Would u date a young woman who had children? There is such a stigma on women who have children these days.?

Question

Whats the deal? Its so hard for me to find someone who wants to be serious once they find out about my children. I loved a bad man for six years, and loved him so much, I had his children. I didn't do anything wrong. I soley support my children with no child support, and love them dearly. So why does a woman with children pose a problem for men?

Answer 1

Im sorry that you are in this prediciment. As a young male, 23 i must say that I would be a little bit thrown off by a woman I would see as a potential lover having children. For me personally, I love kids and would think its very unfair on children if the new relationship didn't work. Thats not to say that I wouldn't date someone with kids, I would just be a little more cautious.

Answer 2

I am a 23 year old single mother and trust me, I have been through this type of thing before and you know what, if they can't accept the fact that I have a child and/or are ignorant enough to feed into the false assumption that all single mothers are looking for a 'replacement dad' or if they are too scared to be around a woman with a child, then good riddance because I do not want someone like that in my life. I work full-time, go to school part-time, volunteer, and raise a beautiful little girl. If I have an interest in someone and they are man enough to accept who I am and everyone in my life, then they can have the privilege of being part of it too. If not, who needs them anyway because obviously they aren't worth the time or the effort.

The last guy that I was in a relationship with (beyond turning out to be a complete nerd and just weirdo), was definitely freaked out by the fact that I had a daughter. When we first began dating, I didn't bring my daughter around and then one day I text him to come hang out at my friend's house and he made up a lie and declined because he thought my daughter was me! (She wasn't). Once I found out, he started apologizing and talking about how he didn't want her to be in a bad predicament or to be confused, when in reality this guy was the one who was scared and apprehensive. It also offended me that he would have the audacity to reason about what is right and wrong for a little girl that I was the mother to and that in truth he did not really want to meet. Needless to say, I dumped him very quickly. I can't pretend that she doesn't exist just to ease his fears and if he couldn't grasp the fact and realize that she has a father and is taken care of, then that problem is with him and not me. To be honest, this was the only person that really gave me any problems over my having a daughter but regardless, I know that there are quite a few guys that feel that way. However, just because a guy does accept it doesn't mean that you should hold on to them either on the basis that many believe that there aren't too many guys like that. The fact is you will find someone who you will care about and who will care about you and accept every part of you even your children. Just like being single without a child, you are going to have to kiss many frogs before meeting a prince, but don't focus your energy on those who have a problem with a younger single women with children, focus it on the realization that you are a strong woman and that there will be many men who will come into your life wanting to pursue something more and hopefully in those that cross your path, you are able to find the one you truly love and who gives that love and respect in return. Take care and good luck:)

Answer 3

The majority of men would much rather procreate and educate their own offspring rather than another man's. This is just a cold reality! The majority of us are so primitive in our way of thinking that we cannot fathom the idea of raising someone else's kids. If and when we are interested enough in a woman we will tolerate her kids just to get that precious commodity. There are some men, however, that think totally outside the box and can accept a woman with her kids. Some of us see no real difference in raising our own or another's kids.

The majority of single moms engage in an endless parade of relationships trying to land the right one for the sake of her kids and herself, of course. It is basically on a trial and error basis that this is done. In your case, after a bad six year relationship, the force of habit may push you into choosing men that are in no way what you want for you and your children. You were in a bad relationship for six years and you claim you did nothing wrong? Being in an abusive relationship for that long, at the risk of your kids, sounds like you did plenty wrong! You need to sit down and define what it is that you are looking for and be more proactive in searching out, at least, viable candidates.

Not all men are created equal in that respect and I am sure you will find the man for you and your kids. I wish you the best!

Answer 4

I've dated a lot of women with children. My last girlfriend had 3. I am 31, and it seems that most women my age have children. I like kids, and I don't mind dating a woman that has them. But, I want that woman to be with me because she likes me. I don't want to be with someone just because they need a father replacement. I think a lot of men suspect that single mothers are not interested in them, they are interested in being taken care of.

I am not accusing you of this by any means. But a lot of single mothers do things like that. They are with the bad boy type first, who impregnates them. Then they move on to the nice guys. We sort of feel like a second choice. I have known women that wouldn't give me the time of day when they were single without kids. They get married to some jerk, and have his kids. Then all of the sudden they are calling me. It makes you feel used when someone does that.

Answer 5

I think some men are just not ready to "settle" down with a women with kids, they think its just to much to handle or scared.

I would date a man with kids so I dont know why men are that way.

I was the same way but I was 4 months pregnant (with exs baby) and I meet my now husband he didnt have a problem with it, he loved me and always took care of me when I was sick etc. he came to all doc visits and was in the delivery room he adopted our son right away... But I know its hard, some men looked at me like I had a diease ~weird~

Answer 6

I would date a woman w/ kids in a heartbeat, in fact all my relationships have had children involved except one. Most men do not want the hassle of dealing with someone elses kids, period.

Answer 7

Some men thinks that we want them to be a father to our kids that's why they shy away from women with kids. They don't except the fact that we're not looking for a daddy. You will find someone for you. The right one will come along. Just don't short change yourself.

Answer 8

Because in falling in love with you, they are also saying that they want to live with, raise and become father to your children. That is a huge huge step. But that said, there are men that would be willing to do that. It happens everyday.

Answer 9

some men would rather do without the baggage, but the one that does is the one that you should fight to stay by your side, men like that are hard to find.