I wil be 25 in may and He will be 23 in sept. He graduated college in May. He said he's waiting for a feeling that he's ready to get married. We will be in a long distance relationship once he graduates. Im ready to be engaged. Do you think I should ask him to move in with me in the fall? I'm just looking for advice on the issue
2007-03-07 05:16:46 · 17 answers · asked by Angel222 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can't rush/force someone to marry you if they don't feel like they should just yet. And in all honesty, 2 1/2 years isn't really that long. Hell, I've been dating my b/f for 5 years and I knew him for about 1 year before that, and we're still not ready... it's really just something he has to be ready for. And it's something that you're gonna have to talk to him about.. and tell him everything that concerns you, like the long-distance thing, and the moving in thing, and all that... both of you should try to work something out, or at least you can find out more about where he's coming from with the "feeling that he's ready"...
2007-03-07 05:23:21 · answer #1 · answered by F.J. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Angel it's a known and accepted fact that women mature faster than men. You are almost 25 and he's almost 23 so that means he's really only about 19 in "man years". Of course he's not ready to get married. I wouldn't propose to him or ask him to move in with you, that equates to the same thing. However if you are concerned about the distance breaking up the relationship (and it is a valid fear) then talk to him about at least becoming engaged but having a long engagement. If he's not will to do that, and you aren't wanting a long engagement, then it sounds as if you are going in two different directions. One of you will either have to give in (and honey, trust me that it won't be him), go on with things they way they are and "hope for the best" or move on. If being engaged and getting married is what you want (and it doesn't necessarily need to be to him) then you should find someone older or someone who's at the stage in his life where he's ready to make that sort of commitment. It isn't fair for you to try and change him or force him into something he's not ready for. Good luck.
2007-03-07 13:34:48 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming that you won't take a poll and then go with the most popular answer. This is your life. Do what you want. The only piece of advice I can give you is this....getting married isn't something that you do because of a feeling. What if ten yours from now he gets a feeling that he doesn't want to be married anymore? He has to make a decision about what to do that is well thought out and that he can llive with forever.
You are waaay young right now. Done properly, marriage lasts a lifetime so don't rush.
Also, how is he gonna move in with you if you are going to be long distance? Just curious on that point.
2007-03-07 13:24:24 · answer #3 · answered by Scott S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, some things to think about. My guess is at his age and where he is in his life, he's probably not ready to be engaged or think marriage. Women mature faster than men so I understand that you are ready to marry and there's nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't ask him to move in just yet. It doesn't sound like he's ready yet. If he's just now graduated college, he's going to want to blow off some steam, like hang out with friends, party, whatever the case may be. If this is the case, let him do what he wants to do. If your relationship goes through all of that, then you guys can think about it =) I spent my 20s worrying if I was going to settle down or not, I'm 35 and have not and I'm glad only because I'm more emotionally and mentally mature =) Keep me posted and good luck!
2007-03-07 13:24:23 · answer #4 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush getting married, you both have many many years to worry about that. Take the time up until fall to see if you really want to make the move of living together. If you are completely ready for the plunge, and he is not, than you will have to seek out someone that has the same goal as yours. If you have a good relationship, than stick it out, without the pressures of marriage. You both are young with not a lot of responsibilities yet, enjoy yourself & each other!
2007-03-07 13:22:44 · answer #5 · answered by MrsJ S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to get married, do not live together. I say this out of the experience of myself and my friends. If they get the benefits of marriage without the responsibility, it will be virtually impossible to get them to the altar. What you have to decide is, how important is getting married to me? He's only 22, it might be years before he's ready. I think the long distance relationship might be a perfect chance to see if this relationship is the real thing or if it's time to move on.
2007-03-07 13:22:55 · answer #6 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What's the rush? Don't move in before you get married... the probability that you'll break up or get divorced after you're married is much higher than couples who don't live together before marriage.
He's told you he's not ready to get married yet, so leave it at that. You haven't been dating all that long in the grand scheme of things. If you keep nagging him about it he'll run the other way.
2007-03-07 13:20:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I think that 24 is a young age to marry and 22 sounds even worse. I 'm not planning to think about marriage till I am 28+, cuz your age is a nice period that I wouldn't like to waste with a marriage =/. Sorry but, I 'd like to feel a teenager for as long as possible...
And if he 's not ready yet then it's definitely not going to work out.
Why can't you wait for him?
2007-03-07 13:22:29 · answer #8 · answered by moulin.rouge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to know answers to this question as well...but personally I think that a 23 year old guy is not ready for marriage...This is the age where they want to experience and grow...They don't know what they want at that stage...Give him time..if you pressure him things might not work out in the end...
2007-03-07 13:21:26 · answer #9 · answered by Alejandra2008 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really doesnt matter how old you are or how long you been dating, marriage is something you never want to rush. You should be lucky to have a guy that is smart. you guys are still young. But I do think it would be good for you guys to live togther, the say you never really know someone till you live with them, and from personal experience that is soooo true.
2007-03-07 13:23:12 · answer #10 · answered by dreamangel1102002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋