A question for homeschool parents and non homeschooling parents?

Question

I address both groups because of the large number of publicschool teachers that come to this site to check things out from time to time.
My question is, what does it mean to you when someone says, "it takes a village" to raise a child, and what do you think that phrase means to others, especially the decision makers in the US?
If your view differs from that of the decision makers, do you think the two groups will ever be reconciled, or will the gap continue to grow?

As usual, the homeschool parents are on top of this issue. ;)
Seems coolmom and melissa are "on to me."
I hope this quesiton makes people stop and think what "it takes a village" means to them, because it may not be what the politicians mean, so if you say, blindly, that you support the village idea, then you may be supporting the exact opposite of what it means to you.
good answers from most. thanks for your input.

Answer 1

I am 28 years old, married, and a mother of 2. One is in school. My son has some learning problems and I have to seek help where I can get it and right now its the community I live in. My son is not willing to read or do his school work around me so I have had to find better ways to address that and found he liked being around different people then who sees him every day. I wish I knew why this is so I can be the one to help him.

So when we moved to a retirement community kind of town in Arizona I got to know my neighbors really well and asked for a bit of help. I asked them if my son could read to them and boy was I greeted with open arms to that one. With me having him so young my mom is still young and grandparents to me are a different view for him. So I taught him a bit about my grandparents and showed him pictures of mine since I have only 2 left they aged very well. I told him all the things I learned from mine and told him that grandparents and great grandparents are the best at showing you the past and helping you deal with things now. I never put the word old in his head ever when I talk about the people around me so he calls them grandma and grandpa. The people around here get a kick out of it and are helping him with his reading.

I hope my son understands a bit more with life getting to know people of all ages.

Answer 2

It takes a village...buzzwords that got a lot of attention for one particular politician, she'll probably drag it back out when she runs for president.

The fact of the matter is, no one really knows what is meant by this phrase, it's so vague that it's open to interpretation. I don't particularly want anyone else's input on my children, I know them best, and once the village starts having input, then they start expecting you to do everything their way. Even worse, it seems to be a buzzword for spending taxpayer dollars on any and every public service project that is deemed village enough for the presenting legislator. Drag out the ol' buzzword and be guaranteed your votes by people who don't want to explain to their constituents why or what they voted for. They'll defend it with the village speech.

What it takes is an intelligent parent who is willing to be open to suggestions, and a 'neighborhood' of support, people she can talk to for suggestions, without criticism. Whether it's extended family, or an 'auntie' who lives down the street, or church, or any organization she talks to. It doesn't take a 'village', and it has nothing to do with a child, it's about the parents!!!

Answer 3

The reason I homeschool is because the school system couldn't work for my sons. They have a disability which means that for them the whole school envioroment is hell for them. I have never left my kids in daycare and decided, after my 7yo came home threatening to kill himself and saying how he would do it that homeschooling was a neccessity for our family. Now while it might have started out that way I wouldn't change it . My boys are calmer and happier and that flows on to the household. They are great mates and we socialize on a regular basis because we want to not because we should. They are learning our morals and ethics and it really is the best decision we could have made for them. It only takes a few hours a day and then we do the fun things.

Answer 4

Comments like the one made by Mr. Z, the "school teacher", about homeschooling really irritate me. At least my child will learn correct grammar, not improper grammar such as "we have all went to school", as he remarks.

When my child wasn't performing well in school, the answer that his teachers came up with was to "put him in the back of the classroom with a piece of paper and a pencil and let him do whatever he pleases for the entire period." That's why I homeschool. Also, I know that there are now illegal drugs or violence in his school. I know that he will not be bullied by a "gang" or hassled by bigger kids on the bus. I know exactly what he's learning, and I know that is what I want him to learn, because I choose his curriculum. He gets one-one-one attention and, having understood what he has been taught, he doesn't have to wait until others have been helped before he can move on. He doesn't have to struggle because he can't get the individual help that he needs to understand what he cannot fully comprehend.

My son's teachers have returned "corrected" tests with comments with misspellings and improper English. Is this who I want my child to learn from? Someone who can't even bother to learn how to speak the language in which they are teaching?

My son, who was failing in public school, now makes mostly 80's and 90's. He learns more in three hours than most other children learn in a week. He feels safe in school, now, which helps him to learn because he doesn't have to worry about the kids that used to pick on him in public school. He doesn't have to walk the halls where other boys (some of whom were in his grade but 2-3 years older than he) terrorized him on a daily basis.

That is why I homeschool.

Answer 5

To me, it means that we need the support of community members to help us raise our children. I don't know that the decision makers think about that at all. If they do, they must see it as handing over our children to the village instead of just having the support of the village.

If more homeschoolers got into areas of decision making, then we would definitely see some positive changes. :D

Answer 6

I totally agree with Mr Z. I am considering home schooling my 12 yr old son because the "village" so to speak is doing a good job only in the aspect of negativity in my son. I have found the public school he is in now not to really care about his well-being. He came home with 6 behavior slips on his report card and they wanted me to approach this with discipline, but yet, I never knew about these behavior slips until the 6 weeks were already over. Just things like that that are helping me make my mind up about home schooling.
God gave us our children and I think it is our responsibility to raise them and not put them off on others to instill morals and values. The "village" can often instill things in them that you may regret someday.

Answer 7

To me the phrase means what it says.

It takes more that just parents to raise their kids these days. With more and more parents that are both working outside the home. When my kids are at school i am trusting that they are being treated like human beings, when they are out playing my nieghbors watch out for them, and I do the same with their kids, when we are at ball games and a child strikes out, all of the parents are telling the kids its fine, don't worry.

When our teenagers are out and about and someone I know sees him/her, I want them to tell me if they aren't acting appropiately.

My opinion of village to is watch out for others, we are all one "village" and we need to help our fellow man. I can do the punishing, I can do the scolding, but I need your help in keeping them safe and free from harm.

It does take a village to raise kids. I am doing the best to teach them values and responsiblity, but I do need help sometimes.

My 9yr old volunteers at an adult day care center in the summer time. He loves it because he says he is "doing his part".

I hope this helps you and answers your question. And I hope my views are similar to the decision makers. I would hope that they have the best interest at heart for our young people.

Answer 8

I homeschool much to the dislike of other responders to your question.

I do agree wtih the teacher that the phrase "it takes a village" is being used as an excuse for poor parenting. It's not hard to take that phrase out of line becasue it was taken out of line by a certain author.

I homeschool my kids first. This is where I can teach the values they weren't getting in school. I can develop work ethic and attitude here, while getting the material appropriate for their age and interests.

Our village is the community we participate in. Our church is just one part of our village. Our athletic associations, homeschool coop, and my husband's masonic lodge are all part of our village.

As homeschoolers, we choose to take the time to support our village. We are at our church supporting Sunday school, video productions, Lutheran World Relief, and several other ministries.
We are coaching soccer when we are needed. We are supporting parent teams in Little League. My husband is teaching score keeping so we can support others and give the opportunity for others to support the village as well. We work with our homeschool coop. We support the other families just as much as they support us. We are supportive of our masonic lodge becasue they need us. Our kids participate in everything we are invloved in becasue we are a team, not separate individuals with separate lives, living under one roof.

Our village is everywhere we are. Our village is also our own family.

I don't see reconciliation between schools and homeschoolers coming for at least another generation. This is greatly because there are decision makers in the US (including a certain book author previously mentioned) who wish to control lives of others. This certain author in a U.S. Senator who would love to take away your Bill of Rights. These decision makers have done a very good job of telling people what to be because it fits with their adgenda. There is too much desire to conquer and divide our nation by these decision makers for any kind of agreement to happen. Most homeschoolers In know would rather be allowed to make their own decisions rather than being told what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. Homeschooler are willing to work with these people and defend them. Unfortunately, there has been such a severe lack of trustworthiness, that the Home School Legal Defense Association was formed.

As a homeschooler, I would love the right to not be discriminated. I don't like anyone being criticized for being different. I don't understand why decision makers have done such a good job making negative portrayals of cultural groups for the rising of others. That sounds to me like nothing has changed for the sake of humanity. If certain groups want acceptance, then they should be willing to accept everyone themselves. I don't see that happening in the US at this time. This is why I feel that the two different groups will not be able to make reconciliations in this generation.

Answer 9

I totally agree that it takes a village to raise a child.I feel that a child who feels safe and cared for anywhere they go is a wonderful thing for them.My child interacts with a lot of different kinds of people.If each person he comes in contact with taught him something new how is that a bad thing?The homeless man who he hands a sandwich to thanks him,he is taught gratitude.If he is crying and a lady offers him a tissue,he has learned compassion.Yes,I have taught him these things but others showing him may help him to remember from example.

Answer 10

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