A baby at 41? I am hoping for positive feedback?

Question

I just turned 41 and DESPERATELY want another baby. My husband thinks I have lost my mind. We have a 7 year old & I really want her to have a sibling. And- I desperately want another.
My husband is 46.
Any thoughts?
Thank you!
L

Answer 1

Although your chances increase of having miscarriage or a baby with special needs, chances are still that you would have a normal, healthy baby.

Answer 2

I think older moms are often better equipped for motherhood than younger moms. Older moms have more life experience and are usually more financially stable. You may hear comments on how much energy it takes to raise a child. Your energy is in your attitude. I am raising 3 children ages 7, 3 and 1 with Multiple Sclerosis. My doctors have offered me medicine for the extreme fatigue. I have never complained of fatigue to them because I didn't know it was a symptom. As soon as they told me I should be fatigued all the time, I started feeling tired. I had to re-adjust my thinking and now my energy is right back where it was. I have more energy than most of my friends who are perfectly healthy. It is all in the attitude! Do what makes you happy, who cares what other people think. If your body is healthy, there is no reason not to have a baby in my humble opinion. Good luck.

Answer 3

If your doctor thinks you are healthy enough and you feel you can handle all the work of a newborn plus the 7 year old, it sounds fine, as long as your husband is 100% on board. For big life decisions like this, a married couple has to be in it together or else you'll both end up resentful.

Good luck!

Answer 4

That sounds great! You are never too old for a baby if you are still able to conceive. Plus you have experienced more of life, so you are better able to raise your child in a good environment, because you have lots of life experience. Did you know that there are some cultures who have the grandparents raise the children? The parents are still the parents of course, but they consider the wisdom of the older generations a better foundation for the child. I think this is really intelligent. Can you imagine how we would all turn out if we were raised by an older generation, rather than young people who are still trying to find themselves, and get a stable life set? I am a young mother, and I deal with this all the time. Trying to get my life in order for the most stable foundation for my kids, and also trying to discover myself in the process, all while trying to teach my children the facts of life to the best of my abilities, when I still have so much to experience myself. I think you will be a wonderful parent. Go for it! I know my parents never were completely confident in their parenting, until I had my son, and they became grandparents, and they gave the best advice I could have ever received. Good luck!

Answer 5

This has to be something BOTH you and your husband really want. Not just you. As far as a sibling for your daughter goes, they would be too far apart to have the kind of sibling relationship you are hoping for. Then there is the age factor. I know 40 is supposed to be the new 30, or whatever, but that's only in Hollywood. The risk of birth defects (if you can conceive at all) is related to both the mother's and the father's age. I think that ship has sailed, my dear. Enjoy the child you have, and be happy!

Answer 6

Here's some definate positive feedback. Have another baby! 41 is young nowadays! You will enjoy everything about your pregnancy, the birth, the baby more at your current age than when you had your first. And you'll be an even better parent. Do it! Good luck and best wishes to you and your family.

Answer 7

I say best of luck to you. I am 31 with a 15 year old and also desperately want another child.My husband thinks I've lost my mind as well. He says that we are almost to the 18 mark, why start again? I say, go for it.

Answer 8

Well the media says that today's 30 is yesterday's 20. I guess they are right. People live longer now. Go for it! I wish you the best. I am 45 and I am looking forward to grandchildren. My youngest is 19 and I am happy that I no longer need a baby sitter and worry about helping with homewrok etc. Good luck. I just am too tired and too care free now to even think such a thing. Each to their own!

Answer 9

We have had many advances in medical care and technology fto make it safer for women around this particular age to have children and/or become pregnant. As you already know there are increased risks associated with later-age pregnancy to watch out for.

The Facts

Standard medical teaching indicates a higher risk for pregnancy complications in women over the age of 35. These complications can be categorized as follows:

Medical illnesses affecting the mother and fetus

Genetic abnormalities and birth defects

Pregnancy loss

Complications of labor and delivery

As age increases beyond age 35, so does each of these risks. Nevertheless, proper preparation before pregnancy and early prenatal care can help assure the best outcome.

Answer 10

Talk with your doctor first and see what they say. You do know that the risk of mental retardation, such as Down Syndrome are of a much higher risk to you at this age? If you do decide to become pregnant you will have test done around 18weeks to see if your baby is at risk. Here's a thought, have you ever thought of adopting a child, I would personally love to some day, that is why I suggest that. Good luck to you and I hope your family works everything out.

Answer 11

There are people having babies well over 40 it is not a new thing. My grandmother had her last child about about that age. Which happened to be my Aunt. It is very hard for only children, I know. I bet your child would welcome a new brother or sister. It is much easier to have two than one. Think about when the child ages how much companionship that would be to have a sibling? I wish you the best