well, it sounds like the first thing to consider (this is completely up to you) is maybe trying to talk to a counselor due to the loss of your adopted mother who passed, along with your adopted father who became abusive. Those two things, well three really, are leaving or have left psychological scars, but can be treated and healed =) I think once you get things like this started, it gives you a different perspective on how your life is and how to get over things that used to be. It will give you the control back that you need in your life. I've gone through it myself and I'm fine =) I did learn through that experience how to live with the past, and that people "aren't taken away' things or situations cause them to pull away.

This process could take some time, but I wouldn't give up on it if I were you. If you can't do it right now, then that's ok, but when you're ready and the time comes, go for it. You'd be suprised how much better you'll feel! I felt like a million bucks! Best wishes!!

Answer 3

First of all I want to say that I am sorry that you are even having to experience any of this. I know this is easier said then done but just keep remembering that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. I would suggest that you talk to a professional about what is going on and how your feeling. They will be able to help you out the most. It sounds like you are falling into a depression and it would probably be good to seek help. Just having someone to talk to that doesn't know you or anyone else and doesn't have an opinion will be such a relief. They are there to sit and listen and help you through your obstacles.

Hang in there and keep your head up!!! You'll get through all this!

Answer 4

Calm down. How old are you? If you're over 18, you don't have to deal with any of this and can move into a place of your own, or maybe you could move in with your boyfriend. It makes sense you wouldn't get along with your biological parents; you were adopted for a reason. Once you're away from these people for a while, things will start to tilt upwards. Good luck :)

Answer 5

It sounds like a blessing that you were adopted....if you don't like your biological parents now, imagine what your childhood would've been with them.
See, that's the trick. Everybody got a story, some of them better than yours, alot of them wayyyyyy worse. The ONLY choice you do have in the matter is to take whatever good came out of all of it and move on. There is nothing else to "do" except......
Make a plan for your future. Stick to the plan....your plan for having a better life. That's exactly what I did. And I did not turn out to be a resentful person full of bitterness, I am not an abusive alcoholic like my parents were, and I am able to love and I enjoy being loved. So in the end.....I win, they lose. You must have faith in yourself to rise above.
Best of luck to you, dear.

Answer 6

My heart goes out to you. I suggest you go see a good counselor who can help you work through these issues. A good counselor can help you get from being miserable to a better place emotionally. It sounds like you are depressed. If you have a church home, there may be a counselor at your church or the church may be able to recommend a good counselor.

You are a precious creation of God, unique in every way. He knows your pain, he sees your misery and He is there waiting to help you. If you have a Bible, get it out and start reading in the New Testament. Start with the book of John, it is God's love letter to you. John is the fourth book in the New Testament. The Bible says that God is a father to the fatherless. He can fill that horrible ache you have inside. Seek out a good church and start going. I pray you will find peace soon. God loves you very much.

Answer 7

I suggest you seek counselling to sort through alot of things that have happend in your life so that you can move forward. Sounds like a big chaos right now..so much stress on you everywhere you turn for many years.
Try talking to your parents and if that's not a go*..then definately seek counselling so you can get over these memorys you lived as a child and are living now...cope much better, with less stress...Youll have a more positive outlook on how to deal with things with the help of someone that knows how to guide you on the right path....as for your boyfriend, it must be hard on him also, watching you suffering and feeling helpless..then with your parents not approving of anything is putting alot of strain on your relationship. So like I said, your best bet...is get counselling and work through all of this one step at a time...Trust me , you'll be glad that you did* Right now y ou're not thinking straight, which I can't blame you for....but YOu and only YOU can get the help you need, by opening up in counselling, be totally honest with them (its confidential)...but You Will Get Through this a be a much Stronger Happier Loveable Person* Start healing yourself within....learn to like who you are, discover who you are...then others will see you as a much better person for it*
GOODLUCK* and KEEP ON SMILIN*

Answer 8

Life is tough,no doubt. but you got to see things with more optimisim.Well at first some people dont get the love or even dont get to be beside their parent(even single).
(1).You should be thankful to God that after your foster parents died or dumped you,you found who your biological parents are and got to be with them.
(2).It is not easy for you to adjust with them,but you must understand that iy is not easy for them either.
(3).Take one baby step at a time.....try spending more time with your parents, the more you talk the better you get to know each other...
(4).At this time you just need a sholder to cry on,but dont have blind faith in anyone(boyfriends)..if you dont want to be hurt again.
(5).You want to make friends,try being friends with your parents.
(6).Smile a lot.

Answer 9

Wow, thats alot to deal with. You are smart in knowing you need help with all of that. You have internet access and should be able to find a local, free counseling service. I wish you the best and am sure you will be able to overcome the obstacles you have. Good luck.

Answer 10

How old are you? Friends change a lot in our lives. They come and go. If it is meant to be, let go and it will come back to you. You are already pretty tough but added aggrevation you do not really need. Make the best of school and talk to guidance counselor?