help me out here...my boyfriend and i have been together awhile,enough time for me to think about telling him some things about my past that he needs to know, some bad stuff i went thru with my ex-bf...i want 2 be honest with him and know if he truly loves me...
we were alking on the phone about where our relationship was headed and so i told him that i had something important to tell him about my past, something that i'd been wanting to tell him but was difficult for me to do so. i also told him that if he were to decide to end things with us, i would understand. basically, i was stripping myself of every wall i'd ever put up and i felt really vulnerable. he replied with an 'ok'...wow...and what's worse, he had an anxiety attack. After he had basically calmed down, I said 'we're as good as done, aren't we...' and he said that the past is in the past and that his feelings for me wouldn't change...he lives 3 hours away, and tomorrow, he's coming over so i can tell him in person...
2007-03-07 03:10:07 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i would really appreciate everyone's point of view..thank you.
2007-03-07 03:34:23 · update #1
The past is the past, but if it is something that effects you to this day and possibly your relationship and you feel like you need to tell him then tell him. You've already opened up the can of worms, now it's time to let them out. Maybe he won't react as bad as you think, don't beat yourself up. If you guys are going to have a longterm serious relationship and more importantly if you feel you can trust him then this is something that should make you feel much better. i hope everything works out. And just remember things that happen to you in life, good or bad, make you the person you are today. And you're still here alive and kickin and able to tell your story so that's something to be thankful for. You can only be who you are inside and out and if he can't love or appreciate you for the things that make you YOU then he is not the one. Good luck.
2007-03-07 03:19:08 · answer #1 · answered by nikkid6910705 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what happened in the past is affecting your relationship with your bf, then you tell him everything. Now, you might feel guilty if you have done something bad, but that doesnt mean you have to tell him either. He says he loves you, and please understand that YOU, is what you are now, not what you were in the past. If you still think of what you did with your ex, then maybe you have feelings for him. You're in a current relationship, and that all has to be new, and yes forget about the past. Relationship is of two, for example, two circles, join them together, but not all the way... Leave a gap for your circle, and a gap for his circle, cause if not it becomes only one circle.... That gap is for your privacy, we all need privacy, and there are things that you just cannot say. But now if your bf can listen to you, and understand what you have to say.... then go ahead and clear your mind.... It is tough, but I hope everything turns out good
2007-03-07 11:23:39 · answer #2 · answered by guerrero0020 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with him, and if he can truly accept it, then you may have a life-long relationship. If he can't accept it or starts to throw it in your face, better to know now than later. People either love you for who you are, or they don't and aren't worth spending a lot of time and energy on.
2007-03-07 11:17:30 · answer #3 · answered by Alicia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, the past is the past...we can not relive it or go back and change it...all we can do is learn from it.
there is no question about your boyfriend, but he will either accept it and go on or flip out and move on
be cool...
2007-03-07 11:17:21 · answer #4 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋