love in relationship?

Question

link to the previous questions i asked. the love she had for me is not stronger than the one she had for god. so if i converted to be a christian, wouldn't our relationship will be the love for god and not love for each other? the stronger basics in a relationship should be love for each other while others should be 2nd right? so should i move on or wat? i'm in a dilemma..

she initiated the break up becauase she doesn't wan to disobey god. i ain't no christian. so she said bible states that we can't be together.

Answer 1

I'd move on if I were you. I understand that you feel love for her and it hurts, but if you did convert for her it wouldn't be enough. You'd probably always hold resentment for her because you had to compromise yourself for her, and she may never trust that you're true in your belief (and you probably wouldn't be anyway).

If she's not willing to accept you for who you truly are now, and when you met her, then move on.

Answer 2

In Christianity God is number one, because He is good and He knows better than we do what is good for us. As for converting, I think that you should simply do some research into Christianity and the beliefs. You shouldn't change your beliefs simply for someone else, that would not make your relationship work. But if you think that Christianity could be a real part of your life for YOU then your relationship would be about your love for each other and your love together for God. If you are not ready to make a decision like that to change your beliefs then maybe you should let her go, because it sounds like this is a pretty important thing for her.
Also in Christianity, a relationship is about three; you, your gf and God. The cord of three strands cannot be broken.

Answer 3

The idea is that if you focus on God and put him first, he takes care of everything else. We favor independence in our society, but God wants us to look to him for answers. Sometimes, we can fight with each other (or ourselves) over an issue, when God is just sitting right there with the answer, if we would only ask.

It is hard to understand if you don't have a personnel relationship with God yourself. Converting to Christianity should be about your own relationship with Christ, not about your relationship with a person.

Answer 4

I was taught as a child that love for God should be first in our hearts always regardless of our current relationship status. If you love another person more than you love God, then technically you are an idolator.

Since God is more of an abstract idea and concept rather than a flesh and blood person, I think it's safe for your girlfriend to love God first in her heart and you second. You can love ideas completely because they are usually without visible flaws. You are not in competition with her love for God because there is no competition because God is not another person. As much as you can love another person is as much as she loves you. As much as you can love an idea is as much as she loves God. You are trying to compare apples to oranges to justify a break up.

If your relationship is this flimsy that you worry about competing with God, then you probably should move on to someone a bit more shallow like yourself.

Answer 5

If you keep wanting tobe most important to someone who puts principle and truth ahead of you, you will find disappointment.

conversion to be loved is empty.

If you were married to truth also, then you could find happiness.

What you think you need is what you need to give.

Answer 6

Move on dude! You are your own person, and if you do just to please her. What will see want you to do next. You and her have different beliefs and if she can't accepted it. Then you will have to move on!

Answer 7

The decision is ultimately yours, for you alone are responsible for your own peace of mind, and happiness. I will share with you this, which may help you some, in making your best decision for the both of you.
*Please Patiently read. Thank You.
*"What in the world is the difference between loving a person and being attached to them?
Love is the sincere wish for others to be happy, and to be free from suffering.
Having realistically recognized others' kindness as well as their faults, love is always focused on the other person’s welfare. We have No ulterior motives to fulfill our self-interest, or to fulfill our desires; to love others simply because they exist.
Attachment, on the other hand, exaggerates others' good qualities and makes us crave to be with them. When we're with them, we're happy, but when we're separated from them, we are often miserable. Attachment is linked with expectations of what others should be or do.
Is love as it is usually understood in our society
really love? or attachment ? or even possibly for some, only selfish lust.
Let us examine this a bit more. Generally we are attracted to people either because they have qualities we value or because they help us in some way. If we observe our own thought processes mindfully, and carefully - we'll notice that we look for specific qualities in others.
Some of these qualities we find attractive, others are those our parents, or society value.
We examine someone's looks, body, education,
financial situation, social status. This is how most of us decide on whether or not the person holds any true value to us.
In addition, we judge people as worthwhile according to how they relate to us. If they help us, praise us, make us feel secure, listen to what we have to say, care for us when we are sick or depressed, we consider them good people, and it is this type of people we are most likely to be more attracted to.
But this is very biased, for we judge them only in terms of how they relate to "us", as if we are the most important person in the world.
After we've judged certain people to be good for us, whenever we see them it appears to us as if goodness is coming from them, but if we are more aware, we recognize that we have projected this goodness onto them.
Desiring to be with the people a lot who make us feel good, we become emotional yo-yo's -
when we're with these people, we're Up, when we're not with these people, we're Down.
Furthermore, we form fixed concepts of what our relationships with those people will be and thus have expectations of them. When they do not live up to our expectations of them, we're very disappointed, or may become angry !
We want them to change so that they will they will match what we think they are. But our projections and expectations come from our own minds, not from the other people.
Our problems arise not because others aren't
who we thought they we're, but because we mistakenly thought they were something they
aren't.
Checklist: "I Love You if __________ "
What we call love is most often attachment.
It is actually a disturbing attitude that overestimates the qualities of another person.
We then cling to tightly to that person, thinking our happiness depends on that person.
"Love, on the other hand, is an open and very calm, relaxed attitude. We want someone to be happy, and free from suffering simply because they exist. While attachment is uncontrolled and much too sentimental, Love is direct and powerful. Attachment obscures our judgment and we become impatient, angry, and impartial, helping only our dear ones and harming those who we don't like. Love builds up others, and clarifies our minds, and we
access a situation by thinking of the greatest good for everyone. Attachment is based on
selfishness, while Love is founded upon cherishing others, even those who do not look very appealing to the eyes. Love looks beyond
all the superficial appearances, and dwells on the fact that they are just like us: they want inner peace, happiness, and want to avoid suffering. If we see unattractive, dirty, ignorant people, we feel repulsed because our selfish minds want to know attractive, intellectual, clean, and talented people. Love, on the other hand, never evaluates others by these superficial standards and looks much deeper into the person. Love recognizes that regardless of the others' appearances, their experience is the same as ours: they seek inner peace, to be happy, to be free from sufferings, and to do their best to avoid problems.
When we're attached, we're not mentally and emotionally free. We overly depend on and cling to another person to fulfill our mental and especially our emotional needs. We fear losing the person, feeling we'd be incomplete without him.
This does not mean that we should suppress our emotional needs or become aloof, alone and totally independent, for that too does not solve the problem. We must simply realize our unrealistic needs, and slowly seek to eliminate them. Some emotional needs may be so strong that they can't be dissolved immediately.
If we try to suppress them or pretend they do not exist, we become anxious, insecure, falling into a depression. In this case, we can do our best to fulfill our needs while simultaneously working gradually to subdue them.
"The core problem is we seek to be loved, rather than to love. We yearn to be understood by others rather than to understand them. In all honesty, our sense of emotional insecurities comes from the selfishness obscuring our own minds. 'We can develop self-confidence by recognizing our inner potential to become a selfless human being with many, magnificent qualities, then we'll develop a true and accurate feeling of self-confidence. And then we'll seek to increase true love, without attachments, to increase compassion, to cultivate patience and understanding, as well as generosity, concentration and wisdom.
'Under the influence of attachment we're bound by our emotional reactions to others. When they are nice to us, we're happy. When they ignore us, or speak sharply to us, we take it personally and are unhappy. But pacifying attachment doesn't mean we become hard-hearted. Rather, without attachment there will be space in our hearts and minds for genuine Affection and Impartial Love for them.
We'll be actively involved with them.
If we learn to subdue our attachments, we can most definitely have successful friendships and personal relationships with others. These relationships will be richer because of the freedom and respect - the relationships will be based on. We'll care about the happiness and the misery of all human beings equally, simply because everyone is the same in wanting and needing inner peace, happiness, and not wanting to suffer. However, our lifestyles and interests may be more compatible with those of some people more so than with others and that is alright. In any case, our relationships will be based on mutual Love, mutual interests, and the wish to help each other in life."*