well every time i met a new guy i feel like i want to go out with him and that i like him but after i get to know him a lot better the feeling goes away. is it just that i miss being in a realationship or just subconsiousnes
2007-03-07 04:38:32 · 23 answers · asked by marielys m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is normal!
Have you ever heard of pheromones? They are a type of hormone that everyone has, which cause a chemical attraction between two people. We become attracted to someone based on our reaction to that person's chemicals, which is also influenced by or own psychological needs for companionship, to feel attractive ourselves, the desire for physical intimacy, etc. Then the affect of the pheromones wear off and we are left with (some people might say "stuck with" LOL) getting to know the person without being "drugged" so to speak. The period where we have this heady infatuation or crush is called the "honeymoon period." After it's over, you have a better ability to see someone more clearly and know if they are a "match" for you and your energy.
Once you start to know someone a little better, you can judge whether or not it is a relationship worth investing in. A good way to figure this out is to ask yourself whether the relationship requires more work at your expense than it is really worth (i.e., are you always trying to please someone who is never happy?), or is this person a "Yes" to life and to you? Do you feel enriched and appreciated by your involvement with this person or is it dragging you down? Or maybe this is someone whom you realized you're just not that crazy about - hey, it happens!
Also, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, although there is great value in being independent and developing yourself as a person without having to be part of a couple for satisfaction.
All the best to you...
2007-03-07 04:57:55 · answer #1 · answered by geoxena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters everyone loves attention unfortuantly even the bad attention. I feel you need to sit back and think about what it is you really want in a guy/relationship and stick with those standards that way when you met someone and you go out on the first and even second date you can see if he has potiental. It is not wrong to date or even be active dating a few guys as long as they all know you are only wanting to date. Think about it like this (sorry guys) men are like shoes if you wear a size 8 why would you try on a size 7 or 9 when you know they are not gonna fit. And when you do try on that size 8 you put it on your foot to see how it looks and see if it feels right and if it dont you put it back on the shelf to continue shopping.
2007-03-07 12:47:34 · answer #2 · answered by Rigssy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Mabye you feel lust. And as you get to know them and know what their about then you realize that he's not the kind of guy for you. It may be that you miss being in a relationship or you just cant read people that well. Why dont you try going out or asking a guy that your interested out? See how that goes.
2007-03-07 12:43:39 · answer #3 · answered by Alli 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you're normal. Go through as many guys as possible. One will come along that you want to see all the time. You are just weeding out the duds, don't settle. Find the guy who makes you happy. He's probably just around the corner, but until then have fun!
2007-03-15 10:34:30 · answer #4 · answered by Sunday P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i do the same thing and then when I'm in a relationship for a while i think that i am falling for someone else but when i get to know them i realize that i am falling for the "new feeling" not the person.
you probably just like the feeling of something new. and it could be that you need the feeling of being in a relationship i can't stand being alone so i would go from one relationship to the next.
don't do that get to know someone and try to make it feel new again. go on more dates and have him surprise you and you surprise him.
2007-03-07 12:45:13 · answer #5 · answered by nikki 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A lot of people feel this way. I personally have even felt myself feeling this way. You are probably longing for a relationship. Think about it: are most of your friends in relationships? If so, your interest in guys might be partially related to jealousy. You might also just want a companion. Even though you probably dont want to hear it, you just have to sit tight and wait for the right guy who keeps your interest. Good luck!
2007-03-07 12:44:40 · answer #6 · answered by sarah k 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are young and going through various changes and you are courious, be careful and enjoy your youthfulness. Perhaps, it is not time for you to get serious with anyone. You see, as you continue to get a little older, it gets harder to just walk away. Focus on learning, I know it sounds boring but in the long run it will pay off for you.
2007-03-07 12:43:24 · answer #7 · answered by 5-Stars 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is natural chemistry to want to find a mate. I was the same way before I got married. I dated many many guys and most were so great at first then became duds. You will know when you meet the right one just keep searching.
2007-03-07 12:43:23 · answer #8 · answered by dinkylynn 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you are fooling yourself that there is an attraction there and then once you get to know the guy you see him for what he is not what you want him to be. Are you desparate to be in a relationship? Try being a bit choosy.
2007-03-07 12:42:34 · answer #9 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe you aren't ready to get into a relationship. or maybe when you get to know him you don't like the person because they aren't who you think they are. or since you haven't had a relationship, the first thing that comes up you throw yourself at them because you have missed the comforting feeling for awhile.
2007-03-07 12:42:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋