I posted this question but I feel I need to add details and ask again. Here is the situation, I'm getting married in August. My maid of honor keeps asking me for a list of guests for my bridal shower. This is kinda tricky for me. I'm having a small immediate family (and grandparents) only wedding and then the big huge reception following. When I asked my mom whom I should invite, she told me all of my aunts and cousins. Wow, thats a huge amount and I feel bad asking people to attend a shower that are only pretty much invited to my reception. First of all I'm not big into the whole shower thing anyway but my maid of honor is soooo excited for it, and I honestly don't know who to invite. Any words of wisdom?
2007-03-07 05:21:58 · 16 answers · asked by Krissy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's your wedding and your shower, so you can do whatever you want most.
Traditionally, you only invite people to the shower if they are invited to the wedding, but for most weddings this also includes everyone at the reception, so you kinda have to set your own precedent here.
Definitely invite any women who will be attending the ceremony, including everyone in the bridal party and immediate family. The groom's female family should be included too, since they are going to be your family(-in-law) soon as well. I think it's okay to draw the line here, since these people are the "inner circle" and will be attending the ceremony. If people are only invited to the reception, they won't expect to be invited to the shower as well.
Or, plan a dual reception - a lunch/dinner with the small group, and then a larger free-for-all party/bbq/picnic that all your aunts cousins friends etc can attend.
2007-03-07 05:33:47 · answer #1 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, is the maid of honor understanding the costs involved in throwing you the huge shower? It can be smaller & more intimate & a heck of a lot more affordable! If money is not an issue, than go for the big one so that all the gals can share in the excitement. While there, you can explain the small wedding with hopes to see them at the great reception celebrating your new life together.
2007-03-07 05:29:09 · answer #2 · answered by MrsJ S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bridal Shower Etiquette
(For the Bride and Hostess)
Just like everything having to do with weddings there is even etiquette for bridal showers - who to invite, who not to invite, when, where, etc. Both the bride and hostess can find adhering to bridal shower etiquette difficult, which is why we have decided to list the answers to all your questions on bridal shower etiquette in this issue of the Cost-Effective Bride.
Who can throw a Bridal Shower?
Traditionally, bridal shower etiquette says that close family members of the bride (sisters and moms) are not supposed to throw a shower for the bride. But, for many brides, there simply is no one else who can or is willing to do it. Therefore, anyone who wants to throw a shower can, bearing in mind that if there are plenty of people who would like to throw a shower for the bride, then the mother and sisters should take a backseat. Bridesmaids do traditionally throw the bride a shower.
When should a Bridal Shower be held?
Ideally, the bridal shower would be held 1-2 months before the wedding, but there is nothing wrong with it being held more in advance, provided that the bride can attend.
Who should be invited to the bridal shower?
The mother-of-the-bride and mother-of-the-groom should always be invited to the shower - along with the bride, of course! (As well as step-mothers on both sides.)
Sisters of the bride and groom are also generally invited to every bridal shower, but have the option of choosing to attend just one.
People who are not invited to the wedding should not be invited to the bridal shower.
Other than that, the bride and hostess should work together to come up with the guest list for the bridal shower. Numbers should be kept within the hostess' budget (brides, be respectful of their wishes!) and hostess' you should clearly set this limit from the beginning.
Couples showers are becoming more popular, but keep in mind that this can double the guest list.
Where should the bridal shower be held?
Really there is no bridal shower etiquette rule on this. The one exception I would make is that you should never ask people to pay for their meal at a shower. So, if it is not in your budget to have the shower at a restaurant, no matter what the bride prefers, don't!
Are gifts given at Bridal Showers?
Of course! This is, actually, the point of bridal showers - to "shower" the bride with gifts as a way to help her start her new life on the right foot. If you cannot attend a bridal shower, there are varying opinions on whether or not you should still send a gift. When in doubt, send one! The bride won't forget that you remembered.
Hope this guide help you. Congratulations!
2007-03-07 05:55:31 · answer #3 · answered by Bianca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your mom's advice. Even if people aren't invited to the wedding a lot of them will want to help you get started with your new lift by attending a bridal shower. There is no harm in that. You could do a little speech at the shower and let everyone know how important they are to you, but that you only have limited room at the wedding, but please expect invitations to the reception in the mail.
2007-03-07 05:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I found this on the web:
Who gets invited to bridal showers? The bride or the mother of the bride should be able to help determine the guest list. Keep in mind that anyone who is invited to the bridal shower should also be invited to the wedding. It is inappropriate to ask someone to come to a shower, and then not ask them to the main event.
Good luck!
2007-03-07 05:29:31 · answer #5 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you shouldn't feel bad about not having them attend the actual ceremony. People have small ceremonies all the time followed by the big reception. But if you don't want the bridal shower, maybe suggest your maid of honor plan a girls night out or something. She just wants to do something special for you, so think of something you can distract her with.
2007-03-07 05:28:58 · answer #6 · answered by MBN 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if this applies to you but in my case first and for most listen to your mom if you don't invite everyone some people might feel left out. Also if you are worried about peoples attitudes and taste clashing i would advise you to do what i do for some of my clients, have a bridal shower and a batchlorette party. You could invite some of your wilder friends and family to the batchlorette party and have the bridal shower set for the older friends and family who might be offended by drinking and things of that nature.
2007-03-07 08:27:13 · answer #7 · answered by Taiasha M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married almost 5 years ago. My husband and I had a small wedding. I said I was only inviting people that I like, basically close friends and immediate family. I invited all the women who were invited to the wedding and some extended friends (mom's friends, mom in-law's friends). I made sure that people knew ahead of time that they weren't being snubbed. It was clear to EVERYONE that the wedding was small. I had no problems and people actually thanked us because it was intimate and personal the whole way around. I hope that helps.
2007-03-07 05:37:37 · answer #8 · answered by ladypoohbear1975 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well who wants to come to a wedding reception that are not invited to the wedding? If that's the case just give her a list of people who are going to be invited to the wedding.
2007-03-07 05:27:17 · answer #9 · answered by Tab 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anyone invited to the reception should be invited to a shower. You could always do a mini wedding ceremony at your reception that is what I am doing since I got married in December so my mom could be there before she lost her battle with cancer
2007-03-07 05:26:33 · answer #10 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋