What can I do to make her believe that I truly like her for her?
2007-03-07 04:19:18 · 48 answers · asked by deadlyrage 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
people like that always have insecurities...they always need to be told something to help them feel good about themselves....
tell her to do something about it or shut up....get on with your life.
you could spend the rest of your life trying to reassure her and you may never..sounds like she has issues she needs to work on for herself..
2007-03-07 04:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by txO3blueeyes 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow, this is a tough one. Unfortunately it's not because she's overweight that she's not trusting your feelings, but a lack of self-esteem. Patience and continuing your attention, affections toward her will eventually teach her that you can be trusted and that your intentions are real and true.
And for all you people here down on overweight people (i.e. they of course cannot have a good self esteem, they're gross, etc.), a low self esteem is not a symptom of being overweight, often it's having a low self esteem that causes people to overeat or not take care of their bodies to be healthy. Not to mention the fact that I know woman who are gorgeous, beautiful, size 4, 5, 6 who have horrible self esteems and self image. It's not looks that count, but who the person is on the inside. Grow up and quit being so shallow.
I've been there too. I think it was Groucho Marx who said (paraphrased) "I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member." Been there, felt that. But looks fade, weight comes on and goes off again, wrinkles settle in, while the heart and spirit remain and that's what you love about her. Just keep it up, take her out, continue to show her how much you care. Eventually, after she realizes you aren't going anywhere and you weren't just doing this for a laugh or two before getting bored, she'll open up to the possibilities. Right now she probably won't even let herself care about you. Not until she can feel secure. All you need is time and patience.
Good luck.
2007-03-07 04:26:30 · answer #2 · answered by Wonderin' 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make her understahnd that you think she is beautiful. I've been in this situation before when I was the overweight female. I felt that my bf was crazy to love me. I had no self-confidence. He helped me build that and realize that I am a beautiful and good person. You can try to help her build self-confidence, you can keep telling her that you love her and want no one else but her. This is a tricky situation because girls are very picky about their weight. You have to make her feel beautiful and good inside. Tell her that you love her everyday, tell her how special she makes you feel, give her compliments. Make her feel like a princess on the outside and the inside. If you commit everything to her she will she how much you are really there for her and how much you love her.
2007-03-07 04:27:12 · answer #3 · answered by beautifulstranger013 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO, NO, NO, don't help her loose weight. She will think you are a jerk for wanting her thinner. If she's not comfortable enough with her body, then she needs to be the one to make that change, by herself. If you know she's trying, then it is OK to give her support.
I suggest making her feel beautiful about herself the way it is now. Tell her how gorgeous you think she is all the time. Boost her confidence. Bring her shopping....Lane Bryant is an AWESOME place to shop for overweight women. They are great about finding a style you like and the size that makes you feel good about yourself.
2007-03-07 04:27:16 · answer #4 · answered by Angela D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to say I truly understand how she feels. I too was in a relationship with a really handsome guy and i am full figured. I could not get it through my head how someone like him could really care about me. i never accepted his compliments and i was so insecure about any true affection he showed me. i finally realized how much my insecurity was hurting our relationship. i decided to just trust that i was beautiful in his eyes and he was being sincere.
Give her some time and just keep caring about her and believe me she will come around. To me it was about building trust in his words and waiting to see if he was true and sincere before i allowed my heart to care about him without fear of being hurt or rejected.
It's all about self esteem and self perceptions. I hope and pray she come into the realization you really do care about her and you don't see her the way she sees herself.
I applaud you for being a sweet guy and not judging by the outside and seeing her with your eyes, but seeing her with your heart. she's a very lucky girl and I hope she knows it.
God bless you both and I hope you have a beautiful life together.
2007-03-07 04:31:50 · answer #5 · answered by softlyinspired 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know, some people just have low self esteem. she could have had a rough time growing up because of her size. also if you are what some people would call a dime then she probably thinks that someone as cute as you dosent really love her, but anyway just keep showing her and telling her, after a while she will understand that you really do love her. oh and also let her know that no matter what peole say or think...............................
BIG IS BEAUTIFUL
2007-03-07 04:26:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some overweight people don't think they can be attractive. She'll come around (hopefully) if you keep on gently showing you are in fact attracted to her. But she is likely to keep on being somewhat insecure about her looks.
Some people have such a bad body image of themselves that not much short of counseling can help them. Hopefully this is not true for your lady.
Something that can help is a makeover with beautiful hairstyle and new clothes. This sometimes makes a self-conscious person come out of their shell.
2007-03-07 04:24:14 · answer #7 · answered by charmedchiclet 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Just ask her out. Tell her that you like being around her, you like her company, you like talking to her, etc. Tell her you think about her all the time and you want to spend time with her. And it would be really great if she would go out with you.
Don't mention her weight or the way she looks. Just let her know that you are really dang interested in her and you wanna go out on a date with her! Ask her to a movie and dinner.
Cheers and Good Luck, hun
2007-03-07 04:25:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be with her all the time she wants and flowers and get her some counselling to build her self esteem up personaly i think ther's nothing wrong with liking an overweight person unless it effects her health
2007-03-07 04:24:04 · answer #9 · answered by walter_nahbexie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that the weight is not an issue at all. Don't try to glorify it to her because then she may feel bad about trying to lose weight if the 2 of you end up in a relationship. Tell her what you like about her that wouldn't change if she lost weight, ie. her smile, her eyes, etc., etc.
2007-03-07 04:24:08 · answer #10 · answered by Rosie B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You will have to put a little effort into this one. I'm betting her self-esteem is a bit low. Just tell her often how beautiful she looks, how sexy she is, how happy she makes you. Frequent physical displays of affection help.
2007-03-07 04:31:31 · answer #11 · answered by Rachel M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋