I've been seeing this guy for over 8 months and he will only tell me bits and pieces about his break up with his ex. they have a young child together as well. I think he still has feelings for her even though it's been a lil over a yr since the break up but he does see her b/c of the kid. Advice?
2007-03-07 05:21:22 · 5 answers · asked by pradagurl2k3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What do you want to pry into the details of the breakup for? Perhaps he doesn't want to hash out every detail with you because it is over with and there is no point in discussing every detail with you because it is the past and that's where he wants to leave it. What gives you the idea that he still harbors any emotions for the ex? Is it through his actions or words or does this stem from your own possible insecurities with his past relationship? Unless he has done something beyond not wanting to reminisce his past relationship , then I wouldn't really worry about it. Yes, he does have to maintain some sort of relationship with the ex on the basis of their having a kid together but that does not mean that he still has feelings for her or that anything is actually going on. The fact is that they are broken up and have been broken up for a little over a year. In addition and most importantly, he is with you. So my advice would be to try and ease your own insecurities in regards to this situation and learn to trust your boyfriend. If he is truly giving you any reason to doubt his intentions or to not trust him, then perhaps your best option is to talk with him or leave. The mother of his child is going to be a part of his life whether or not you like it and you either need to learn to accept it or move on. I wish you nothing but the best of luck but please don't start wondering about his actions when he has been with you for 8 months now and because he doesn't want to hash out every single detail of a breakup. I have been divorced since last August and without my ex for exactly a year yesterday. We have a kid together but our relationship doesn't transcend beyond our daughter nor would I want it to. He has a girlfriend and although I haven't met her, I couldn't understand why she would think that anything was going on just on the basis that my ex and I get along for the sake of our kid so perhaps neither should you. In addition, I wouldn't want to speak about every single gruesome detail from my past marriage to my new partner because it took me long enough to get over the bs that I encountered with them and I wouldn't want to keep talking about it. However, I would answer what they wanted to know but if I felt uncomfortable or saw that they were merely trying to pry or take everything out of context, I probably wouldn't want to discuss anything any further. The past is the past and that is where it should stay. He is with you in the present and so long as you don't dwell on this and cause a big commotion out of what appears to be nothing, then you will most likely also be his future. Take care.
2007-03-07 06:10:09 · answer #1 · answered by serenity113001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm all for not knowing about my Boyfriend's past relationships because to me it just asks for trouble and invites jealously into the relationship. But if there is a kid involved, then i would want to know the details because she will be in his and your life forever!
2007-03-07 05:26:51 · answer #2 · answered by prttychk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try telling him you would feel better if you knew the details because it's a very important part of his life and thus significant to how well you can know him. then give him some space to gather his thoughts before bringing it up again. don't put the pressure on - you'll scare him and don't freak out whatever he says.
2007-03-07 05:31:37 · answer #3 · answered by smethansmee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to offend you but it's really not good to dig into the past relationships with guys, you might learn something you don't want to know or something that will change how you feel
maybe he really doesn't think it's your business, I know that's hurtful to think but sometime he will probably tell you
it is possible he still loves his ex but not likely just because he won't tell you what happened
2007-03-07 05:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by Wendy C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
b/c he's still hurting, he has a child with her, he doesn't want to tell you every single detail of his life.
2007-03-07 05:27:43 · answer #5 · answered by Laura 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋