Please help my grandmother?

Question

I live with my mother, father, younger sister and grandmother. Recently I noticed my grandmother has been sometimes mumbling little odd things that don’t fit into the conversation. I once walked in on her crying, but she shrugged it off when I mentioned it. She used to love knitting but barely touches the needles anymore. This picked up after my grandfather’s death. Am I overreacting, and are these two things related?

Answer 1

You dont say when your grandad died because she might well be grieving,or just talking to him as if he is still there to give herself comfort-she could be lonely missing his every day precence.you are definatley not over reacting,when someone you love is either in pain,you are in pain same as seeing them cry,you feel like crying with them.She sounds depressed,most probably through her loss.You are sensative to her moods,so you must be very close to your grandma,so watch and observe,she will talk to you when she is ready.Another question is is she on any medication for infection-A classic sign of infection in older people is they can talk to themselves,because of temperature.If you are in any doubt whatsoever try and get her to the doctors.

Answer 2

I'm pretty sure she is depressed. When someone has been married a long time, the loss of their spouse is devastating. Depression is really common as people get older because you can't do everything you used to do. My husband is 67 and he is legally blind due to diabetes, and that is a daily challenge and very depressing. Other people have other conditions. You may want to mention your concerns to you mom or dad. Your grandmother could have arthritis, or her medications, if any, make her tired, so that could be other reasons she's not knitting. I'm sure it was shocking to you to see your gramma cry, but older people cry too, and since she lives with you, she doesn't have the privacy to hide it. My husband cries some too, but his kids don't ever see that. You're such a nice grandkid to care about her like that and pay attention. Play cards or monopoly with her once in awhile if you haven't been or go shopping with her. Depression can mimic dementia, by the way.

Kind of a rambling answer there, sorry about that!

Answer 3

Its very hard for someone who loses their spouse, especially if they've been together for a long time. The house feels empty and old activitys don't seem fun anymore. Its harder when you've known and loved someone for so long. She needs love, reassurance, and comfort.
Don't be afraid to say Grandma I've seen how sad you are, you don't knit anymore, you don't seem yourself sense grandpa passed away, I just want you to know that I love you and I'm there for you. If you want to talk, or if you just want company give me a call. Sometimes the hardest part is being alone after all that time.
Support should really help, and if it doesn't maybe its depression, but I really feel its just greif, which can last a long time when someone you spent your life with is gone.

Answer 4

most of your answers will no doubt indicate some state of depression, obviously a possibility. As a 25 year Paramedic I am more concerned with the episodes of "mumbling...crying". Another possibility for these episodes could be TIA.. transient ischemic attacks..or in other words red flag symptoms of a possible Blood Pressure / impending or possible Stroke type situation. Have Grandma checked by her Md. along those lines. She isn"t diabetic, is she? Lots of things can account for an altered mental state, but from what you describe, I would again be concerned about physiologic problems vs straight psych issues.

Answer 5

The loss of your grandfather, and her mental state, as well as being old are probably all related to each other. You may take her to her next doctor visit, and tell her doctor what she's doing, and that you think she may be depressed, because of the loss of your grand dad. Maybe he can prescribe her something for the depression, and something else as well. I know you're a good grand daughter, or else you wouldn't be on her trying to help her, so therefore, just keep being there for your grandmother. That's what will help her the most. God bless you both.

Answer 6

It sounds like grieving and/or depression to me, especially if she's crying. And it sounds like she's trying not to show it to others. My own grandfather was in a bad way for a little while after my grandmother passed; but he copes now (10 years since she went) by staying busy and he picked up old hobbies. His son (my uncle) lives nearby and comes over and encourages him and also has made it possible for him to show off his work (he builds replica airplanes from wood and also does other kinds of woodwork.) He stays active and helps his neighbors. When he looks back at the past, he looks WAY back and tells tales of working on WWII airplanes. He doesn't dwell on my grandmother's passing, but her picture is everywhere; he used to say she still stayed in the house and moved things around, but it comforted him.

My point is that you might try to help your grandmother look forward and perhaps take up new hobbies, ones that won't remind her of times in recent past when she lost her husband but ones that she can associate with you and her children. Get her interested in new things and let her come around and decide when she's ready to let her husband go in her own mind. If she has new things to focus on, then she won't be inclined to decline and join him in death. (This happens a lot with older people who have been together a long time when one dies.) Monitor her behavior and try to engage her in the here and now as best you are able.

Answer 7

You sound like a wonderful granddaughter! You didn't mention how old your grandmother is. The things you described can be attributed to senility. I think you need to let your parents know what you have been noticing, just in case thay haven't already noticed. Good luck, sweetie.

Answer 8

I'm sure she misses her husband dearly?do es your family give her a lot of attention?,she may feel lonely, or left out,or maybe even worthless,she may-need some real family quality time, or she may need to get involved in stuff, like cards,some women's clubs, some place where she feels useful and wanted, id say give her a lot of love and make sure she sees the doctor, let your mom know

Answer 9

Yes please talk to your parents about this. You Grandma is depressed. She could be helped with talk therapy and maybe groups. Many cities have drop in centers for seniors so that they have each other to talk to. They have activities like bingo, card playing, group counseling. I live in a senior high rise apt building. A lot of my neighbors got to the drop in center every day and it helps. You grandma could meet other women who love to knit and she may pick those needles again. It would also help her to talk to other women who have lost their husbands. We talk about our dead husbands or wives a lot around here. Talking helps. Being around others in her age group will also help. So please yeas talk to your parents. Give your Grandma a hug for me.You are a good granddaughter. God Bless You!

Answer 10

She's stressed out and not yet emotionally capable to let go of things that had happened in the past. A sweet talk would do.