my dad loves booze more then us?

Question

could you help, my dad has a drink problem as he drinks every nite, he has about 5 cans a nite an when he has had a drink he is mean an shouts at us all,an the next day he donest member what he has done.alk to him but he wont do nothen about it, he just says he hasnt got one, how can i help him an what weould be the best thing you could do for him , please help as its hard wacthin him drink every nite

Answer 1

Hi, Oh dear you little darling, you can all see what is happening to your dad, but i am afraid until he realises it himself there is not much you can do. The only person who can help your dad is him, himself. People who drink are always in self denial that they have a drink problem, it's only when something serious happens that they begin to realise that they have a problem. I have a close family member that is an alcoholic, she knows she is but will not seek help, she had been in rehabilitation 4 times and now she is past caring, but that dosent help up us with her unreasonable behaviour, and demands. I feel for you and your family has your mum not said anything to him next day, I hope for your sake that he realises soon . God Bless You, hope things work out.

Answer 2

Sweetheart there is nothing you can do for your dad until he actually admits he has a problem with the drink.
Like many drinkers they are always the last to acknowledge or admit they do have a problem, but admitting to having a problem is the first step in helping themselves.
My dad used to drink when we were kids and although he never shouted or hit us kids or my mum it was hard going as all the neighbours knew him and use to snigger and talk about him over their garden fences.
Have you got a family member who you can really open up to and tell them whats going on at home, if not try explaining to your dad how his drinking makes you feel, i understand you may find this difficult to do, but true words come from the mouths of babes.Have you ever thought of catching him on video tape? a bit drastic but maybe if he can see for himself what he's actually doing it may be a wake up call for him.
I really hope you manage to find some help on this matter and wish you all the very best, take care.

Answer 3

Hopefully you can talk to your mum or if she is not there another adult close to the family. Also talk with your dad when he is sober. This is an addiction he has so if when he is sober he promises not to drink every night he probably means it at the time but just like someone wanting to diet or stop smoking it's not that simple. To help yourself you could join one of the groups for young people that have been suggested in some answers here. Also try and empower your dad to WANT to stop drinking. The thing is he could go for addiction counselling, join AA whatever just to keep the peace within the family but if it's not something HE wants to do unfortunately it just will not work. Hopefully, the time comes when he will want to get help for himself probably because he realises what it is doing to his family. If so encourage him but don't be on his back continually. Unfortunately until that time comes you have to cope and take any help you can for yourself. I can fully empathise with you as although not with my father I've been in the position you are in too. Sincerely hope things will get better for you soon.

Answer 4

He doesn't love the drink more then you, he is an alcoholic.
It's an adiction that will severely affect the way he acts. Try not to take his behaviour personal.
As for helping him, think about when he started drinking. What could have started it? What is it in his life that hurts him so much? Try to make positive changes in his life so his life is easier.
You should phone a free helpline, there are loads around. They can tell you what you should do. Offer support and don't judge him.
Try not to worry too much. Lots of people beat alcoholism all the time.

Answer 5

I so wish there was something I could say that would help you straight away but until your Dad can admit he has a problem there isn't a lot you can do. I have got friends who drink a bottle of wine a night and when I tell them it isn't normal they can't understand me. Keep telling your Dad just how much you love him and want him to be around for as long as possible and to think of his health and of the memories you will have of him. Hopefully it may sink in if he is told enough.
Good luck honey I hope things improve for you one day xx

Answer 6

If he does not remember what he says or does, then obviously he has a problem, the problem is getting him to realize it. This may or may not help but it is worth a try. Get a voice activated tape recorder and keep it handy around your Dad when he is drinking and goes on one of his tirades. Play it back at a time that he is sober and tell him that you want to help him because he frightens you when he does things that he does not remember. I hope this will get him to see himself in a different light. Much luck and prayers to you and your family.

Answer 7

Unfortunately there isn't anything you can do. Your dad has an illness that you cannot cure. There is support avaible for you though, that can make this easier to cope with. Please get in touch with someone who can help you.

If you are concerned about someone elses drinking, you can Al-Anon Family Groups UK and Eire:
Tel: [phone]
Email: [e-mail]
Web: http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

Alateen is also avaiable to support young people (aged 12-20) who are affected by a parents drinking.
http://www.hexnet.co.uk/alanon/alateen.html

Drinkline offer advice and information for people with alcohol problems or anyone concerned about alcohol misuse. They also offer advice on sensible drinking and information on services to help people cut down on their drinking.
Tel: [phone]

Answer 8

The first steps is for your dad to admit he has a problem but obviously this is proving really difficult.If i was in your shoes i would record him,without his knowledge,how he treats you after he has had a drink and replay it to him the next day when he is sober.he may then realise how his actions are upsetting you.You must really love your dad and it takes courage and a huge amount of guts to admit that there is a problem........good luck.

Answer 9

Call Alcoholics Anonymous and get some advice from them. Also realize he does love you, but he has an illness. Talk to a counselor at school for yourself and how to handle things. I hope he gets the help he needs.

Answer 10

That is very hard for you & your family. If it gets really bad EG. he is verbally abusive & you fear violence, call the Social Services (and / or the police). Your dad is in denial, so its going to achieve little talking to him. Try to get your mum to support your need to live in a happy, alcohol-free zone. Be brave. & well done for being able to talk about the problem.
God bless XXX