well im 18 and i ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months we love each each other a lot. a few weeks ago i got pregnant forthe 1st time in my life and had an abortion. my parents knew about it and since that day they werent 2 happy with him. then yesterday he got drunk and the cops stopped him so i had to go get him to take him home at midnite. so my parents now dislike him even more. and they just said that the only way to c him is if he come to my house to be with me. and i wont be allowed to go out anynmore until he proves that he has changed. well i love him so much and i wouldnt change anything about him. he made a mistake about driving drunk and well he knows he cant do that no more. so my dilema is that im thinking about moving out with him. he has a big house and a lot of money so i know he can support me, and i work also so i can pay for my own stuff. i spoke to him about it and he said he doenst want to be the man that took me away from home.
2007-03-07 02:19:56 · 10 answers · asked by Blondie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he said he would love to live with me but he doesnt want me to regret it later. he said we would work something out. but honestly im tired of my parent tellig me what to do. i want to leave . my mom told me that if i do im always gonna be her daughter and if i ever decide to come back i can but that it wont be the same and if i leave it will be against her will. what should i do... im not gonna let my parent break my relationship cuz i love him and ive never been as happy as when im with him. please help what would u do?
2007-03-07 02:22:44 · update #1
he goes to my house often he treats me good always. but my parents want a perfect man that doesnt exist. and no im not using him for his money he spent 2 months of our relationship without any money to even take me to the movies, i would pay for everything. now he is doing good agai. so he knows that ill be with him even in bad times. he is the sweetest guy i dont want to lose him.
2007-03-07 02:34:42 · update #2
he is 24. he doesnt party he is a family kinda guy. he works a lot to have what he has. his work is really stressful and in his freetime he is always with me. but then on the weekends he says he needts to relax so he drinks wine and he gets drunk at least once a month. i kow that he gets stress so i let him but then yesterday thsi happen so im not happyabout him drinking no more. but then again thats my problem and his not my parents. the thing is that i've always been a great girl good grades no problems everything was perfect i wouldnt go out oo much only with my brother. and then since i started going out with my boyfriend i go out with him alot. but nothing much usually just dinner and movie or to his familys house and stuff like that. and well now im never home so my parents are not too happy about it. they just want to control my life and i wont let that happen im so sorry they feel this way with him but i love him this is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with him.
2007-03-07 03:59:50 · update #3
well i spoke to my boyfriend and he is gonna do what my parents want. to go home see me until they let me go out again. he said that he would love to live with me everything would be so much easier. no more curfew or trouble, but that at the end im gonna end up hating him for it cuz i will regret screwing my relationship with my parents and he doenst want that. so rite now we're just gonna do that hell go to my house to visit me everyday until im able to go out again.
2007-03-07 07:51:06 · update #4
ok well i decided not to move out. i spoke to my mom and she told me that my dad is more calmed and that there is a posibility that he ll still let me go out with him just with a litle more moderation. not everyday and with a curfew. but thats fine im really ok with that.
2007-03-08 01:08:46 · update #5
sounds like a nice guy he doesnt want your parents to get mad at him. you should stay at our parents house and make sure he doesnt get drunk again or does something stupid. he really loves you so just hold on to him and donet use him because he has money.
2007-03-07 02:27:01 · answer #1 · answered by barrett m 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He screwed up big time, my dear (for that matter, so did you). Your parents have every right to be wary of him. He was driving drunk. I get the feeling that wasn't the first time. He needs to make some serious changes to his lifestyle long before you think about moving in with him. Five months is far too soon to make any big decisions like that.
He doesn't want you living with him. Not now anyway. That was the most mature thing you mentioned he did. And how old is this guy??
Normally I would say I understand. I'm 19 and I know that parents can be overbearing. Sometimes, whether we would like to admit it or not, they turn out to be right.
Patience. If it was meant to be with this guy, you can wait.
2007-03-07 10:46:45 · answer #2 · answered by FairyPrincess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old is your boyfriend? You need to really think about this. Your parents are looking out for you and that is all. I think that you should stay at home for a while longer and if he wants to be with you there is no reason he can't come to your house to see you. It's only been 5 months that you have been together in my opinion not very long at your age to be making such a big step. Not only that but it seems that he may not want you to move in yet by his response. Either way I wish you luck and hope that you make the right choice.
2007-03-07 10:27:06 · answer #3 · answered by freyja5683 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try to look at this from your parents point of view for a minute. They love you more than anything and want you to be safe and happy. So far, he hasn't made too good of an impression. I think he should try to get to know your parents and family better and do his best to show how much he loves and cares for you around them. This means growing up and being more responsible. Do your best to repair your relationship with your parents. They are just trying to do what is best for you. The two of you should really make an effort together to let your parents see what the two of you share and that he is a good guy. Then talk about moving out. Don't leave your family on bad terms because you will later regret it. It's up to the two of you to prove your parents wrong by getting yourselves together. Please, from now on, use protection.
2007-03-07 10:26:54 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Think about this. Is he worth upsetting the relationship you've spent 18 years building with your parents? Is one guy who can't put a condom on or call a sober driver worth it? Is he worth giving up a great relationship with your parents? A guy you've only been with for 5 months? A guy who didn't encourage you to give that baby life and give it up for adoption or something? How old is he? Is this the kind of guy you want to give up life as you know it for?
Guys don't change. He's going to want to continue drinking, and continue having sex with you. If he's around 20, it's only going to get worse (I'm 23, trust me). Guys are just getting started around this age, and are not ready to settle down. Follow your parents advice, and let him come over if you want to see him. You both live seperately, and let your parents re-build trust in him.
You're 18. You're in love with being in love. You like being treated well, and who doesn't. But please wait until you're older to move in with someone. I was a mature 18, and couldn't have ahandled not living at home or being in college then.
2007-03-07 10:35:45 · answer #5 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He got you pregnant. Strike 1. He is a drunk driver strike 2. He sounds like a real catch. You are 18 and have known him for a very short time, 5 months is very short, and he already has 2 strikes! Sounds like you need to listen to your parents and dump him before he gets strike 3. Who knows what it will be!
2007-03-07 12:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by Elizabeth Howard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Five months ???? That's all ??? And you are only 18????? I think you need to slow waaaaay down . Within five months you got pregnant and you've had to take him home. Your parents are in turmoil, and if you leave home, it will be under the worst circumstances. Also, it doesn't sound like he really wants to have you full time in that big house. Are you positive he is ready to be totally committed? Slow down and try to think more rationally before you make a really big mistake.
2007-03-07 10:37:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you are 18 so it's really up to you... but do you really think that moving in with him after 5 months is the greatest idea...? although you may think it is now... like he said you might regret it later... you may not think you will... but people change... things might change right after you move in with him... it might take a while... but your relationship will probably change... it could get better... but you also have to realize that it could get worse... i don't want you to regret it now... because if you move in with him and your relationship goes bad... then you go to move back in with your mom, like she said... it'll be different... i suggest trying to stay with him for a few nights at first then possibly move in but do it gradually...your boyfriend might not be there down the road... but your mom will hopefully be there... i hope things do work out for you with whatever you do decide to do... good luck... if you want to talk more... you can email me... please keep me updated with what happens and let me know if i can help you...
2007-03-07 10:35:40 · answer #8 · answered by damiens_mommy_05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're over 18, so you can do what you want.
Just remember there's a reason your parents think he's a creep. When you get a little older, you'll understand your parents know more about life than you do now.
2007-03-07 10:25:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nobody is ever going to be good enough for daddy's little girl. but you don't need to reinforce that by telling him every stupid thing that he does. find a more impartial person to complain to about relationship problems. tell your parents about the good stuff to encourage their approval.
2007-03-07 10:34:27 · answer #10 · answered by sic-n-tired 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋