I'm having a lot of trouble deciding whether to choose my best friend (of 18 years) or my sister as my maid/matron of honor. My sister and I are very close, but she has two kids and another on the way, plus she lives 6 hours away from me- so I don't think she would want the responsibility of planning a bridal shower, giving the toast, etc. When she got married 5 years ago, she didn't have bridesmaids, and HER best friend at the time was her maid of honor (although she has said many times that now she wishes she had chosen me instead- we weren't as close back then as we are now). I definitely want her in my wedding, but I don't want her to be hurt if I choose my friend instead of her as my maid of honor....and I know sisters are forever, but I know my best friend will be 'forever' as well. I don't know what to do. Any advice??
2007-03-07 05:47:40 · 23 answers · asked by journalismgal 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You can have two...
Or you can talk to both of them at the same time, and just talk it over with them... I'm sure they'd be able to come up with something themselves.. your sister might not even be able to handle it all.. it's best if you just talk it over with them.
2007-03-07 05:52:58 · answer #1 · answered by F.J. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your best friend married? If not, you can have her as your maid of honor and your sister as matron of honor (I know, it's just semantics, but you get around having two "maids of honor" that way).
But, most importantly, have who you feel most comfortable having. If you feel that your best friend is the best choice, then do it. She knows you well, she will be able to really help you out in the planning process and she will be able to keep you calm and organized on your big day.
Talk to your sister about your choice and makes ure that she understands that you love her and that you still want her in your wedding as a bridesmaid, but that you are concerned that she has too many other responsibilities and distractions right now to really be what you need in a maid of honor because she lives far away, because she has two kids and another on the way and you don't want her to have to add on the responsibility of planning a shower, planning a bachelorette party and giving a toast.
Tell her that you still value her input and you want her help, but you just didn't think she would be the right fit for your role of maid of honor.
As long as you include her as a bridesmaid, I'm sure she'd understand!
2007-03-07 09:47:31 · answer #2 · answered by ms. teacher ft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. If one is married and the other isn't, you can have a maid and a matron of honor.
2. You could have "co-maids of honor".
3. Talk to your sister and ask her if she is up to the responsibility as she is far away, has two kids, and is pregnant. It might be a relief to her that you brought it up as it sounds as if she's snowed under without the extra pressure of being a MOH.
If you do choose your best friend, just make sure your friend keeps her very much in the loop by calling and e-mailing to discuss colors, shower themes, etc.
You sound like you have a great sister and wonderful best friend and your wedding will be an event to remember. Best wishes.
2007-03-07 15:55:20 · answer #3 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not know that the best friend is forever. I thought that about my bridesmaids and I have not seen or heard from either of them in years.
Your sister can be Matron of Honor and you should not assume that she would not do whatever it takes to be there and fulfill the responsibility.
Personally I think you should choose your sister, my sister and I were nto close but I made her my Maid of Honor anyway. It was the start of a new and better relationship between us. Ultimatly it is your day and you get to choose who you want so make up your mind and go for it, either way.
2007-03-07 05:55:46 · answer #4 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought my best friend would be "forever" too. My sister and I are very close, but she lives in another country and never have i thought of choosing my friend over her, which now I am glad, because my best friend, whom I had been planning my wedding with all this time, whom i considered a sister subconsciously betrayed and hurt me, hence, I have not spoken to her in 4 months. Yet my sister is still around, and still my maid of honor. Going back to think about what my "best friend" did to me, I think I would have gotten over it if it would have been my REAL sister. If you have a great relationship with your sis, then stick with her, after 10 years, I've realized a friend is always a friend, and a sister is always a sister, BIG difference. Oh, and that thing about too much responsibility, who are you to decide that for your sister? And just because your "Best friend" isn't maid of honor, doesn't mean she can't throw you a bridal shower. Talk about it, after all, she is your "best friend" and should understand your responsibility as a sister.
2007-03-07 11:22:05 · answer #5 · answered by prttychk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have both, your sister as your matron and your friend as your maid. That way it relieves some of the pressure off of your sister from planning all the stuff. If you are worried about your fiance not having two best men, don't worry about it. My fiance is having 2 best men and I am only have 1 matron of honor
2007-03-07 06:01:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your friend married? If not then have a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor. Otherwise if you're that close with your sister than you should be able to tell her exactly what you wrote - that you want her, but don't want to burden her and surely she'll understand.
2007-03-07 06:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by GingerGirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you would like to have your sister but don't know if she is up for the responsibility, you should ask her! That's the only way to know for sure. And you can always have more than one Maid/Matron of Honor- there's no rule saying you can only have one!
2007-03-07 06:23:33 · answer #8 · answered by YourZ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In choosing your maid of honor, you want to choose someone who you know will be able to devote time to you and be there for you whenever you need them throughout the planning process. I think that you should choose your best friend, but let your sister know that the reason you are not choosing her is because it would be an in convenience for her being that she lives so far away.
2007-03-07 06:46:58 · answer #9 · answered by casejo2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have two one maid of honor your best friend and your sister as a matron of honor.That way you can keep the peace.
2007-03-07 05:57:20 · answer #10 · answered by sharen d 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can have your sister as your matron of honor and your friend as the maid of honor, they can both help with all the planning. I think that it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask them to share teh tasks, they would both be happy to help in any way they can! Good Luck and Congrats! Sisters are for life, but best friends are like sisters, right?
2007-03-07 05:52:59 · answer #11 · answered by lovin' life... 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋