Have you ever taken someone on a date, and you're buying dinner, and they order the most expensive things on the menu? Is that a bummer, or something you've planned for "just in case"? Does what a person orders when you take them out for dinner affect your opinion of that person; and if so, in what way?
2007-03-07 05:32:19 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I am not asking for myself, I am not in this situation, I am asking because I was discussing it with my brother, and I told him I'd ask around and see what other people think of it.
2007-03-07 05:42:36 · update #1
Only if your Visa is expired!
Say 'hi' to Sean for me!
2007-03-07 05:40:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, you don't ever take someone on a date to a place where you can't afford anything they order. I assume that when two people go out on a date, their intention is to have fun and enjoy each others' company, not conduct a test of some sort. So you take them to someplace nice where even if they order the most expensive item on the menu, it won't strain your budget. To me, that's a no-brainer. (And if the person who is being treated feels that the place their date has chosen to take them is somehow "beneath" them in class, well, that allows both parties to decide that they aren't right for each other without wasting time.)
To specifically answer your question, though: if the person who orders the most expensive item on the menu eats it all and seems delighted with it, and expresses thanks for the meal, then I don't think there should be any problem with the date. However, if the person who orders the most expensive item on the menu picks at it and eats a little of it and and then bags it up to take home, or worse yet just discards most of it, my feelings for this person would probably cool off. I feel strongly that when you invite someone out to eat on a date, they should order what they like, but no more than they will actually eat.
A date is supposed to be all about the enjoyment of someone's company and the time you spend together. If you make it into some kind of test, how enjoyable is that? So you don't invite someone to a place you can't afford, and if you're the invitee, you order what you want, enjoy eating it, and that ends it.
2007-03-07 06:13:13 · answer #2 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, any place that had lobster on the menu would be at least a sorta fancy place, I'd probably count on paying quite a bit in that case, unless it's Red Lobster but then you should definitely have counted on it, they do sell more than crab sticks :) If it were a real fancy date and we're both really into great food, then I'd probably join them, after all lobster is very good... we'd both enjoy a great dinner.
However sometimes people who don't even *like* good food order expensive meals, and then when it gets to the table they'll start pouring salt & condiments on it without even tasting it first, and stuff their face without even tasting the food. In that case I'd feel rather bummed and taken advantage of. It depends a lot on the person and how they'd eat the meal!
2007-03-08 04:49:13 · answer #3 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tend to expect the person to order the most expensive thing on the menu when I'm paying. If they order the most expensive thing on the menu it just tells me that they are greedy and selfish. I do not go out with that person again. I do not expect them to order the cheapest item on the menu either. If a person is ready for you to order the most expensive thing on the menu they will tend to say order anything you like, But only do so if you've been going out for a while and you have picked up a tap or two. Sometimes I will test a person's personality by telling them I have a set amount to spend on dinner. Their reaction tells me whether they are looking for Daddy big bucks.
2007-03-07 05:50:07 · answer #4 · answered by puppets48744 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the person being treated to dinner knows that the person buying isn't Bill Gates, and they go ahead and order lobster or fillet mignon any, then yes, that person ordering lobster is an ******. Whenever someone has treated me to dinner, I always fake like I'm still deciding and see what they order. That way I can see what sort of price range we're talking about. Or just look at the menu and see what the average price is for the dinners there. ordering something in the middle range and you can't go wrong.
2007-03-07 05:37:19 · answer #5 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
that's a bummer! everyone knows that when you go out on a date and someone is paying not to order the most expensive thing, it's common law!
unless the person throws hints at you like, "man that lobster looks mighty good tonight" or ask do you mind if I order the lobster?
but if you are paying for someones dinner you should be sure you can afford the most expensive thing just in case!
2007-03-07 05:37:20 · answer #6 · answered by Iluvhim 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No if i'm taking them out to dinner, I plan to be able to pay for ANYTHING they may want to order-that goes for the 30 dollar lobster or the 6 dollar salad. And it depends on both the person and the situation to determine if I thought ordering the lobster would be offensive. Normally, i'd probably question their manners, but then again, I also probably told them to order whatever they wanted in the 1st place.
2007-03-07 05:39:23 · answer #7 · answered by rockingballerina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I usually make sure I can afford plenty for myself and the other person whenever I take a date out. Whether it's lobster or sushi depends on how bad I want to get in their pants.lol.
However, someone who blatantly just taking advantage of the situation, I'll ask them to pay half when the bill comes and never see them again.
2007-03-07 05:39:45 · answer #8 · answered by guy o 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you take someone out you have to expect anything, like them ordering the most expensive thing on the menu. You have to be prepared! Although lobster is expensive it just may be someone's favorite dish but it usually says that they are a user and they are out to get whatever they can from you, so be careful.
2007-03-07 05:38:58 · answer #9 · answered by poetprincess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are "taking someone on a date", and you're buying, you should pick a place where you have no problem paying for whatever is on the menu. If you're going to feel put upon because a person who is essentially your guest orders an expensive meal, you shouldn't be going to places that serve lobster in the first place.
2007-03-07 05:36:52 · answer #10 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think you've hit upon a good test of character! Take someone to a restaurant with a wide range of dishes at varying costs. Make it clear you're going to pay, and then see what the person orders. By his or her choices, ye shall know them! Of course, there is the matter of determining if they're just insensitive or purposefully cadging an expensive meal. Intent isn't made clear in this test, but, by golly, you have hit upon another character test for my files! Thanks!
Oh yes, to answer your question, if I offer to pay, I'll be prepared, no matter what, but there are situations that I won't get myself into twice!
2007-03-07 05:55:56 · answer #11 · answered by Black Dog 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋