When did you allow your grade schooler to stay home by themselves?

Question

I have a 9 yr old daughter in 3rd grade and I've recently allowed her to start "practicing" staying home by herself, only for about 10 minutes at a time while I go down the street to a neighbor's. Safety and rules were discussed MANY times and she always has the ability to reach me w/my cell phone. I've put this in a framework that I think she's responsible and trustworth - which she loves to hear - and that if rules are followed then after a while we can eventually "up" the time.

A few of my friends have agreed with me, a few have thought I'm starting too young. I think it's important to boost our kid's self esteem and help them achieve independence and I'm just curious at how others have handled this.

Answer 1

10 mins is not to long to step out. She needs to start somewhere. My 12 year old can stay in the house by himself. He knows the rules and I go over them every time I have to leave. He says

"I know. No answering the door and only pick up the phone if it you, dad, or me maw or pepaw. Your cell phone number is on the phone and if there is an emergency call 911. I KNOW. GOD you say it all the time"


LOL

At least I know he knows it and i will continue to go over the rules with him when I leave.

Answer 2

The answer we should all ask is "what is in the best interest of the child." What is the rush in boosting your child's independence at such a young age? This is not an appropriate age legallyto have a child at home alone. If something happens to your child you will be held responsible and risk the law stepping in (Child Protective Services). You even risk losing your child if something happens while they are left alone. A child needs adult supervision for their own protection and guidance. Can a 9 or 10 or 11....defend themselves? Why should they be put in that kind of position in the first place? What is more important than a child's safety and well being? How many children in this country are kidnapped, raped and killed? We live in a volatile world and this is the reality, regardless. Some make this a matter of convenience, but is it in the child's best interest? That in my humble opinion should be the real question, "what is in the best interest of my child. " Evil things are happening to kids all of the time. These things happen when opportunity strikes . Emotionally a child should feel safe. This is America. Check the stats. Crime is up, and this is real. There are many ways to boost a child's esteem, and teach them responsibility. Most child that stay home watch TV unsupervised, play with videos games and are using the computer. Things have gotten so bad in this nation that there are now preditor laws to protect children against online pedaphiles. Why not leave your child with a trusted relative or babysitter. Put your child in some sort of program, but by no means leave them alone. You obviously care for you child's well being and that is why you left this question. Again I am only saying this because I feel we should first ask ourselves "what is in my child's best interest."

Answer 3

In the state where I live a 10 year old can be left alone for one hour as long as there are no other children present.

However, with her level of maturity, I would not trust my daughter at home by herself for more than a few minutes. Her father on the other hand had started leaving her alone for one to two hours before and after school when she was 9 years old. She is 12 in 5 days. I'm still not comfortable leaving her home alone.

It does depend a great deal on responsibility and maturity of the child. And a full complete understanding of safety and rules helps too.

Answer 4

I'm not sure why everyone is so paranoid about leaving a nine year old home alone, unless your in a bad neighborhood. If they are responsible, follow the rules and know the routine, what is wrong with that. It's not like you leave her there for hours alone, with no means of contacting you and it doesn't push them into being an adult. Kids should be able to handle being alone for a short time, how else are they going to learn to be independent and trustworthy.
There was several times when I couldn't get home in time and both my kids were left alone for 20 to 30 min. (when they were 8& 10 yrs old). The house didn't burn down (they were not allowed to use the stove), friends were not allowed, they were not allowed to leave (until I got home) and I would always phone to make sure they got home safely. Nobody was injured and nobody died. They were happy to carry on after school by themselves and were not at all bothered by having to act responsible for a short time.
Today they are teens and lead a happy carefree life, if anything, being left alone taught them to be self sufficient and more trustworthy. I had no problems but I'd be careful on who your telling about leaving her home alone. There are a lot of nosy people out there, just waiting to phone social services on you for some reason. I honestly believe these people have nothing better to do but to cause havoc on others ( I think they feed off of it). Good luck in whatever you decide.

Answer 5

I have 2 daughters, aged 10 and 11 who just started this year walking home and are by themselves for about 2 hours every day. I don't think this would be the case if there were only one of them though. If I only had 1 child, I don't think I would allow them to stay alone until they were at least 12.

Answer 6

as long as you're just at a neighbors house only a few huses away and you can be reached, then 10-15 minutes seems okay. i wouldn't go to the store or anything like that though. i started the same thing when my boys were about 10. i didn't let them stay home for any length of time til they were about 12-13. a lot depends on responsible they are.

Answer 7

9 is pretty young - personally with all the sickos out there i just keep my kids with me so I know they are safe. I didn't leave my oldest alone until she was 16 and then only for a few hours (4) I had less worries when she baby sat because I knew the little ones would tell me about it later. It is up to you and where you live and what the situation is. Take it on a case by case day by day and hopefully it will be OK.

Answer 8

You asked, so I'm answering. 9 yrs old is too young. There are too many things that could go wrong, even if you are just down the street. I would also advise you to check with the state you live in as to the laws concerning unsupervised minors. Most states have laws against leaving children under 12 yrs old alone.

Answer 9

If your daughter is mature enough and comfortable with being home by herself, she is old enough. You are a good judge of her maturity level and ability, and it sounds as though you are doing the right thing by discussing rules, being available, etc. There may be times when it is more appropriate for her to be home alone than others, depending on where you live, etc. I really like the idea of practicing. I started babysitting myself when I was about 10 years old, but I know my 10 year old son isn't ready to stay home by himself for extended periods, let alone do any babysitting. We do allow him to be home alone when we are in the neighborhood, or just running to the grocery store a few minutes away, if he feels comfortable. Follow your gut and your daughter's lead, and you will be choosing wisely for her.

Answer 10

If it's in the neighborhood, 10 minutes is usually fine as long as you know your child can handle it. By the time my child was 10, I would let her stay alone while I ran quickly to the store. Now at 12 1/2 years old, she can be alone for a few hours.