Help! my son is totally disrepectful twds me & his father...?

Question

everytime we try to give him "corrective criticism" about anything (from brushing his teeth to being polite to people) he huffs & puffs & acts like we are the bad guys...he is demanding & selfish...I tell him all the time that he does NOT dictate what goes on in the house he is 10! I do not believe in meds...He dosent listen to us at all & constantantly answers us back about everything...help!

Answer 1

this is totally normal for his age.
Just lay your foot down and say brush your teeth or no TV.
Taking the TV away or just the threat of the TV taken away
works miracles.
He is going thru that age, and believe me girls are even worser
than boys at that age.
he will get better.
Find him some hobbies like hiking, gardening,outdoors activities,skating etc.
It does get better

Answer 2

Great news he's normal, I'm sure you already new that. Our biggest problem with our sons at that age was that we parents were inconsistent. The more consistent you are and the more you enforce the rule the more change you hopefully will see. It was harder than we thought, because we didn't see ourselves as push overs. But there were alot of times we still let them watch TV or talk to friends on the phone, go for a bike ride, etc. But as soon as we enforced our rules we saw different kids. It takes time and I had to write myself notes like did not brush teeth without argument so no phone tonight. Good luck and know others have been experiencing the same thing.

Answer 3

Remember you are the parent, you need to take toys, and privileges away from him, no going out with friends he goes to school and comes home no xbox, internet tv ect.
and personally I would tell him if his behavior does not improve that all summer long you will take him camping where he does all the work and is alone with just family all summer.
I love how people always tell you its just that age or its a faze baloney, for century's parents have been raising well behaved and respectful children who grow up into responsible members of society there is no reason not to demand respect for what you give your children. However you must also act in a manner that children can respect.
You are there parent not there friend, they will have lots of friends but you are there only parents.

Answer 4

Have you been too good to him even spoilt him a little a lot of us do it and it sometimes comes back to bite us.
He will probably change his attitude again when he goes to high school in the mean time make sure this is for the better or he could just go worse as he gets older nip his attitude in the bud now give him more of your time and less material things try to teach him values and respect make sure you praise him when he`s done something well, try to share in his interests you will have cracked it when he wants you to feel proud of him for something he has accomplished criticism will just turn him off.Oh the joys of parenthood very stressfull sometimes it dos`nt get much easier with your grand kids.

Answer 5

I agree that you must not reason with him. As soon as things become a discussion they know they can get away with it beacsue you are not strong enough to lay down the law.

Tell them outright what you want to happen, dont shout but make sure you are very clear...and mean it.

Take things away from him, dont use idle threats...actually do it.

Make him work for what he wants.

Dont send him to his room if it is full of toys and gadgets, send him to the shed or end of the garden instead.

Make sure that you and your husband are on totally the same page, dont let one give in then this turns into good cop bad cop and your son will exploit that.

If he has a hobby or sports team stop him from going until he earns it.

Ignore him when he is being annoying...dont respond to everything he says.

It may not work at first (especially if he is very clever) but DO NOT GIVE UP!!! It will work in time.

Answer 6

List all the things he gets that he doesn't need to live:

1. Toys
2. Eating out.
3. Speaking to you.
and so on.

Make him begin earning these privileges as they have now become. He doesn't get these things without first being a person who you want him to be. IE if you don't brush your teeth suggestions are: 1. I'm going to brush for you, 2. You will lose TV time until you brush your teeth. and You need to brush your teeth 12 times between Monday and Sunday evening in order to earn X (possibly allowance?), Y (Xbox time each night?)

It helps if you create house rules for him to follow. List how you expect him to behave, what he needs to do around the house and attach rewards and consequences to them. If he doesn't do these things you need to be consistent with them or he won't believe you are serious. Praise each small step forward. Reward the big things he continues to do. Reward and consequence consistently. Don't give in to him. Tell him the rules once and expect him to follow them. When he doesn't remove privileges until he does. Also, get him involved with positive kids, positive activities and don't let what's going on at home and with you affect that he does or does not go to these things: boy scouts, basketball, clubs...

Answer 7

GOOD LUCK!!!!!


The reason he acts like that is because you have allowed it for so long that that is what he is used to...he has either been extremely spoiled and handed everything he has wanted or seriously neglected to the point to where he just doesnt care anymore.


I know that if he is doing this stuff in school and is making it hard for other kids to learn that WILL make you put him on meds or you will have to home school him under very close supervision by the school board!

Answer 8

your son might be asserting his independence, and wishes to use his OWN BRAIN, instead of having to listen to others give him constant instruction. he is growing up!

10 year olds seem to see everything as black or white.... there is normally NO grey area in their thinking (i was a cub scout leader, and this seemed to be true most individuals of this age group). his behavior is likely rather normal for children of that age.

i have to wonder why he has to have instructions about brushing his teeth?

i have two kids 19 and 30... of course, i've given them advice from time to time, but i didn't try to control their every move. they had to live by MY rules in my home (including being respectful of others); however, i let them be individuals at the same time..

i don't live in your house, so i don't know your exact situation. if you have concerns about your child's emotional well-being perhaps take him to his pediatrician or family physician for advice? and allow the doctor and your son to "talk" alone.

it could also be the onset of hormones... even if he's "only 10".

my younger son was in therapy for a while, and he really "trusted" his therapist (we were in the throws of divorce, and he was having problems). It was likely a relief for my son to be able to talk with someone who would listen to his problems in confidence, and who had helpful suggestions for him.

you are never required to take medication or accept a prescription. if this isn't an option, then don't do it!

be consistent about your house rules... and try to let your son learn about the world his own way -- unless what he is trying to do would present danger to him, of course.

that is my best "advice" and i think that, with love, support and consistency, everything will work out in due time.

take care

Answer 9

First of all, do you chastise your son? Because it says in the bible, "do not spare the rod", which means if your child is doing something bad or disrespectful then whoop him. I didn't say BEAT him, but maybe a whooping will set him straight. And you also have to be stern and consistent with him, if you tell him that he can't do something, stand by your word, and don't back down, because if you back down, then he will realize that he can get his way, and I promise you, he will try! I hope this was some helpful information

Answer 10

this is going to sound completely cruel, but it might just work...whenever your son is disrespectful, calmly tell him to rephrase what he has to say in a more respectful way. If he doesn't, ignore everything he says until he does. Send him to his room (this always worked when I was young because we weren't allowed to have tv's in our rooms, just a stereo, or we could read a book) until he apologizes for being rude. Praise him when he's polite. If he asks for something, calmly ask him if he thinks he deserves it based on the way he has acted, and give him examples of his bad bahavior. He is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong.

Answer 11

Discipline! You might need to smack his behind a couple times, or take away toys and priviledges.

You cannot reason with a child because they don't grasp that yet. You must enforce rules and regulations, and when a child breaks them, you don't give them "criticism" because a child does not care about criticism.

If the child misbehaves, then you punish him. If you don't, you're only doing him an injustice, for he will not learn valuable social behaviors and he will suffer from it as an adult.