This angers me because first of all its a term that children made to express how they feel about their mothers. Second of all whats the point. These dead beats are not around so the best they can say is you can't be a father to your kids. I never thought about being a father or mother. I just tried to be the best parent I could.
2007-03-07 02:36:58 · 10 answers · asked by Toolegit 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What is this "mother" "father" stuff? How about being a good PARENT?
Nurturing, teaching, disciplining isn't necessarily gender-specific.
2007-03-07 03:33:12 · answer #1 · answered by flyhasitall 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You can't be both! Try as you may to be the best parent every child needs a male figure in their life. I don't care what all those liberals have to say about it, EVERY child needs this. Whether it is a dad, grandpa or any other consistent male figure. not some random boyfriend that comes and goes. Sorry, you can't be both mother and father you can be your best but a father figure is crucial, I am a high school behavior disorder teacher and 90% of my students have no consistent male in the house, the stats don't lie!!
2007-03-07 03:08:25 · answer #2 · answered by questionme 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Can I be a good parent to my kids? Sure. Can I be a ‘father’ to them? No, because I’m not a man.
I have sons. I can’t SHOW them how to be a man. I can talk to them about what makes a good man, but I can’t actually BE a male role model for them.
I think it’s important for children, especially boys, to have a good male role model in their life (be it a dad, an uncle, whoever). And I do think that fathers/men offer things that mothers often don’t.
For example, when my oldest was young, he was dealing with a bully at school. My response? I talked to him about it—we talked about WHY kids bully, about him ignoring it/blowing it off/etc.
My husband’s response? He took Son in the back yard and taught him how to throw a punch. Now, I don’t condone violence, but Hubby was right…if Son was FORCED to DEFEND himself, he needed to know how to do it.
But would *I* have ever taught him how to throw a punch? Maybe, maybe not. But that definitely wasn’t my initial reaction.
The point is Moms and Dads think differently. They each provide something different for their kids. And it makes for a good balance. A balance that, I think, is very beneficial to children.
But, with that said, some dads, frankly, make pretty crappy dads, and in that case the children are better off without that example in their lives.
Do I think kids are totally screwed up for life if their dad’s not around? No. But I do think they benefit GREATLY from having a positive male role model. And usually, when people say, “you can’t be a father”, that’s more or less the point they’re trying to make. It’s generally not a reflection that you aren’t a good parent.
Just my personal opinion.
I practially wrote a book. Sorry for the long response :)
2007-03-07 03:16:36 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Keep telling yourself that, but you CAN'T be a father and a mother. It sounds like something made up by a Hallmark card. Both the mother and the father provide their chidlren with different things; the mother just simply can't do both, as much as the father can't either.
Some kids just get screwed over. It's not fair, but it happens.
2007-03-07 03:14:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
I am an "only" mother to my son. His dad has not had any contact with him in a couple of years now. I've never had anyone say that to me, but I would probably just chalk it up to their ignorance and dismiss it. I do my best, too, and have found that my son responds very well to his coach. He is not lacking male mentors in his life.
2007-03-07 02:42:20 · answer #5 · answered by Rabbit 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes but lets not forget the importance of a male authority figure in a childs life.
2007-03-07 02:41:21 · answer #6 · answered by chris m 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Yes that makes me very angry because my mother was single and i feel i came out fine.
2007-03-07 02:40:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
We can't be both...its not the way God designed things. But...God does tell his that he will be a father to the fatherless. My children have the blessing of God and thats really all they need.
2007-03-07 02:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by Shareen 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, truth be told, it is difficult to be both; too difficult for some. be thankful if your kids don't develop the issues I see every day....selfishness, promiscuity, me-ism, willful ignorance....
2007-03-07 02:42:54 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ALL the crap makes me mad-then i ignore them as idiots and live
2007-03-07 02:40:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋