Single mother now for a year and a half. Had several casual dates. Never let the children see any of them. Nothing serious until recently. Been seeing a great guy now for five months. 8 year old curious. Is it too soon for the introduction??
2007-03-07 05:42:36 · 11 answers · asked by tarakootenay 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If you are really serious with the guy and want to keep a long relationship with him then yes...introduce him.....otherwise if you think that the relationship with this guy is still not sure which way it is heading then wait till you are sure about it.
2007-03-07 05:51:54 · answer #1 · answered by faizanramball 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I see why you are concerned. I've been through this before, but my son was almost three so it wasn't like he really cared too much. Still, the concern was there.
My advice is to trust your instincts! You know your children better than anyone.
Do you think giving your kids a heads up before a meeting would help?
The one thing I would make sure to do is let the kids know this is someone you like and trust and that you "want", not "would like'" the kids to get to know him, too.
Hehe, wording is everything. The thing with this situation is kids like to find that one bit of control they can get and use it later when the guy steps into the picture.
Like if you were to hint that they have even the slightest choice in whether he stays or not, they will use that.
Of course, in a way, they do have a choice, but they don't need to know that. They will appreciate the fact that you still have time and love for them even though there is someone else in the picture you care for. Chances are they will like this guy if you like him.
I hope this helps a little. Kids are all so different, yours may just be good sports about the whole thing! Like I said, trust what your own heart and gut are telling you.
Good luck!
2007-03-11 09:10:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think so, children remember everything. You have only been dating this guy for 5 months (he is still temporary). You should at least wait till after a year to make sure that you and this person are going to be somewhat permenant. I have a 10 yr. old and I never let her meet any of my guy friends even after we have been dating a year. For me it's because I have a daughter and with so many things happening with child predators after 5 months you really don't know the person well enough. As stated before children remember and I wouldn't want to risk the fact that is may or may not work out and then someone else comes along.
2007-03-07 13:54:48 · answer #3 · answered by inquisitor1125 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kudos to you for thinking of your child!!
There are sevreal things to consider here - how mature is your child? Some kids, at 8, would be totally ready for this and some would not - that's going to play the biggest factor in your decision. Kids mature differently, and if you don't think your child is ready, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with waiting.
However, if he(she?) is asking, that's a sign he/she might be ready to meet your new beau. Consider something like lunch, a picnic, or some other activity your child enjoys (but NOT something that's just a "mom and me" activity).
Keep it simple, keep it casual, and before you meet, let your child ask you lots of questions about your new boyfriend. And, give your boyfriend the heads-up that you child might be asking lots of questions of him, too - it's a great test to see how he does with your child as well!!
Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck!!!
2007-03-07 14:57:45 · answer #4 · answered by sylvia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's too soon.
This is just my opinion, but I would have them meet in a public place with other people around, not at your house. Everyone feels more comfortable and relaxed this way. Maybe he could meet you and your 8 yr. old at a restaurant or for a picnic lunch in a park, on a nice day. Keep it light. Ask your 8 yr. old ahead of time, what questions they might have for your guy, so you won't be surprised or shocked when they actually meet.
2007-03-07 14:02:24 · answer #5 · answered by angelpoet04 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a good time, I think it's good you don't introduce every guy you've ever gone to dinner with but five months is quite a while, time to see how they get along too :)
2007-03-08 12:42:50 · answer #6 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!
My dad tried that, and when he just poped the woman in,
I wanted to kill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but then again, my parents were still marrieed.
Let you 8 year old meet him.
if your child isn't accepting, will it change your relationship? Because now that man HAS been introducted into the childs life, without so much as an opinion from your 8 year old.
2007-03-07 13:46:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think so. I appreciate the fact that you're thinking of your child that way! More should be like you. As long as he and you are serious I don't think it's too early. 8 year olds are smarter than you think. I had a couple of them already.
2007-03-07 13:46:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First question to answer - does your date know about your children?
If he does then ask him if he feels comfortable enough to meet your children, then work out a time and place. If he doesn't even know about them then you may wind up having to look for a new date.
One more thing - if he does go to meet your children, tell them not to ask him "Are you going to be my new daddy?".
2007-03-07 13:49:28 · answer #9 · answered by nycguy10002 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think it would be ok if you let them meet now, just say that this is a very good friend of yours that you have been spending a lot of time with.
2007-03-07 13:48:25 · answer #10 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋