man says to wife your as* is the size of a 3 burner barbecue!
later in bed man says, do you fancy abit?
wife says no fuc*in point lighten a barbecue for half a sausage
2007-03-07 04:14:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
charlotte what eva lighten up
2007-03-07 04:19:36 · update #1
Hehe!
So I guess he did't BANGER
2007-03-07 04:19:29 · answer #1 · answered by Chris W 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋
here is one for you... there was a truck driver, he was driving in out in the country. he past a farm that he liked. So he stopped at the next farm and asked if the farmer new if the farm back there was for sell. the farmer said no. It's my daughters.The only way to get it is to marry her. The farmer asked the truck driver if he knew what a bag women is? The truck driver said yes. The farmer said that his daughter was a double bager. well a year latter the truck diver was working on the roof, he asked his wife to get him some nails. His wife ran, get the nails, get the nails, get the nails, got the nails, got the nails, got the nails. The he asked her to get the hammer. She ran, get the hammer, get the hammer, get the hammer, got the hammer, got the hammer, got the hammer. Then the truck diver hit his finger and yelled F***. His wife ran. get the bag, get the bag, get the bag, got the bag, got the bag. hope you like it.
2007-03-07 13:23:09 · answer #2 · answered by lilliebug06 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol
yes very funny but :
check this out:
Genie grants wishes to golfers wife
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A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf..... Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life. And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think? "
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"NO ****. Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"
lol
enjoy!
Regards
jam
2007-03-07 12:22:33 · answer #3 · answered by jam 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Not bad! hope you like this one! A little old lady was wallking a country lane. When a little white duck waddled in front of her covered in dirt.The old lady said "look at the state of you" and cleaned him with a tissue. Further down the path another white duck waddled in front her and again covered in dirt. She said" look at the state of you" and cleaned the duck with another tissue. The old lady continued to walk down the path she passed a hedge. A voice appeared from behind the hedge which said " excuse me excuse me" the old lady replied " yes dear" the voice behind the hedge said "have you got any more tissues left?" The old lady replied " no sorry" so the voice said" ill have to keep using the fu*king ducks then!"
2007-03-07 12:33:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's a good one!
2007-03-07 12:18:54 · answer #5 · answered by Danru 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
very good (typical return from a woman??)
2007-03-08 02:19:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice one
2007-03-07 13:17:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
10/10 great!!!
2007-03-07 14:10:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you tell'him girl.
2007-03-07 12:20:18 · answer #9 · answered by Jersey girl on Florida. 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
great joke brilliant
2007-03-07 12:18:39 · answer #10 · answered by barn owl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋