Selfish or not ...should i stay with him....?

Question

I love him and he says he loves me, but also tells me i'm selfish.. he says i don't listen to him unless he agrees with me & i do things w/o thinking of his feeling, but i do. In everythin i do that affects the realtionship i think about the effects it has on both of us, but he disagrees. He says although i am selfish he still wants to be w/me becuz beyound that part of me i'm a great person...it makes no sense y some1 would want to be with a selfish person.. I told him that we should break up, but he called me a quitter and said i was quitting on us, but how can i be in this knowin dat i maybe selfish

Answer 1

ask yourself the question do only listen to his opinion when he agrees to your every need or whine then you are happy(if so... he wont be ) ,are you stubborn to the point that when he offers advice that you want to do it your way or find out on your own. if so then you are (critically) selfish meaning that he offers advice but you wont take because you take it as judgement or critcism you'd confuse the two .He wants you to have your own wants and needs separate from his.he wants you to come to him for anything but doesnt want you to do it on your terms all the time(He wants to spoil you but with less hassle) i once to felt this way about my girl he just doesnt knw how to tell you. it took me sec to come up with the words. And if you love him dont quit. theres nothing wrong to be a lil selfish but when he starts noticing it it is a problem.he wants you to have your own parts separate from him but maybe he doesnt want you to be materialistically selfish or emotionally selfish. One aspect is that he may feel your emotionally selfish and that he wants you to be able to see things his way for a change. whats wrong with that if he could do the same .hell its not going to be easy at first but if the relationship if worth it you'll do it. try this ask him what does he mean by be selfish and why does he want you to a lil selfish open up more to him and he may be able to find the words to tell you. Guys arent all that good with the big pow wows of emotions. girls have to cut into that deep void called the male heart to find out. ask him what specifically he means NOT VAGUELY. ask so many questions to the point that he gives up an maybe hell shut up (literally) i know i used to feel the same way and i had the same problem.....but if hes calling you a quitter what from my experience (In guy language) he means that he thinks that you are afraid to face challenges between the two of you to keep the relationship alive.If you run from the problems that you have you will never find the truth behind what the answer could be to save your future together.......... Everyone says break up right and usually those are the ones who cant commit to anything for long ...... but think how many of those people are happily married....or happy in life

Answer 2

Everyone has a bit of selfishness in them, you may do things and don't realize it may be selfish to the other person, but thats when communication comes in, obviously he cares or he wouldn't have bought it to your attention but thats not a reason to break up. There are alot of things he may do too that you think are selfish as well,you never know that same "selfishness" could be one of the things that attracted him to you,for example:you don't let people run over you make sure your needs and wants are taken care of first, he might just wish he was more like you at times and can't admit it. I think you guys should talk it out.

Answer 3

Girl nobody knows yourself like you do... Take that extra time to examine yourself and look at the things that you are and are not willing to change. Finally after all that is done sit down with him and ask him the things that he wants you to change and depending on his answer, as long as these attributes that he's asking for will not dampen your self-esteem, try! Try occasionally doing the things that he likes just to take the attention away from yourself for a little while. He likes basketball? Give him your undivided attention and sit and watch a basketball game wioth him for a half an hour. These are the things that men like!!! Just remember through this all you have to love yourself enough because nobody will love you like you...

Answer 4

first you could photograph existence without him if it makes you unhappy than you could try staying with him in case you pick to have exciting on account that your youthful than you could try chatting with him enable him now which you somewhat pick to have a splash of your guy or woman freedom till now settling down in order that as which you dont later in existence experience sorry approximately no longer doing particular issues and then finally end up resenting him and making it a plenty worse injury up, enable him be attentive to which you adore him and that he will nonetheless be a huge area of your existence yet once you might have that youthful feeling and the two one in each of you get by it you have got a plenty extra effective realationship interior the top and if he can no longer have confidence you than it probable wont artwork have confidence is between the main needed aspects in a sturdy healthful realationship you and him additionally should comprehend there's a huge distinction between have confidence and in simple terms jealousy i be attentive to all of this as i married whilst i replaced into 19 by skill of the time 20 got here to visit i felt comparable to you my husband did no longer comprehend and did no longer enable me stay my youthful years i wound up leaving finding lower back had he in simple terms gave me some loose time to be youthful i could have come residing house to him and we could probable been able to stay mutually i'm hoping this facilitates and the main suitable of success

Answer 5

Stop thinking about the way it makes you feel just compromise! Find something you both can agree on. Stay with him! U wouldnt be asking about this if you really didnt want to be with him.

Answer 6

I think it was pretty selfish of you to just break up with him like that. If you love him you will find your faults and fix them so you guys can grow together.

Answer 7

no, because i'm available!!!