Boyfriend has female friend (close friends with her man as well) who expressed her intentions to move to their friendship to the next level. Only way I found out was our daughter saw her text calling him "baby". I asked him to her stop communicating with her, he agreed. Three weeks later, I found more messages on our phone bill and he admitted he kept in touch with her because he didn't want to give up her friendship. They were texting each other 1st thing in the morning and late into the night. We argued, he called her and told her no more communications of any kind and it was nice to have had her as a friend. I mean I was okay with them being friends until I found out she tried to cross the line. Was I wrong to give him an ultimatum? I mean if the shoe was on the other foot, I would NEVER hear the end of it because he is jealous.
2007-03-07 04:04:36 · 8 answers · asked by Tiger 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My bf and I are very good friends with this girl's man. Should my bf come clean and tell him what has been going on and she tried to take it to the next level? Is this something I should have my bf do to prove himself and how serious he is about letting her friendship go? I feel bad about how I've been lied to but I feel bad for him too because he is a really good guy who doesn't deserve to be lied to or be left so clueless. The thing is, my bf doesn't want to lose his friendship with her bf.
2007-03-07 05:39:07 · update #1
No, you were not wrong for standing up for the respect that you deserve. I've seen this happen before and unfortunately it's often not one-sided. Meaning that it's not often just the woman who decides she wants more from her friendship with attached guy, but there is flirting going on both ways (just texting her early morning, late at night is "flirting" enough to a woman when she knows he's got a girlfriend and child). The fact that he was cool to tell her that they could no longer be friends makes me think that he really loves you, values you because he's willing to give up this other relationship for the sake of yours.
It's possible that he got a little addicted to having this other woman "want him." A big ego boost and it's more that than the friendship that he was reluctant to give up. Don't backtrack or go back on your ultimatum, the truth is you should never have been forced to make it; however, if you gave your guy super duper kudos (you know, that ego stroking that mean seem to need as much as air and water) for it and try to make up for the ego boost he was getting from this other woman, I think things'll be smooth from here on out and you won't have to worry about him going back on his word.
You're right, a man would be super jealous if the shoe was on the other foot!
2007-03-07 04:19:16 · answer #1 · answered by Wonderin' 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is okay for him to have a friend that is a girl. I mean my best friend is a guy. But it sounds like they were trying to make it more than a friendship. This is when it becomes not okay. It would be different if they talked only once or twice a day but not first thing every morning and last thing every night.
2007-03-07 04:11:24 · answer #2 · answered by pinkbabiesr07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you weren't wrong. If this woman is trying to be more than a friend there is no way you should have to put up with that. I am really beginning to think that men and women can't really be friends. There's just too much baggage.
2007-03-07 04:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No , You weren't wrong at all, the samething happend to me, my bf had a girl as a friend, she also went over board, she would call him , and I told him if he talked to her again I would leave him, and he told her that how I felt about them, and he droped her as a friend.
2007-03-07 04:15:09 · answer #4 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally I have alot to say but you answered your own question. And you were not wrong for doing that, because she crossed the line, and she wasnt respecting you.
2007-03-07 04:12:14 · answer #5 · answered by lefteye w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - you did the right thing! He was cheating on you, and you stood up for yourself and demanded the loyalty and respect you deserve.
2007-03-07 04:10:40 · answer #6 · answered by Craig H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope - you did the right thing. However, keep in mind that they will find another way to communicate.
2007-03-07 04:44:00 · answer #7 · answered by Admiral 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gotta do what you gotta do................they BOTH were crossing the line though. Hope you know him enough to trust him.
2007-03-07 04:10:19 · answer #8 · answered by Stitch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋