I broke up (impulsively) with my boyfriend of 2 years because a lot of things that matter to me, don't seem to matter to him. He is 5 years older than me (I'm 23), established in his career and focused on buying a house and getting married. It seems, that anything NOT in that line of thought is simply beneath him, even though he'd never SAY that. I'm 23, in college, and still enjoy being a social butterfly. I don't club hop or hang out with guys but I have A LOT of girlfriends. This seems to be where the friction comes from. ANYWAY...so I ended it this morning. Does this sound like a permanate problem, or something two people could work out??? (PS: we live together)
2007-03-07 04:58:23 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oops! Not to mislead anyone. I pay my own bills. He dosen't take care of me. And I don't party every night. I just still have a closley knit social group. But I have class five nights a week, I don't have time to party every night.
2007-03-07 05:05:43 · update #1
My advice: Go party!!! Enjoy your independence!
2007-03-07 05:01:30 · answer #1 · answered by michaelyoung_airforce 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a good move for you. You're both on different pages in the book of life. Either he waits for you to get older and want the same things as him, or it's not going to work. You can't hide what you really think and feel forever--it will come out because it shapes who you are and will find a way to surface.
I bet you're going to both be all teary eyed talking about "the breakup" later, and decide to get back together... especially if you live together.
Don't cry wolf and break up with someone just to make a point though--that's childish and useless. Maybe what you 2 really need to do is talk about what you want out of life and the relationship. If you both mutually decide that you're at different levels in your lives and cannot compromise in some way--then ACTUALLY break it off--move out, don't talk to one another frequently, etc.
If it's meant to be, it'll happen. Believe me.
2007-03-07 05:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by f8_smyled 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One, I am trying to figure out why you broek up with him? I must be missing something. Are you saying you broke up with your bf of 2 years b/c of some GIRLFRIENDS? But as for you, there is a age difference, but that does not mean anything....age is only a number. It does not sound like a permanate problem though. Since you guys live together, YOU should try to talk this out. Esp. if this is the only reason for breakingup with him, thats petty to me. Honestly, the fact that it happened today and you are asking for advice on yahoo, tells me that you are not sure with your decision or quesitoning it (same thing). So why not sit him down and talk......like adults. *Peace
2007-03-07 05:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you made the right decision. When you find the right guy at the right time, you'll just know. And it seems it happens when you least expect it. He may be a great guy, but it sounds like the timing just isn't there yet. You don't want to get in any deeper and have even more hurt feelings if there's no future there.
2007-03-07 05:06:43 · answer #4 · answered by MBN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this age difference, though not huge in numbers is very significant in terms of maturity, a man who is established in his career and headed towards his thirties, is clearly thinking about stability, marriage, family, and you, a college student, who has a great fun social life, are not. This is not your fault, or his, but i dont think either of you is going to magically work it out, he is going to keep on wanting what he wants, and you are going to keep on wanting what you want. Maybe it is simply time to part ways, sow your wild oats, and if you get it out of your system in a few years and he is still around and available you could try it again then, but for now, if you settle down with him and you havent got this all out of your system, you are going to be miserable!
2007-03-07 05:15:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Considering you are asking a bunch of strangers and not HIM if you can work it out, I would say it's a permanent problem. There are lots of other guys out there, though, so go ahead and be social. And who says you always have to have a man in your life at all times?
Be free!
2007-03-07 05:06:43 · answer #6 · answered by rangerbaldwin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is definitely something that can be worked out ONLY if both parteners want to. You both have to have the will power to work it out. If the will power isn't there than you two can forget it. That doesn't mean just because he says he is gonna try means he is really gonna try. You will be able to tell in around 2 weeks to a month if it will work.
2007-03-07 05:06:37 · answer #7 · answered by ~*Brandi Riggs*~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him?? Your 23 shouldnt you be thinking about marriage and things like that rather than going out and partying...but that is just me, i am 18 and i am already thinking about all that stuff, you are getting older not younger, if you dont love him then yeah you shouldnt be with him, but if you do then you should try to work it out- Good luck with you deal
2007-03-07 05:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by blackpanther06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing personal but you cut it off. if i was him i would be enjoying my new found freedom and look for somone with my same ideas. your 23 grow up all ready. here you had a guy who wasnt a bum worked and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you and buy a house to boot. sounds like you made a big mistake.
2007-03-07 05:04:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on when you plan on growing up and acting like an adult.
As long as you constantly hang out with your friends and ignore the REAL life that is going on behind you, you will continue to have problems.
Why you are out having fun, he's working, paying the bills, trying to plan your lives together, and focissed on keeping everythign running in the household.
unless you are ready to grow and act like an adult, let the man go so he can find a woman that is ready to li live in the real world.
2007-03-07 05:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by no1bucsfan26 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It just depends on what you and he wants. If you guys can compromise or just accept each other's differences and are willing to come up with a plan that will work, go for it. If you can not do that maybe you should just move on.
2007-03-07 05:03:08 · answer #11 · answered by shelly63795 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋